iZombie Season 1 Episode 13 – TV Review

iZombie Blaine's World Major zombie

His heart only pumps once every six seconds. It’s hard to get a rhythm flowing.

Oh, spoiler, Major is a zombie.

Temporarily.

Maybe.

TL;DR Major finally goes on his zombie-killing rampage, but ends up zombified at Liv’s hands (well, fingernail) to save his life; Blaine ends up limping away, having been injected with the cure; Liv, Ravi, and Babineaux solve the I Know What You Did Last Summer kids’ murders, and expose Max Rager; Nobody ends the season happy.

Ah, so much zombie angst. Zangst?

So the COW isn’t really a COW this episode, as it’s more of a follow-on/continuation of the teen murders from last episode. Sin turns up dead, so our heroes are forced to go after someone other than Sebastian as the new culprit. Sin’s brains give Liv the vital clue she needs: the teens were actually being pursued by Max Rager to get their incriminating USB back (they stole it from Sebastian). Evidence suggests that Cameron has been kidnapped by Max Rager goons, but it turns out that Cameron is the one who murdered Teen No. 2 and Sin, so he could get the money being offered by Max Rager, and to prevent his friends from going to the police. Rude. Liv exposes the evidence from the USB to the media, though Steven Weber seems oddly unfazed by the bad media storm. Meanwhile, Major escapes Blaine’s torturous clutches and fucking wastes everyone working at Meat Cute. Except Blaine, naturally, who has been spending his time conning Liv into handing over the stolen astronaut brains. Blaine fatally stabs Major, but Liv soon arrives on the scene and attacks Blaine. She chooses not to kill him, but to instead inject him with the experimental zombie cure Ravi has cooked up. She then makes the hard decision to infect Major so that he’ll survive, before giving him the only other dose of the zombie cure because he bitches at her and she wants to shut his fine ass up. The episode ends as Liv’s brother is caught in an explosion at Meat Cute (Suzuki uses it to cover up the massacre), and Liv refuses to give her tainted blood to save his life. Oh, and Steven Weber is actually trying to refine the zombie qualities in Max Rager to create a new product.

Instant undeath in a can. Who wouldn’t want that?

I must admit, this isn’t the skyscraping, explosive (save for Suzuki. Thanks, Suzuki) finale I was expecting. I would have liked some more emotion, some more gut-wrenching dilemmas, and some more zangst.

Basically, a bit more CW.

What we get, instead, is a tight, contained story that ties up every significant loose end. And that’s not a bad trade-off.

 

Why I hate this episode:

The only real dilemma is Liv’s choice to zombify Major to save his life. On paper, this sounds like it should work just fine. But in reality, it fails to satisfy. It’s such an obvious, low risk choice, as evidenced when Liv just jabs Major with the cure about five seconds later, anyway. Way to really put it all on the line, Liv.

Major is no better. He has a big whinge at Liv afterwards about how she only zombified him so they could be together (and he refuses her, natch), and didn’t take his wishes into consideration. So you wanted to die when salvation was so readily available?

Blaine’s reasoning for being spared death is pretty flimsy. He makes a good point about how he knows where all the zombies he’s made are. But who’s to say that they haven’t themselves, either directly or accidentally, made more zombies?

And Blaine is a slippery villain, anyway. What makes you think you can trust him?

And you’re going to waste one of the only two cure samples you have on him? And just assume that you’ll actually be able to find him again to see if it’s worked?

And Liv is all superior once she’s injected him, claiming that he’s going to be their guinea pig to see if the cure will work (and won’t kill you like the last one did to the zombie rat). But then half a scene later, Liv just sticks Major with the other one. Fingers crossed, I suppose.

Aly doesn’t appear in this episode.

Oh, and Major locks the Candyman in the Meat Cute freezer and tosses that grenade he bought in there to kill him. But when we see the Candyman’s body later, it’s pretty in tact. Boo.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Major kills a lot of zombies, yo. He spends most of the episode locked in the Meat Cute freezer. His plan to escape is pretty clever: he waits until only that one, really incompetent goon is in the back area, then sets a fire in the freezer to lure him in. The goon slips on some icy urine that Major had laid down, and Major just bops him and locks the freezer door behind him. Good work.

Major then just casually goes out to his car, arms himself, and gets to work. He gets two more goons with a shotgun, but the woman almost successfully pleads for her life. But then she tries to sneak attack Major, and he knocks her face first into a band saw. Juicy. He then uses a revolver to finish off freezer goon, before locking a late-to-the-party Candyman in the freezer and chucking in the grenade.

Major is able to start a fire in the freezer because, as part of his torture, Blaine sends in the de-brained, meat hook-hung body of another of Major’s youths to disturb Major in the freezer, and the youth has a lighter in his pocket. The dead body is fucking ghastly. If you put it in slow-mo and clanged some wood blocks together, it’d be like something out of Hannibal.

Blaine also serves Major some brain soup. As expected.

Blaine may get away, but a later scene does confirm that he’s becoming human again. Mainly because he’s wolfing down a burrito and actually enjoying the flavour. And his roots are showing.

Liv, oddly, doesn’t get to do all that much this episode. She inherits some snarkiness from Sin’s brain, but is otherwise herself. But she does get to tie up all the COW business, which dovetails nicely back to Max Rager. Cameron is one greedy little shit, isn’t he?

With Blaine neutered, it looks like Steven Weber will be heading up the antagonist department next season. He explains to a new colleague that he and Max Rager are not only aware of the “side effects” of their product, but actively want to refine and produce these into a new product. They want to iron out the brain craving and changes to appearance, but they plan to market it as a stimulant to prevent fatigue and allow you to not need sleep. Honestly, that sounds like a pretty good deal. I’m tired of wasting six-to-eight hours a night sleeping. I could be using that time to catch up on TV shows I didn’t care enough about to watch when they first aired.

Suzuki is also out. He intercepts the police calls to the disturbance at Meat Cute, and then later rearranges the scene a bit, scrawls a message with Blaine’s name in blood on the wall, and blows himself and the whole building up. Neat.

Liv gets best line of the episode when she shuts down Blaine’s rant that he’ll just produce more zombies by jabbing him with the cure: “Make more now, bitch.” I just like the “bitch.”

Liv’s brother shows up to his first shift at Meat Cute at just the wrong time to both see the aftermath of the massacre, and to get caught in the explosion. It’s good comedy.

I can’t wait to see how Liv explains to her mum and the doctors why she won’t give her blood to help him, too. Awkward.

Oh, and Babineaux notices that the Candyman is wearing the shoes he stole from Major’s mentee. Babineaux puts things together, and orders a gun residue test to be performed on Major. And you know that he’s got plenty of gun residue on him. Get those excuses ready, Major.

iZombie Blaine's World Major gun

Gosh, Major. Haven’t you ever been a professional assassin before? Pfft.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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