iZombie Season 1 Episode 9 – TV Review

iZombie Patriot Brains Percy Daggs III

“Why don’t you ask Rob Thomas? He’s right over there.”

iZombie is the sole survivor of the finale week carnage.

So you’ll be getting next episode’s review on time for once.


TL;DR The COW is pushed to the back to focus on more important things; like Liv trying to take down Blaine; and getting Lowell killed in the process; the Candyman hits back at Major; Blaine gets a new business opportunity; Ravi does not become a zombie.

That rat bite could still give him rabies or something, though, right?

The COW is a pretty basic “woman’s new husband kills her ex-husband using a flying drone” affair. Though, it is nice to see Percy Daggs III putting on his villain shoes. More importantly, Liv is inspired to fight for justice as she now knows what Blaine is doing (namely, murdering street youths to sell brains). She has a big whinge at Lowell for not doing anything against Blaine sooner (he was getting those kids’ memory flashes, too), so he agrees to help her lure Blaine out so she can snipe him. Because the COW victim was an army sniper. Liv pussies out, though, which leaves Lowell to make an attempt on Blaine’s life, the result of which is a bullet to Lowell’s head. Oops. Meanwhile, Major recklessly forges on with his investigation into the Candyman. The Candyman catches wind, and attacks him, but Major shoots and supposedly kills him. Both Major and Babineaux are baffled when his “dead” body vanishes. Meanwhile, Ravi is not turned into a zombie by the rat bite from last episode. And Blaine gets a demand from a rich client to go kill an astronaut. So the client can eat the brains and pretend he’s an astronaut.

Yeah, but what if you got memories of them taking a shit or something? Astronauts poop, too.

I was hoping it wouldn’t take long for iZombie to throw off the shackles of COW oppression, and be the arc-heavy soap opera its CW destiny demands. The COW this episode is even more tangential and even less subplot-relevant than last week.

Keep it up.


Why I hate this episode:

The downside to this is that the COW ends up emaciated and bizarre. Having a drone as the murder weapon was a stretch enough by itself. It’s compounded by the fact that nobody seems to care much about the COW, anyway.

Another negative aspect of the diminished importance of the COW is that Babineaux is starting to fade into the background. He hasn’t been particularly important for a while now. Which is a shame, because he’s a cool dude.

Likewise, Ravi doesn’t get much play, either. The false alarm with the rat bite is just, like, whatever.

Liv is a bitch to Lowell about him taking Blaine’s ill-gotten brains. Lowell rightly points out that we’re not all fortunate enough to be able to go work in a morgue for our brain supplies. Liv cops this as a fair point, but Lowell still ends up on the wrong end of a handgun because of Liv’s moral crusade.

Which Liv doesn’t even follow through on herself. And her weakness is why Lowell dies. So good fucking work there, Liv.

Oh, and Blaine, while he appreciates the money on offer, isn’t impressed with his rich client’s demands for astronaut brain. Why not just kill him? It worked on Lowell. And your goons. And Jackie.


But it’s not all bad:

I do want to see if Blaine will be able to complete the mission, though.

But I think he might be a little busy dealing with Liv. Not only does she get proof this episode about his slimy business operation, and where (and from whom) he gets his product, but she also witnesses him murdering her boyfriend. And after Lowell said “I love you” and everything. I don’t know what stopped her from picking that sniper rifle back up and taking him out after he blew Lowell’s head off. But I’ll hold out hope that Blaine has an even tastier comeuppance waiting for him.

Major gets closer than ever before to the Candyman, but not without taking a hilarious wrong turn first. Having seen the human brain in his car, Major doesn’t jump to the zombie conclusion. Instead, he finds rogue blog posts about how eating human brains can help bodybuilders train. So he goes to Candyman’s gym and tries to feel out a trainer on where he can get some human brains to juice up, bro. The trainer is, understandably, confused. But it is a good story to tell your mates, and the Candyman overhears the retelling.

Taking a page from Blaine’s no-nonsense book of villainy, the Candyman immediately gets Major’s address and resolves to kill him to silence him. Major fights back, though, and pops him a couple of times with that alley gun of his. He then desperately calls Babineaux for help, but the Candyman’s body is gone by the time Babineaux arrives. Come on, boys. It’s time to consider the Z-word.

The COW victim is an army sniper named Everett, who lost his wife and young daughter due to PTSD. Percy is the wife’s new husband, and Everett is kind of a massive nuisance, so Percy uses a drone that he can get from his work to shoot Everett on a paintball skirmish battlefield. Simple, right?

Ravi is relieved to discover the zombie rat bite didn’t affect him. It evidently cannot go cross-species. Which means Ravi won’t have to cancel his date with Aly.

Ravi and Liv realise Blaine must have a police contact to have moved the street youths’ bodies to the cult farm. Suzuki, you’re on notice.

Lowell makes an easy-to-miss mention that Blaine is likely the one to have zombified him. Because Blaine is a fan of his music and thinks he’s cool. Liv’s plan to get Blaine in position is to have Lowell invite Blaine for a jam sesh, and it works. Cute.

Liv, having inherited both marksmanship and PTSD from Everett, goes to the paintball skirmish to work out stress. She slays, natch.

Blaine also gushes constantly about his love for Kurt Cobain this episode. 90s kids, consider yourselves catered to.

Oh, and I’m going to miss Liv and Lowell’s post-sex, mostly obscured bodies.

iZombie Patriot Brains Liv Lowell in bed

iZombie: defying stereotypes.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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