The Vampire Diaries Season 6 Episode 22 – TV Review

TVD I'm Thinking Of You All The While cast season 7

Huh, I already don’t miss Elena at all. Who could have predicted that?

And don’t worry, Damon is still around, too. He’s just out of frame.

Just like Elena is out of this show.

TL;DR Elena gets turned into Sleeping Beauty or something and that’s how they’re getting rid of her; Kai dies, as does the entire Gemini coven; Caroline and Stefan still don’t get together; Tyler becomes a werewolf again; Elena’s departure is more of a relief than it is sad.

I’ll shed tears for Norma and Romero. But I’m not shedding a goddam tear for you, Elena.

So Kai’s little window shattering display was more potent than it looked, as most of the Gemini witches are torn apart by it. Damon rushes an unconscious Elena to the hospital while Kai commits suicide, which apparently causes the death of the rest of the Geminis. But twist, Mummy gave Kai her vampire blood, so he comes back to life in transition and tastes Papa Gemini, just as he’s dying, to make himself a vitch. Neat. Alaric has a hissy fit at Kai for killing his wife and unborn babies, and Tyler (now a werewolf: Liv let him suffocate her so he could activate the curse, turn, and heal his fatal injury from the explosion) bites him. But the party isn’t over for Kai yet. He still has to tell the gang the reason for Elena’s condition: he’s Sleeping Beauty’d her, and tied her sleep to Bonnie’s life. So if Bonnie dies, only then will Elena awake. Damon fusses for a bit, but settles for decapitating Kai (boo), saving Bonnie’s life, and now Elena will go into stasis until Bonnie dies of old age or whatever. Way to puss out, TVD. Everyone says their farewells, and nothing is lost. Meanwhile, Stefan tells Caroline that he can wait for her to be ready for his dick. Meanwhile, Mummy is still upset over her missing vitches, but she and Enzo end up finding them once Kai is dead. And in a flash forward to end the season, we see Mystic Falls abandoned, Matt as a grim sheriff, and Damon watching from the clock tower.

Oh, no. It’s One Tree Hill-ing. It’s over, people.

So this finale is a bizarre, haphazard mess. And I kind of love that about it.

If only Elena’s goodbyes didn’t soak up so much screentime. Who cares at this point? Even Katherine got a more dedicated farewell than this. Both times.

Because Katherine was better.

 

Why I hate this episode:

The reason for Elena’s exit is so dumb. TVD evidently didn’t have the balls to straight-up kill her, and there’s no version of reality where Damon would let Elena just leave town like Jeremy did. So what do we get? Some idiotic Sleeping Beauty spell from Kai (performed offscreen, just to rub it in) that is apparently totes irreversible, you guise. Because TVD has never found weasels around supposedly unshakeable spells, right?

The obvious solution is to just have Kai use his magic siphon ability to suck it out of Elena and/or Bonnie. Kai has sucked a magic-blocking spell out of an entire town before; he’s sucked the vampirism out of Liz; and just this episode, he sucks the magical properties out of Tyler’s werewolf bite to heal himself. But this Sleeping Beauty spell is just too super dooper special to mess around with, folks. Golly gosh.

Also, Kai dies. Which is not okay. We were already losing the main character from the show. We should have at least been keeping around the best new villain since the early days of Klaus. But no, TVD apparently wants to really struggle next season.

And it’s retarded how everyone just immediately capitulates and agrees to let Elena lie in a coffin for the next several decades, just because her and Bonnie could die if they tried to tinker with the spell. And your lives have never been in danger from a spell before?

I should also mention that Jeremy comes back for, like, two seconds to say goodbye to Elena. Back so soon?

The flash forward at the end has a weird, alienating vibe to it. This isn’t some post-apocalyptic teen franchise. This is a Twilight-era vampire franchise, dammit. And I’ll never not laugh at Matt’s sheriff’s uniform. Tee hee.

The vitches get shamefully excised from the entire episode, save for the half a second of screentime they get when Mummy and Enzo find them arbitrarily. I’m insulted that Kai didn’t use them to take revenge on the Gemini coven.

Stefan has yet another blow up at Mummy about how she loves her vitch family more than she loves him. We get it, Stefan. You don’t need to keep reminding us.

Alaric tries to shoot himself in the head in his grief over Jo’s death. Bitch, you should be used to losing love interests by now.

While I appreciate that Stefan has upgraded from Elena to Caroline, I still scoff at how hard TVD is trying to discount the epicness of Stefan and Elena’s romance from the early seasons, and say Damon was her one and only. No. We watched those. We know of the doppelganger magnetism. Stop overselling us on Stefan’s new outlook.

Oh, and I’m pretty sure Caroline is just compliment fishing with Stefan now. He comes to her and gives her an entire spiel about how perfect and amazing and wonderful she is, and how he’ll wait for her to be ready for love. Caroline’s face is just like “Yes, tell me I’m beautiful.” If you’re keen, then get that dick, baby. The man is not a saint. He won’t wait forever.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Elena’s gone. If only she could be so easily forgotten. Like poor Katherine.

I relish the fact that Elena’s exit is so dumb. It makes Katherine’s look better by comparison. Not that it’s difficult for Elena to make Katherine look better by comparison.

All of our lead characters get to have their own, personal goodbye by going inside Elena’s mind. Bonnie and Caroline say goodbye at a sleepover; Elena farewells Matt and encourages him to complete his police training; she encourages Tyler to leave Mystic Falls behind and go live his life; she consoles Alaric through his grief; she’s glad to see Jeremy, and he assures her that he’s going to spend his life how he wants; she tells Stefan that she’s looking forward to seeing him when she wakes up in sixty-odd years; and she and Damon get to be all lovey-dovey and dance. The bottom line is: Elena’s done. And I’m happy with that.

They put her in a coffin in the Salvatore mausoluem, and have Bonnie do a spell to keep anyone from getting in. Stefan and Damon make sure to remind us that Elena still has the cure in her veins, so they’ll have to make sure no vampires looking for release find out about her. Given that we get the flash forward, I suppose that means none of the vitches considered reneging on their vampirism. Because they could suck the magic out of that seal, you know.

The flash forward ends with Damon looking over the centre of Mystic Falls from the clock tower. I presume he’s obsessively watching out for threats to Elena. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he was responsible for the town’s abandonment.

Kai makes sure that his last episode is a good one. He does all the typical Kai things, like murdering more (or, in this case, all) of his family, screwing with our heroes, and being snarky and fabulous all the while. His standout moment is when Bonnie gloats that she’ll let the werewolf bite kill him, and Kai simply siphons the magic out of it and heals himself. Then he slams her against a wall.

Damon considers his dilemma with the Sleeping Beauty spell, and Kai recommends that Damon simply let Bonnie die from the wall slam injuries, then Damon can have Elena without having to actually kill Bonnie himself. Damon seems to accept this, and leaves. Bonnie is dismayed, but Kai is simply frustrated, because he expected Damon to have to agonise over the decision more. I lol’d.

Damon then does a season 2 Elijah and slaps Kai’s head off. It’s cool, so I’ll allow it.

The most emotional scene doesn’t belong to Elena, but to Tyler and Liv. Tyler is impaled by a huge glass shard, and is dying, while Liv is dying from Kai’s earlier suicide causing the Geminis to all drop off. Liv knows that she’s going to die, anyway, so offers Tyler to suffocate her, activate the werewolf curse, and turn under the full moon so that he may live. Tyler mournfully accepts the offer, and squeezes the life out of her. It could have used some more full-on sobbing from Tyler, but it was powerful enough.

All the Geminis are dead, so thank fuck we won’t have to see them again. I’m shocked Luke didn’t find his way back to us at any point, though. Way to kill off your only gay character, TVD.

Jo and her babies are dead. So a TVD-verse show is willing to kill babies, but only if they aren’t born yet.

Enzo and Mummy are now full-on teammates. I was hoping Enzo would get some of that hot, MILF action before the awkwardness and possible re-tooling of next season. Oh, well.

Best line of the episode goes to Kai via video recording to Bonnie, explaining the Sleeping Beauty spell and why he did it: “Your betrayal really hurt me, Bon. So this is kinda all your fault.” Finally, someone agrees with me.

Oh, and I’ll remember season 6 as the season of Kai. Elena’s exit is a perk.

TVD I'm Thinking Of You All The While Kai

What will we ever do without you?

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

10 responses to “The Vampire Diaries Season 6 Episode 22 – TV Review”

  1. Ellie says :

    I’m actually interested in seeing where they go with Damon next season. I hope he goes back to season 1 Damon. Not to shit on your delight for Damon’s lack of considering letting Bonnie die but Elena would not forgive him had he actually killed her. We all know she has to be the one suffering for the sake of humanity. Like that bitch is Jesus. Here’s hoping for as little Stephan brooding as possible in season 7. Saddest part of the finale is not being able to read your reviews!

  2. Lydia says :

    “The season of Kai” is what they should write on the DVD box.

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      I like to imagine that he and Katherine have found each other in some kind of afterlife, and just spend all day drinking gin martinis and talking about how much Elena sucks. And how they’d both hate-bang Damon.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: