The Vampire Diaries Season 6 Episode 21 – TV Review

TVD I'll Wed You In The Golden Summertime Stefan Caroline

Nobody, really.

Get ready for an open bar, because it’s a wedding episode.

Not Elena and Damon’s, thank God.

TL;DR It’s Alaric and Jo’s wedding day; Damon resolves to take the cure; Caroline nixes her relationship with Stefan in the pursuit of self-flagellation; everyone else kind of just treads water; Kai sweeps in at the last minute to ruin everything.

That’s why we love him.

So yeah, it’s time for Alaric and Jo to get hitched before those babies pop out. We wouldn’t want to have any unwed mothers in this show. Most of our main characters spend the episode preparing, including a returning Caroline, who steps in as the wedding planner at the last minute (she crushes it, obviously). Stefan takes Damon on a trip to suburbia in an Elena-sanctioned effort to make him reconsider becoming mortal, but Damon eventually finds the strength to forge ahead because of his wuv for Elena. Meanwhile, Caroline and Stefan talk their shit out, and despite his forgiveness for making him turn his humanity off, Caroline can’t forgive herself, and shoots down their potential courtship as having love in her life would erode her sense of control. The wedding suffers a few hiccups, but the ceremony almost goes as planned. Until Kai stabs Jo through the back and assaults the entire wedding party. Other subplots include Bonnie and Matt getting knocked out by unseen forces (presumably, Kai); Bonnie having nightmares that Mummy is going to kill her; Jo somehow being okay with Papa Gemini attending the wedding (along with throngs of other Geminis); and Liv returning with a shit new haircut, but the same shit attitude.

Tyler is a doofus hanger-on-er, but even he doesn’t deserve that.

So Damon decided to take the cure because his love for Elena is so strong.

Hasn’t he seen the divorce rate? Gosh.

Thank God for Kai, though. I thank God for him frequently, actually.

As I made sure to mention in this year’s Top 5 TV Shows list (TVD’s back in it, baby), he is Katherine 2.0.

Thank. God.

 

Why I hate this episode:

I can’t wait to see how TVD fumbles an explanation for how Kai got himself out of the prison world. Did he take my advice and just pick up the Ascendant from where Bonnie dropped it? Could we be lucky enough for it to have been that simple?

For someone who still loves Damon, Elena goes to supervillainous lengths to convince him not to take the cure. She has Stefan project fantasies into Damon’s mind of Damon and Elena having a strained relationship, and even her dying and Damon falling into alcoholism and despair. I understand she doesn’t want him to take the cure if he isn’t sure, but goddamn, bitch.

Also, way to be a pussy whipped stooge, Stefan. The only saving grace of the entire sequence is that Stefan and Damon don’t have a jealousy squabble about who loves Elena more. I’m glad those days are behind us.

The resolution to Damon’s soul searching is him just seeing a glimpse of an elderly couple who are still apparently in love, and that’s all the proof Damon needs to decide on giving mortality a try with Elena. By the same token, Stefan’s mind projections were only glimpses into what mortal life would be like. He sees a couple of tiny arguments, and that’s supposed to be the whole of what the relationship could be?

I can’t believe Jo is cool with having Papa Gemini around. Fuck him off, honey. Fuck off all the Geminis. They’re crazy.

Liv’s new hair sucks. And she’s still a turd to Tyler. Why couldn’t we have kept Luke, instead?

Elena gushes to Alaric about how good it is to be human again. I don’t think anything she says could please me anymore. She’s lost to me.

Bonnie and Matt arbitrarily decide to kill Mummy (or hurt or her something. I can’t pretend to pay attention to these two) just to get their obligatory screentime. Snooze.

The wedding ceremony is at night? Bitch, that cuts into reception time. I need that time to suck your bar dry. Rude.

Liv doesn’t even get to be a bridesmaid. So much for being the bride’s sister.

Oh, and as I was watching Alaric do his vows for Jo and all that, I just kept thinking to myself that she’s cool, but she’s no Jenna, you know? Is she even a Meredith, for that matter? Sorry, Jo.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Jo does look very nice at the wedding. And her pre-wedding stress is just the right level of endearing without slipping into neurotic bridezilla territory.

She has Caroline to thank for that, as she, predictably, makes short work of all the wedding arrangements when Jo’s wedding planner calls in sick. Caroline was made for bossing people around, yo. Remember Thanksgiving?

And her hair and dress for the wedding are immaculate. Natch.

Caroline and Stefan’s sitdown is quite nice, actually. She asks him if he hates her, and he says he doesn’t. He’s still not totally thrilled with the horrors she inflicted, but he’s willing to forgive her. Sadly, Caroline doesn’t think she can risk being in love, as it would take away some of the control in her life. Which she needs to stay on the straight and narrow. Aww.

Earlier in the episode, Caroline tells Elena that she’s preparing to go around and apologise to everyone for her switch-off rampage. Elena calls it the “amends tour.” Which is the same thing I call the morning after binge drinking.

Kai makes sure to steal the show in the closing minutes. I’ll give him massive points for cloaking himself and stabbing Jo in the back just as she’s about to say her vows. That’s classy as hell.

He gets himself the best line of the episode just after, which is in no way surprising: “I was gonna wait ’til the ‘death do us part’ bit, but it seemed a little on the nose. Amirite?” You’re right.

He also is likely responsible for choking Matt and Bonnie into unconsciousness, which I wholeheartedly condone.

But his greatest contribution comes right at the end, when he hits the entire wedding with a magic blast that shatters the windows of the venue, sending Elena tumbling to the ground. Take that, you human chew toy.

Mummy is excited about getting her family back, and it’s fair to assume that Kai is the one who freed her. She takes Enzo to the rendezvous point, but is perturbed to find they’re not there. I’m hoping that Kai has contracted the vitches to come to the wedding and slay all their traitorous Gemini brethren. That would be handy. It’s what Papa Gemini deserves, at least.

Jo gets stabbed a little higher than the baby region, but is it too much to hope that the oven buns won’t make it? That’d make for some delicious notches on Kai’s belt.

Tyler is forgiving of Caroline for trying to kill him and Matt, which I appreciate. And he doesn’t put up with Liv’s shit. Good for him.

I enjoyed Stefan’s projection of Elena being dead in the future. If only we could make that happen in the present.

Oh, and Kai made sure to suit up for the wedding. Would a monster observe the dress code?

TVD I'll Wed You In The Golden Summertime Kai

Just look at that innocent little smile.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

5 responses to “The Vampire Diaries Season 6 Episode 21 – TV Review”

  1. Sire says :

    KAI. IS. SO. FUCKING. HOT.

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