The Top 5 TV Shows of the Past Year (For Whatever Reason) – Best Of
It’s I Just Hate Everything’s third anniversary.
Aren’t you tired yet?
Well, it doesn’t matter if you are or aren’t, I’ve got a tradition to uphold. Stay tuned for the film list (with a twist this year), and get ready for my arbitrary collection of TV shows that I think belong in an Internet post. This is important stuff, people. And if you missed the last two years’ lists, here you go.
Now, to stave off obligatory complaints and Hannibal fanboy snipes, here are the selection criteria: any shows reviewed in the period between 7 May 2014 and 7 May 2015 qualify, regardless of original air date; these shows are not necessarily my favourite shows; nor necessarily my least favourite; they are simply memorable, important to me, and/or represent my past year’s viewing experience; for sake of reference, I will not include shows I didn’t review; and they are in no particular order.
Honourable mentions are also part of the tradition, and here are this year’s unlucky losers:
- The Originals: You got rid of the baby so well at the end of last season, but then you had to bring it back to vacuum all the stakes away.
- Glee: As much as I love to hate it, I made a vow after enduring that Hurt Locker episode that I wouldn’t give it a place. And I won’t.
- Eye Candy: It was bad, but I kept forgetting it existed.
- Revenge: Bye. Too bad you peaked in season 3.
- And some lip service for the shows I didn’t review: Shameless US, Banshee, The 100, Jane the Virgin, and How To Get Away With Murder were all pretty memorable.
Okay, let’s go.
Episodes reviewed in past year: Season 3 Episode 1 – Season 3 Episode 9
I regret starting I Just Hate Everything on 7 May 2012. My anniversary tends to fall on the week before most of my shows’ finales. Which makes assessing their year a bit difficult.
But that’s not really an issue for Bates Motel. If you’ve been following me with Bates Motel at all, you should know that my adoration for this shining gem of a show is reaching ugly, embarrassing levels. I cried real tears in the episode just gone by. How tragic is that?
It’s hard to be ashamed, though, when the television on display is of such high calibre. Season 3 even made the smart move to do away with all the drug trade intrigue that had verged on suffocating the earlier seasons. The Arcanum Club conspiracy got swept away deftly, leaving the biblical struggle between Norman and Norma as the focus of the show.
Dylan and Romero are cute, too.
PS: This is my favourite show from the past year. In case you hadn’t gotten there yet.
Episodes reviewed in past year: Season 5 Episode 1 – Season 5 Episode 25 (season finale)
From my favourite show to one of the worst (I’d say Glee is still my least favourite, if you made me). Pretty Little Liars made it onto my Top 5 in a positive light back in May 2013. But how the mighty have fallen.
It’s not just that Alison is alive, basically invalidating most of the conflict from seasons past. It’s not just that Mona is alive, despite PLL showing us her dead body at the mid-season finale. It’s not just the pointless, relationship melodrama stealing time from a villain who literally murders people.
No, PLL’s real problem is that it’s got a guaranteed two more seasons. So that’s another two seasons with which to throw us an endless stream of As. I mean, who hasn’t been A at some point by now? Is it the parents’ turn yet?
And the ending of this season, with the Umbrella Corporation-esque super bunker, is garbage by the measure of any show. And particularly by the measure of a teen soap opera.
Boo on you, Pretty Little Liars.
Episodes reviewed in the past year: Season 5 Episode 21 – Season 6 Episode 20
As the image above indicates, Kai is the major reason that TVD managed to barge its way back into the Top 5, after being omitted last year.
I’ll admit, I’ve been waiting for Katherine to return ever since her noticeably odd “death” in season 5. And I didn’t have to wait long, it turns out, because Kai is every bit the fabulous sociopath that Katherine was. Just not dressed quite as nicely.
Yeah, Elena still does everything she can to ruin every second of screentime she touches, but Kai, along with Stefan and Caroline’s relationship, Alaric’s return, Jeremy’s farewell, and the promise of Elena’s farewell, makes things so much better.
Gone are the days of the “wait, what?” Traveller plots. Sibling murder and ambiguous sexuality are what Kai brings, and I’m so glad he did.
Still waiting for Bonnie to be killed off, though.
Episodes reviewed in past year: Season 1 Episode 1 – Season 1 Episode 7
iZombie is the only new show to be joining our Top 5 this time around. And only one of two new shows added to I Just Hate Everything at all over the past year (the other being the woeful Eye Candy). And yeah, I like iZombie. Rose McIver is a cool chick (and gets to shine a lot more than she did as Tinkerbell in Once Upon a Time. I didn’t realise she was so young), and it’s got just the right amount of CW polish.
But iZombie isn’t the greatest show on the planet. It’s sticking hard to being a crime procedural, and it suffers from having supporting characters kind of pop in and out haphazardly.
What really cements its place in my memory is that it’s from the creative team behind Veronica Mars, which is one of my favourite shows of all time. iZombie is the weaker, younger sibling, but any closeness to Veronica Mars must be cherished.
Could Liv and co take a holiday to Neptune, maybe?
Episodes reviewed in the past year: Season 2 Episode 1 – Season 2 Episode 13 (season finale)
You know, I was almost going to give a place to Eye Candy. Because, if you recall, Eye Candy was banal as hell and barely qualified as an MTV show, let alone an actual TV show (God, I fear for Scream). But after some consideration, I realised that Eye Candy was like a person taking aim at a target on a shooting range, using a pistol without any bullets; it never had a chance of hitting the target, and failed without any flair.
Under the Dome is like a person taking aim at a target on a shooting range with a triple decker, GPS-guided, diamon-tipped rocket launcher, firing, and having the rocket turn around and blow up an orphanage with a visiting petting zoo out the front. Season 2 of Under the Dome was a spectacular fuck-up, and I’ll commemorate it for that.
You might remember that I anointed the first season as not having a single bum episode. Yeah, it wasn’t always the most riveting thing in the world, but it never completely shit the bed. Season 2 was the exact opposite, with every single element buckling and colliding in a symphony of glorious awfulness.
And unlike Glee, it made hate-watching fun. I look forward to even worse in season 3. Because this is I Just Hate Everything, after all. Hate is all you need.