Revenge Season 4 Episode 22 – TV Review

Revenge Plea Emily arrested

“I’m Emily Thorne, dammit. I want some serious resources wasted on me.”

Courtney Love is also back this episode, so ready your vomit bags now.

TL;DR Emily unsuccessfully tries to track down Mason; she is convinced Victoria is alive, though; Hunter finds Victoria but then Courtney kills him; thanks, Margaux; Louise briefly takes a step outside the Stupidity Zone; Charlotte is here but isn’t the worst; Emily’s case isn’t looking so hot.

And with Revenge officially airing its final episode ever next week, she better work fast.

So Emily gets out on bail after being arraigned for the murder of Victoria. She quickly slips the house arrest order to try to track down Mason, but ends up getting arrested. She does get a vague clue that Victoria is alive, though, and tells an ambivalent Hunter her theory of Victoria setting her up and not even dying. Hunter, ever the good dog, investigates and finds Victoria alive, but then Courtney Love, on Margaux’s orders, stabs him in the back of the head. Oh, well. You tried. Meanwhile, Louise goes to Charlotte for permission to enter Victoria’s penthouse (Charlotte is the executor of Victoria’s estate). An apathetic Charlotte allows it, and inside Victoria’s closet Louise finds the black hoodie that Victoria’s garage assailant was wearing. Louise takes it to the police, along with her suspicions that Victoria might have been settin’ bitches up. Margaux later puts Louise in her place, though. Meanwhile, David’s cancer worsens to a six-months-to-live degree; Jack and Nolan provide minor support to Emily’s cause; and Margaux is revealed as the garage assailant.

Aww. I wanted it to be Lydia.

So yes, dear primetime soap lovers, Revenge is dead. But that doesn’t mean it can’t go out on a sudsy high, baby.

Margaux needs to seriously fuck off, though.

God. What a garbage bag she’s become.

 

Why I hate this episode:

I keep having to remind myself why exactly she was so close to Victoria. And I honestly don’t know anymore. The baby was an accident, and it’s dead now, anyway. Pascal was a monster, so any connection through him is meaningless. I just don’t understand why Margaux would go to such lengths to fuck over Emily.

And having an assassin for hire? Good God. Particularly when it’s bloody Courtney Love. Like, holy shit.

And how dare she ruin my dreams of Lydia being the garage assailant.

Louise momentarily frees herself from her obstructive stupidity this episode, but Margaux quickly puts her away when she rightly points out that Nolan was in the penthouse at the same time Louise was, and that he could have planted the hoodie. This is both a demerit point for Margaux, because she ruined Louise’s enlightenment, and for Louise, who really should have considered that herself.

Emily’s insistence that she personally go to Malcolm’s trailer park hideout, thus requiring her to break her house arrest, is stupid. David offers to go, but Emily nixes that because of his deteriorating health. But couldn’t Nolan and/or Jack have gone? Mason couldn’t overpower a bottle of gin, so either would have been fine. And if she was worried, why not send them together?

And of course she gets caught. Because with all the computer magic bullshit she and Nolan have pulled off in the past, a simple ankle monitor is their crucial failure. For fuck’s sake.

Nolan interrupts the epic kiss that Jack and Emily are meant to have after they finally both admit their feelings to each other. If they don’t reprise it to completion in the finale, there will be no justice.

I really don’t care about David’s lymphoma.

Victoria is alive. What a fucking surprise. Goddamn, I was so hoping they wouldn’t pull that punch.

Oh, and the scene where Margaux calls Courtney makes it appear as if she’s going to put the hit out on Louise. Damn, that would have been good.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Louise, for a limited time only, rescues herself this episode. It’s actually awe-inspiring how much better she gets. Before Margaux punts her back down, of course.

She earns her first points by visiting Charlotte (who is still at rehab), which provides us with an entirely un-obnoxious Charlotte scene for once. It turns out Charlotte doesn’t give a shit about Victoria’s death, or her funeral, or her penthouse. And she bitches about how Victoria faked her death before, which is what first twigs to Louise that something may not be right.

Then Louise finds the hoodie in a garment bag in Victoria’s closet, and she develops legitimate suspicions. She takes the hoodie to Hunter, and tells him she thinks Victoria is framing Emily. Hurray!

Emily may be overzealous in her personal pursuit of Mason, but she’s right. He’s not at the trailer when she gets there, but she questions his neighbours and they describe a woman like Victoria who was staying with him. Emily is, naturally, arrested immediately. And in spectacular fashion. But she got her clue.

Nolan and Jack then connect the town car Mason arrived at the trailer park in (they have a photo) to Margaux, so Emily has Jack arrange for a private security pal of his to set Margaux up for shoplifting at an upscale jewellery store. Margaux, being the rude Frenchie she is, goes berserk at the insinuation that she’d steal and ends up striking Jack’s pal (who is posing as a store security guard), which quickly gets her arrested. That’s what you get, bitch.

Things get better when Margaux is put in a cell next to Emily’s. Margaux refuses to talk to her, so Emily just opens up her cell, gets into Margaux’s, and threatens her with a sock filled with batteries and large, steel keys. She tortures the truth (sadly, offscreen) out of Margaux about how Victoria purchased an unclaimed body from a Jersey morgue and had her dental records switched so that the body in Grayson Manor would be identified as Victoria. Ghoulish.

Emily tells Hunter her theory of how it was done, and sure enough, when he investigates the morgue, the body is gone. He tracks the dead woman’s name to a house and finds Victoria stepping out of the bathroom. That bitch.

Courtney then puts a knife through the back of his head, which is pretty juicy. That one-liner is a total groan, though.

Jack and Emily’s admission of feelings is super sweet.

I knew Victoria didn’t have the balls to actually kill herself. The cowardly cunt.

Mason’s trailer is overflowing with bottles of alcohol. Duh.

Oh, and as inept at acting as Courtney Love is, the hamminess of her character is kind of the perfect tribute to Revenge. But I don’t want her back for the finale, okay?

Revenge Plea Courtney Love assassin

She’s gonna get blood in her extensions.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

4 responses to “Revenge Season 4 Episode 22 – TV Review”

  1. Anonymous says :

    This has not been a good year for shows to hate

  2. Anonymous says :

    I don’t understand why Revenge is being cancelled – there were so many plot lines it could have taken (yet PLL is still bullshitting up to the crazy ass Charles dollhouse thing which makes 0 sense and such poor plotline that the teenage audience still cares about wtf). This is one of the best shows I’ve ever watched – is there anything similar you can suggest to fill this gaping hole in my life?

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      PLL is truly the shame of ABC. But those tweens will watch anything.

      I think Revenge is kind of unique in being a shamelessly outrageous primetime soap opera of this generation. I know NBC aired a shortlived knock-off called Deception that I never watched. So that might be up your alley.

      For my vote, though, I’d go with How To Get Away With Murder. It kicks along at a steady pace, and the season finale reveal did surprise me.

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