Revenge Season 4 Episode 16 – TV Review

Revenge Retaliation Louise blue dress

“I stopped counting after the fifth wig.”

Louise’s ever-expanding hair volume aside, things are sailing smoothly on Revenge.

Both Emily and Victoria get to perform takedowns, someone dies, and Margaux is still an impotent little brat.

Just as things should be.

TL;DR Natalie tries to destroy David, but Victoria saves him and gets rid of Natalie; Emily and Hunter thwart Margaux’s attack on Hunter’s ex-wife; Louise kills Lyman when he tries to steal Nolan’s secrets for Margaux; Margaux arranges for Jack to be arrested for drink driving.

Is it possible to rig a breathalyzer? Oh, I just want to know out of curiosity. For a friend.

Margaux is a busy bee this episode. But in typical Margaux fashion, she fails almost universally. Firstly, Hunter immediately goes to Emily about her little blackmail attempt, so he dupes Margaux and heads off with Emily to protect his ex-wife. Margaux does send the bad man (a violent ex-boyfriend) after her, but he’s short work for Emily and Hunter. Meanwhile, Margaux makes a deal with Lyman to steal info from Nolan’s private computer. Lyman pretends to be family friendly with Louise to get access, so she’s pretty pissed off when she finds out his deception. And this being a soap opera, they have a tug-of-war over the flash drive next to a cliff, and Lyman loses. Oops, she did it again (except she actually did it this time). Margaux’s one success this episode is to get Jack arrested for drink driving, and have Carl taken away. Meanwhile, Natalie turns out to have originally been a mistress of Conrad’s, and intends to ruin David’s reputation in tribute to Conrad. By fabricating a story that he’s domestically violent. Luckily, Victoria eavesdrops the shit out of Natalie’s villainous rant (and confession of starving Edward Grayson into changing his will), and kicks that bitch to the curb. And now the inheritance will be all Victoria’s.

But more importantly: what’s going to happen to the incontinent corgis?

I am absolutely in love with how monumentally ineffective Margaux’s scheming is. The only hit she actually lands this episode is the one against Jack.

And the last time she had a guaranteed win against Jack, she lost it. So I’m not predicting profitable things in Margaux’s future with that line of attack.

Keep trying, bitch.

 

Why I hate this episode:

I found Jack’s drink driving arrest to be preposterous. The only way he could have believably blown a 0.14 is if he literally spat a mouthful of vodka into the breathalyzer, or if he was falling down wasted. There’s got to be someone on the police force that isn’t corrupt and would notice. Also, I don’t know how it works in the Hamptons, but where I come from, you can demand a proper, more accurate blood test following a failed breathalyzer. There is no way this will stick. You suck, Margaux.

Lyman turned out to be in league with Margaux, but not in bed with Margaux. It’s like he’s not even listening to my suggestions.

Hunter very easily outplays Margaux’s blackmail attempt by going straight to Emily and Nolan. Margaux apparently didn’t predict this at all. What the fuck, bitch? You know that Hunter knows who Emily really is. Did you think he wasn’t going to seek help from his ninja super spy girlfriend and her ultra hacker buddy?

April, Hunter’s ex-wife, is annoying. Hunter tells Emily that she called off their marriage because Hunter wasn’t a very exciting husband. Later, she got involved with Mr Bad Man, and came crying to Hunter’s doorstep. Hunter omits that he then, because Hunter is a cop, remember, launched a raid on Mr Bad Man after hearing from April about how he was into illegal shit. This led to April getting blamed for blabbing, and being forced to go into witness protection. April makes it clear she is still really pissed off about this. Bitch, you came crying to your cop ex-husband’s doorstep in fear for your safety. What did you think he was going to do?

Lyman’s death is arbitrary. And Louise is concealing it from Nolan for now. She says that Lyman is just resting in his room at the house. Was that just a lie, or did Louise actually lug his body up from the rocky shore? Because her wig may be big, but her muscles are not.

Natalie’s a fucking idiot for going after David. She’s just gotten to the top of the nouveau riche mountain, and she pisses it all away in some stupid revenge in Conrad’s honour or some shit. At least wait until the ink is dry on the will before confessing to how you starved Edward into signing it. Jesus.

And is that the end of Natalie, already? I can’t imagine she’d risk doing anything else with Victoria’s audio recording of her no-uncertain-terms confession hanging over her head. Wasteful.

Nolan and Louise have a bizarre subplot this episode wherein they seem to be trying to be a real married couple. They bicker over trust and stuff, and Nolan even hints that he could be attracted to her. What the actual fuck? This is a sham wedding. Live it up, you two.

Oh, and to find out where April is, Hunter video records a meeting with Margaux where she shows him spy footage of April at work at a bar. Nolan does computer magic on this footage to single out a particular wine bottle, and then goes into the retard zone: he uses some hologram machine to make a holographic projection of the wine bottle for closer examination. There is absolutely no reason why this had to be included. Did they have some unused CGI budget they had to burn off?

 

But it’s not all bad:

The takedown of Mr Bad Man is as routine as possible, but Emily gets to have some fun by posing as April when he comes knocking. She and Hunter then decisively kick his arse, and local cops arrest him. And, in a rare moment of not being a shithead, April actually thanks them. Halleloo.

Victoria’s one-hit-kill of Natalie is also a delight. I caught onto Natalie’s game pretty quick when she happened to bump herself in the bathroom while getting ready for the Fourth of July party (she’s throwing it this year, btw). Then she made a glaring flub in her arrival interview where she blatantly spelled out that she was scared of David. And, of course, she takes him alone into a room later, tears her own dress, and starts fake yelling that he’s attacking her. Thank goodness the only person at the party who cared enough to eavesdrop on her was Victoria. Seriously, nobody else comes running. That’s what you get, Natalie.

Victoria makes sure to do what every character in this show should probably get in the habit of doing: recording the conversation. Natalie can’t come back from that.

Natalie’s motive was to pay tribute to Conrad’s character assassination of David by doing it again in the present. David had discovered Natalie was an old mistress of Conrad’s when he found her watch, which was nearly identical to a watch Conrad had given Lydia (Natalie isn’t a huge fan of Lydia, if you were wondering. Where is Lydia, anyway?). Conrad had told Natalie all his fortune would be hers. When that didn’t happen, she got her hooks into Edward. You can’t keep a good golddigger down.

Edward had wanted to leave his money to Victoria, but Natalie literally starved the man into signing the revised will. I appreciate the ruthlessness.

Margaux’s seemingly endless procession of defeats makes this episode shine. The poor girl just can’t get this revenge thing right, can she? The crowning moment is her little gloat fest near the end of the episode with her black ops guy: she’s smugly confident that Lyman will be turning up any minute with the dirt from Nolan’s computer. Oh, honey. He’s dead at the bottom of a cliff. You fail. Again.

Best line of the episode goes to Nolan, who accurately outlines what we all know about Louise:
Jack: “This is still a fake marriage, right?”
Nolan: “Ahh, it’s tricky.”
Jack: “Are you attracted to her?”
Nolan: “Jack, have you seen her?”
No sprawling mass of weave or weird, electric blue dress can dampen her sex appeal.

Second best line goes to Victoria, who appreciates David’s gratitude for taking out Natalie: “Well, I guess there’s a silver lining to not killing me after all.” Don’t push it, Viccy.

Victoria says she’ll use the inheritance money to fund the Daniel Grayson Foundation. See, Margaux? Even she knows better than to aimlessly pursue Emily these days.

Nolan gets Jack a job bar tending at the yacht club. Team FagStag is still strong.

Jack has a cute nanny who I suspect might be forming as his new love interest. Well, if Emily’s gonna turn it down, someone’s gonna snag that D, baby.

Lyman’s death is some quality slapstick.

Oh, and I wasn’t kidding about the hologram projector. It’s so dumb it almost transcends the realm of hate into the realm of pure wonderment at how it got included.

Revenge Retaliation wine hologram stupid

In reality, I actually live about a thirty second drive away from a bottle shop. But unlike Jack, I don’t drink and drive.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

6 responses to “Revenge Season 4 Episode 16 – TV Review”

  1. Jessica says :

    Your thoughts about the hologram cracked me up! I wasn’t paying much attention at that part and didn’t realize that was the entire reason for it. ??? Seriously, how did that make the cut?

    Also, how did Margaux get SO evil? She used to have some heart, right? But now she’s putting innocent ex-wives at risk for her purposes. And poor Carl–how is she that cold? Are they going to blame pregnancy hormones? (PS Will she ever look pregnant?)

    I don’t know about her character, but I wouldn’t mind April staying just because she’s played by Chuck’s sister Ellie! I miss her.

  2. Anonymous says :

    I was sure Lyman would be sneaky and steal her husband đŸ˜¦

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