The Vampire Diaries Season 6 Episode 16 – TV Review
Caroline isn’t content to be fabulous and cruel all on her lonesome.
Not that she does a bad job of being fabulous and cruel on her lonesome.
She might even be giving Kai a run for his money as this season’s replacement Katherine.
TL;DR The gang interferes with Caroline too much, and she tries to kill Sarah in retaliation; Stefan switches his own humanity off to save Sarah’s life; Bonnie is royally traumatised from ghost world and her encounters with Kai; Damon learns his Mummy was a vampire back in the day, and a beast of a ripper, too.
So now we know where Stefan gets it from.
So our major plot sees Caroline’s rebirth as an awesome bitch without her humanity. Compared to Elena and Stefan, she’s actually in control of her killer instincts (she has still retained her logic), but that doesn’t stop the gang (Bonnie tags along) from trying to snap her out of it. Stefan pushes a little too hard (and violates an earlier agreement to back the fuck off), so Caroline abducts Liam and compels him to perform amateur surgery on Sarah Salvatore. Elena is a useless trash bag in the rescue operation, so Stefan complies with Caroline’s order to switch his humanity off to save Sarah’s life. Good work, team. Meanwhile, Bonnie finds it hard to adjust following her horrible experiences. This doesn’t work out well for Damon, who Kai orders to arrange a meeting with Bonnie so he can apologise. In exchange for the truth about Mummy, and the offer of help to let Damon go see her. The meeting goes poorly, but Kai does inform Damon that Mummy didn’t die back in the day: she actually became a vampire, and cut a swath of ripperly destruction across Europe before the Gemini coven captured her in New York in 1903. Damon is crushed. And Enzo’s plan to entice Sarah to the dark side is carpet bombed when Caroline fucks her up, instead.
It was a bad plan, anyway. Good riddance.
I’m going to take a moment here to bask in the bitchy, 90s rave styling glory of Caroline this episode. God, she’s mean.
And that hair and makeup at the party?
Let her never take it off.
Why I hate this episode:
It’s a good thing Caroline is so wonderfully evil now, because Kai continues to be a roaring disappointment. He spends the episode trying to convene a meeting with Bonnie so he can apologise to her. Yuck. He’s also grown some mild chin fluff, which only makes him look unkempt and pathetic. Dammit, I miss his evil queen persona.
The true villain of the episode is Stefan. Caroline makes a pact with Elena and Bonnie, and, by extension, Stefan, not to get in her way for one year of humanity-free fun. In exchange, she won’t murder anyone. Naturally, Stefan tries to shove his “come back to the light” bullshit down Caroline’s throat hard and fast at the earliest opportunity, which results in Caroline trying to kill Sarah, which results in Stefan having to shut his own humanity switch off. Even Elena, Lord of Retardation, gives Stefan a bit of a verbal slap for being so keen on bringing Caroline’s emotions back, because Elena can see that she’s sticking true to her promise (up until that point). When Elena is telling you your plan is bad, then you’re in trouble, baby.
But this is an episode of The Vampire Diaries, so Elena doesn’t escape her own expected pitfalls. The reason Stefan has to switch off his humanity is because Elena can’t find Liam and Sarah in time to prevent Sarah’s killing. Literally seconds after he does it, Elena finds them. Fuck you, Elena. So useless.
Enzo turns down a sexual advance from Caroline because he doesn’t want to fuck her while she isn’t herself. God. Damn. It.
I don’t care at all about Bonnie’s little pity party over her multiple attacks from Kai while she was in ghost world. Every vampire character in this show has been stabbed, slashed, neck-snapped, exploded, etc several dozen times, and they’re not making a big fucking deal about it. You think being stuck in ghost world alone for a few weeks is hard? Try getting locked in a submerged safe for three months. That’s hard.
Kai needs to hurry up with his revenge on the Gemini coven, already. Sheesh.
Elena unnecessarily breaks Liam’s arms to stop him from further harming Sarah. Rude.
Oh, and why doesn’t Stefan just switch his humanity back on after Elena confirms Liam and Sarah are safe? He’s only had it off for a few minutes. Is the feeling really that good that he can’t see even a shred of logic anymore?
But it’s not all bad:
I thought Caroline alone would be fun, but imagine that nastiness she and Ripper Stefan could get up to. And I presume they’re going to have fantastic, angry sex.
Caroline’s 90s makeover is unbelievably good. Drool worthy. Like, it’s just magic.
And Caroline is fantastic with her humanity off. She’s giving me life. The only way this could get better is if Kai could somehow shed his Luke attributes and team up with her. Wait, no. This could get even better if Katherine would just come back. Yeah, that’d do it. And Katherine was always a bit of a fan of Caroline’s. Can you imagine what they could be like as a duo?
Caroline is a boss once she begins enacting her revenge against Stefan. She may get turned down by Enzo, but she makes sure to steal his phone, which has Sarah’s number. Then she abducts her and Liam and takes them to a secluded part of the hospital, giving Liam compulsion instructions to cut up Sarah. And he does. He starts with her spleen, before making inroads at taking out her heart. All at Caroline’s deliciously cruel instruction. It’s divine.
Stefan tries to physically overpower Caroline, but she beats him up. Natch.
Caroline does demonstrate her restraint early in the episode. She runs into Liam at the bar, and they make out a bit before she starts eating him. She retells this tale to Elena, who is furious when she thinks she killed him. But Caroline reassures her: she couldn’t be bothered with the hassle of dealing with his body, so she just gave him some blood and compelled him on his way. Smooth, baby.
Caroline also gets second best line of the episode upon meeting Liam in that early scene: “Liam: the boy I totally forgot existed.” Didn’t we all?
She later gets best line of the episode during her monologue to Stefan and Elena about her plans for Sarah. Elena tries to convince her not to do it, because murdering someone will haunt her forever, and points to her own experience as proof. Caroline speaks for all of us: “I compelled a student to perform surgery on Stefan’s niece, and you found a way to make this about you?” Right on.
I can’t believe Mummy Salvatore’s European body count was in the region of three thousand. Cool.
Damon is upset and emotional over the truth about his mother, if you care about that kind of thing. I was too distracted by the Caroline, myself.
Bonnie dumps Jeremy via voicemail message. I lol’d.
Bonnie’s memory flashes to Kai’s attacks on her were like a Kai’s Greatest Hits. Ah, good times.
Sarah tries her hand at stalking Enzo this episode, and he congenially answers her enquiries about his mysterious abilities by revealing he’s a vampire. She is surprisingly nonplussed by this, much to Enzo’s frustration. Caroline later says that Stefan likely compelled Sarah to be disinterested in vampires. Clever.
Kai confirms that there are only two prison worlds: his, and Mummy Salvatore’s. Just for clarification’s sake.
Caroline makes margaritas for her and Stefan. Elena is too much of a party pooper to appreciate her hospitality, though.
Oh, and please let the TVD hair and makeup department take note of Caroline’s look this episode and keep it up. Even if only while she’s evil.