Glee Season 6 Episode 9 – TV Review

Glee Child Star Spencer Kitty

The first perfect moment on Glee in a long time.

Don’t let this split second of euphoria fool you. This is a Jane-heavy episode.

Yes, the apocalypse finally came.

TL;DR Male Twin wants to date Jane, but Female Twin is a controlling cockblocker; Spencer and Roderick help each other become better people; the New Directions get two new recruits; Will and Sue draw battle lines for what they say will be their greatest war yet; Kurt isn’t in this episode.

Goddammit, Jane. You had to ruin this for me, didn’t you?

The major plot of the episode has to do with Sue’s mission to win the US Principal of the Year award. She needs approval from the Superintendent, and he forces Sue to molly coddle is thirteen year-old nephew to get it. His name’s Myron, and he’s a flaming attention whore who demands the glee club help him prepare for a performance he’ll be giving at his bar mitzvah. And he wants Sue, Will, Rachel, Sam, and Bieste to be his backup dancers. Things end up going surprisingly well, and Myron is transferred to McKinley so he can join the glee club. Meanwhile, Male Twin wants to date Jane (he isn’t gay?), but Female Twin acts like his mother and won’t let him. He eventually gets her to come around, though. Meanwhile, Spencer helps Roderick improve his fitness confidence in exchange for a good word to Roderick’s friend, Alistair, who Spencer has the hots for. There’s mild turmoil, but it all ends up peachy. Alistair also joins the glee club. And throughout the Myron ordeal, Sue and Will bitch at each other, and promise to go to war once more.

It wouldn’t be Glee without some arbitrary Sue antagonism.

You know, aside from Jane getting some attention, this episode isn’t that bad.

And I think it owes that mainly to the exclusion of the original glee kids from any of the major plotlines. Kurt isn’t here at all; there are no visiting alumni; and Rachel and Sam mostly run background legwork for Myron.

Yeah, Roderick, Spencer, and Male Twin’s subplots aren’t anything groundbreaking. But at least they’re given some time to exist without having the graduated, old glee clubbers coming in to shove them out of focus.

Except Jane. Jane deserves no focus.

 

Why I hate this episode:

No, thanks, Jane. You’re not needed.

In a surprise twist on what you assume Glee would go for, both Male Twin and Myron are apparently not gay. I had picked Male Twin off the bat, but his interest in Jane appears to be genuine. And Myron couldn’t be more flaming if he actually doused himself in gasoline and set himself alight, but later on he tries to cop a feel of Kitty. I’m confused.

And we all know bisexuals aren’t actually a thing, so don’t give me any of that.

Roderick and Spencer’s partnership doesn’t take long to fray, but their supposedly equal barbs of hate at each other are not very equal at all. Spencer accurately points out that Roderick is a quitter, could harm glee club choreography, and doesn’t believe in himself. Roderick’s only insult against Spencer is to call him a dick. I like to call people dicks as much as the next bitter hag, but it’s hardly the personalised insults Spencer offered you, Roderick. You’re just not pulling your weight.

During their fight, Roderick plays the “my whole life” card about the bullying he’s received for being fat. Oh, shut up. Could you be any more hyperbolic? Being hyperbolic is so not okay with me.

Before Myron’s performance at the bar mitzvah, a rope pulley malfunctions backstage. Instead of doing the smart thing and climbing the rope himself (as ordered by Sue) to fix it, Spencer takes the opportunity to give Roderick the “I believe in you” speech. And Roderick, as this is Glee, defies all laws of physics and pulls it off with aplomb. Ugh.

Alistair is a ukulele-playing, beanie-wearing hippie hipster. His hair is glorious, but that’s about all he’s got going for him. Spencer is far too good for you.

Oh, and Myron’s performance of Destiny Child’s Lose My Breath is horrendous. I think Glee intended it to come across that way, but it’s still a pain to endure. This is confounded later when he contradictorily crushes Ariana Grande’s Break Free. Maybe he’s got a voice that is only good for belting?

 

But it’s not all bad:

Yeah, it’s edited six ways from Sunday, but Myron does nail that Break Free chorus, honey. Snaps for Myron.

The reactions to his Lose My Breath performance are mostly horror or incredulity, but Kitty seems to like it.

Once Myron has transferred to McKinley, he bribes Kitty into being his friend. Kitty’s on a roll in the queeny friends department.

The stars of the episode are the stars who aren’t in the episode. It’s amazing what a breath of fresh air it is not to have any of the glee alumni haunting us for once. Rachel is obligatory, but she doesn’t intrude on the episode in any negative way. In fact, she leads the first verse of Breaking Free, and is quite agreeable.

Jane, Roderick, and Spencer do Uptown Funk at the bar mitzvah. It’s more chart trash, but I’ll give it a pass because, as a usual hater of Bruno Mars, I actually like that song. Burn me if you must, but I’ll own it.

Male Twin does a solo of Queen’s I Want To Break Free. He’s not terrible. The tween girls seem to eat that shit up, at least. And the song is what convinces Female Twin to ease up on her controlling grip.

Spencer’s infatuation with Alistair is cute, even if Alistair himself mostly isn’t. For one, it’s not the universe-crashing soap opera that was Kurt and Blaine’s early days. I don’t think I could handle that fucking torture again.

The Superintendent is the guy who Sue had a crush on that one time, but mistook her for a man. Which Will happily points out during their argument.

After her spat with Will, Sue returns to her Hurt Locker to formulate her newest and deadliest plan against the glee club. At least the Kurt/Blaine shrine doesn’t make an appearance.

Jane may get featured, but she isn’t the star of her subplot. So take that, Jane. And of the three Uptown Funk singers, she is the least featured. I approve.

Kitty gets best line of the episode when the rope pulley emergency happens: “Can’t we just get a ladder? There’s gotta be one in here somewhere.” She is sadly ignored.

Oh, and possible heterosexuality aside, Myron is a fierce, rich bitch with a Superintendent uncle around his little finger, Sue at his mercy, and Kitty at his side. He’s winning, hunty.

Glee Child Star Myron Break Free

Is anyone else excited that Drag Race is back on this week?

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

6 responses to “Glee Season 6 Episode 9 – TV Review”

  1. Anonymous says :

    haha what, possible heterosexuality?

  2. Lydia says :

    My question is how did they manage to get a 13-year old into high school?

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: