Eye Candy Season 1 Episode 6 – TV Review

Eye Candy ICU brain surgery

Actually, a bit of botched brain surgery is seeming like a reasonable alternative right about now.

Yes, it’s another filler episode already.

At least Mr Stalker gets a look-in this time.

TL;DR Lindy and Tommy investigate a hospital hacking; the perpetrator turns out to be a disgruntled patient; nothing of value is gained.

Mr Stalker does act as a literal Deus Ex Machina to save the day, though. What a trooper.

The episode begins with a teenage boy’s brain surgery going south when the room’s nitrous oxide regulator gets hacked, putting all the surgical staff to sleep. Tommy is asked by the doctor, an old friend, to solve the case, and brings in Lindy to help. She goes off script, though, and poses as a patient to get access to the ICU (also the episode’s title). She meets a friendly blonde girl who is super dying, and her belligerent, British boyfriend. After clearing a sketchy nurse as a red herring, Lindy, with help from Tommy and Fat Coworker, discovers that Friendly Blonde is actually the hacker. She was pissed off that her heart medication shredded her liver, which then made her ineligible for a heart transplant and sentenced her to death. The prior hacks were beta testing for the virus she had concocted, and its successful implementation malfunctions her own life support. Auto-euthanasia rocks. However, the virus then fucks up every machine in the hospital, and Lindy and co have to race to fix it. They extract the kill switch from Friendly Blonde’s corpse (she ate it), but it’s only with Mr Stalker’s help that Lindy is able to enter the password to activate it. The only subplot involves Aussie Guy cancelling a date with Lindy, and then later sending her an apology present.

Just like the last filler episode, Black Friend and Gay Friend do not appear. Black Cop pops his head in a few times, though.

This filler episode wasn’t as stupid as the last one, so that was a welcome improvement. But it’s still a fucking filler episode. The second one, in a season of only ten episodes.

If there were any other subplots being pushed forward at all, maybe it could work. But they’re not.

We’re back to boring procedural land.

 

Why I hate this episode:

You could make a case for the Lindy/Tommy romance subplot getting a bump, as the episode ends in a similar way to episode 4: with a tangential character making Tommy appreciate Lindy. But Lindy and Tommy have incremental progress every episode, anyway. We don’t need to throw the Mr Stalker plot away to give them time to flirt.

If Friendly Blonde and British Boyfriend (he helped make the virus. He just didn’t expect it to be used) are such genius virus makers, you’d think they could have stopped it from infecting the entire hospital. You went from mercy killers to terrorists, bitches.

Also, Friendly Blonde’s “beta testing” was to knock out the entire surgical staff on an open brain surgery on a teenager? What the fucking fuck, cunt? Now you’ve gone from terrorist to pscychopath. Jesus Christ, that’s callous.

Lindy and Tommy need to cut Friendly Blonde open to retrieve the kill switch, but Eye Candy bitches out on this twice. Firstly, by having Black Cop bring in Tommy’s doctor friend to do it, instead. And then we don’t even get to see it. Oh, so they’ll show us open brain surgery, but a little organ rummaging is too much?

Oh, and Mr Stalker just hands Lindy the password for the kill switch. That’s some good hero-ing there, Lindy.

 

But it’s not all bad:

At least Lindy is mature and reasonable enough to accept Mr Stalker’s help when he offers it. Maybe these two could have a future together, after all. Unless he considers post-Nickelodeon careers in his perfection criteria.

Lindy and Doctor Friend have typical animosity towards each other: Lindy wants Tommy, and Doctor Friend had Tommy, and seems to want him, again. So things are looking up for Tommy.

In order to get into the ICU, Lindy has Fat Coworker hack her hospital test results with a serious illness. He gives her neurosyphilis. I lol’d.

As part of further testing, Lindy is prepped for a lumbar puncture. Tommy saves her just in time by posing as her fiancĂ©. When she is indignant about his veiled rage for her going off-script, he changes his mind and tells them to continue with the procedure. It’s what she deserves.

Sadly, Doctor Friend interrupts and stops it. But a little bit of hate-flirting goes a long way, you know?

The brain surgery kid ends up okay. Which downgrades Friendly Blonde from psychopath back to terrorist. Is that gonna help your afterlife prospects, honey?

Oh, and Tommy tries to perform the slicing open of Friendly Blonde himself, but is too squeamish. Lindy offers to do it together with him, and they both hold the scalpel (up until Doctor Friend arrives to relieve them). Aww.

Eye Candy ICU autopsy

Well, if your definition of “romantic” is “slightly less traumatising.”

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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