Glee Season 6 Episode 5 – TV Review

Glee The Hurt Locker Part 2 Sue Billy doll Saw

Glee: queen of oldmeme.

Sam’s retarded hypnosis from last episode wasn’t enough, so it’s time to break out the Saw parody hostage situation.

Yet this episode is somehow far more bearable than last week’s jaw-dropping shitfest.

Would it be too much to hope that last week really was as bad as Glee can get, and everything from here on will be mildly better?

TL;DR New Directions wins the Invitational, along with some new recruits; Kurt and Blaine may still have some spark together; Jane is the only New Directions member, including the new recruits from this episode, to not lead one of the Invitational songs.

Glee loves its gay suffrage, but evidently doesn’t give a shit about women or racism. You heard it here first.

So this is the second part of last week’s episode, which means its time for the Warblers and New Directions to break out their Invitationals performances. The Warblers are their typical, dull selves. Sue gives Rachel some extra time to drum up more members for the New Directions, which leads her on a quest to grovel to Kitty to come back into the fold. Kitty eventually agrees because she loves performing, and she also breaks into Sue’s computer to find a list of songs she’s emotionally vulnerable to. The New Directions, also joined by Gay Footballer at Sam’s urging, win the Invitational because Sue is apparently easy to emotionally manipulate through music. After all these seasons? Who knew? Meanwhile, Sue traps Kurt and Blaine inside a fake lift at McKinley and uses a Billy doll in her image to force them to kiss to earn their release. They do. Minor subplots include: Rachel turning down Sam’s hypnosis-induced advances; the Vocal Adrenaline lead performer blaming Will for caring more about McKinley than them; and Kurt actually dating Harry Hamlin now.

Well well, he took my advice. And my man. Bitch.

I don’t know if I was just in a good mood the day I watched this, or if my expectations were simply so low after The Hurt Locker Part 1’s absymal effort, but this episode really wasn’t that bad.

The songs were innocuous. Kitty’s return was welcome.

And as absurd as Kurt and Blaine’s Saw parody subplot was, it was oddly light on the melodrama.

I made it through unscathed, is what I’m saying.

 

Why I hate this episode:

The Saw parody is so far from topical it’s hard to believe they kept it in. Glee’s target audience probably weren’t even born when the first Saw movie came out.

It also makes absolutely no sense, as the Sue doll, presumably voiced by Sue, has scenes where it talks while Sue is concurrently hosting the Invitational, and in no way could be voicing it at that time. Kurt and Blaine opine that maybe Becky could be controlling it, but we all know she couldn’t give enough of a shit about this to participate.

Gay Footballer’s situation confused me. When Sam passionately implores him to join the glee club, Gay Footaballer’s all like “I love singing and shit, but I don’t want people to think I’m gay.” I’m sorry, I was under the impression that his sexuality was known by everyone. But in this episode, he talks as if being known as gay would utterly destroy his life.

Unless he means he just doesn’t want to be seen as a femme, in which case he can go back to Grindr with that self-hating bullshit.

Kurt decides, while on another dinner outing with Harry, that he is indeed interested in dating him, and that they are in fact on a date. I haven’t got anything against Harry Hamlin, present day or otherwise, but that’s a bizarre turnaround for Kurt. Only one episode ago he was all “Ew, old people.”

Kurt and Blaine both declare that their forced kiss in the elevator meant nothing, but both are clearly in denial. Yawn.

Kitty says one of the reasons she refuses to return to glee club is because all her old glee club friends deserted her. Well, they didn’t, honey. Most of them graduated, and the rest were actively sent away by Sue. Get your facts straight.

The Warblers’ performance is low effort, even for them.

The deaf glee club coach of yester-season makes a cameo as a police officer. What?

Oh, and does Sue not realise that the New Directions are doing songs that perfectly appeal to her? I can’t believe Sue would be so unobservant of the fact. So unobservant to vote New Directions to win, even. Pfft.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Vocal Adrenaline’s defeat leads their lead performer to privately blast William for caring too much about McKinley. Which he does. With any luck, this will snowball into Will losing his Carmel job, coming back to McKinley, somehow enrolling all the original New Directions back into high school, and just rehashing the good parts of the first season. It’s all Glee has left to offer, really.

Sue declares that the Invitational theme will be retro songs only. Which means that, for once, we get a break from recent chart hits that are only included to make iTunes sales. So that’s refreshing.

The highlight of the episode is Rachel’s successful recruitment of Kitty back to the New Directions. Kitty is initially not interested, citing both her feelings of abandonment, and the fact that she doesn’t trust Rachel, who she correctly assumes will ditch McKinley at the first chance for a real showbiz job again.

Rachel does manage to bring her around, and now we’ve got the only Generation 2.0 glee clubber who anyone cared about back on side.

In order to get access to Sue’s emotional songs, Kitty bribes Becky with off-brand, foreign versions of popular sweets in exchange for Sue’s passwords. I lol’d a little.

I love the fact that every member of the New Directions except Jane got to lead one of the Invitational songs. Kitty and Gay Footballer take the lead on Roxette’s It Must Have Been Love; Roderick belts out George Michael’s Father Figure; and the twins completely fail on Air Supply’s All Out Of Love. Wow Jane, it looks like you’ve joined a glee club (and moved schools. Again) that really respects and includes you.

There are a couple of throwaway gags that show why Sue’s so attached to these songs. With Father Figure, she relates a string of failed Republican presidential candidates to the song, which makes her upset. And my favourite, All Out Of Love, sees flashbacks of Sue failing auditions for Princess Leia, the hooker in Pretty Woman, and Tony Montana in Scarface. It’s dumb, but fun. The way a good Glee, throwaway (and I stress throwaway. Because the hypnotism bullshit wasn’t throwaway) should be.

Best line of the episode goes to Sam. Rachel is shocked by his hypnotism-induced love for her, and mentions that he told her he was still in love with Mercedes. Suddenly out of the hypnotism’s grip, Sam gloriously replies: “That old hag?” Yes, that’s the one.

The Warblers, as one would hope, come last in the Invitational.

Oh, and in what I assume is a case of past experience seniority, Kitty is apparently the leader of the New Directions. Good.

Glee The Hurt Locker Part 2 Kitty trophy

A hollow victory is still a victory.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

9 responses to “Glee Season 6 Episode 5 – TV Review”

  1. Anonymous says :

    Didn’t Jane have a solo part in that song with the twins?

  2. Lydia says :

    I still find it hard to believe that no one was suspicious of that totally not real elevator. I honestly hated the saw bits. I think I might have hated it more than the hypnotism. IKR.
    It’s just as though someone popped some hallucinogenics before writing these two episodes.

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