Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 17 – TV Review

PLL The Bin of Sin Jason kisses Ashley

Do we finally have proof that God exists?

Pfft, of course it doesn’t mean that. Ashley totally fucks Jason off and prepares to settle into her life of ab-less, middle-aged mediocrity.

I’m pretty sure Jason’s wealthier, too. So I’m not seeing what the appeal of Ted is, to be honest. Let him go back to Ella.

TL;DR A is still one step ahead; Roma discovers the barrel from last episode, which may or may not have Mona’s body in it; Ezra finds out about Aria’s letter and is super hurt about it; Cater Girl is indeed looking to mack on her high school coworker; Toby continues to be the worst inside man on the police force ever.

At least Johnny isn’t in this episode.

Plots, for you:

Hanna takes over from Spencer as Caleb’s partner in spying (at Caleb’s reluctance), as she forces him to accompany her back to the storage facility. The room has been cleared out except for the barrel, and Roma and Toby also show up and find it. Hanna later bitches at Spencer because she thinks she tipped Toby off about the storage find.

Spencer bitches back at Hanna that she didn’t tell Toby shit because, again, nobody on this show realises how an inside man is supposed to operate. Including Toby, who isn’t subtle at all about telling Roma he thinks Holbrook is crooked (which gets him a swift reprimand from Roma). Spencer, along with Aria and Emily, does manage to retrieve Mona’s laptop, though. She almost gets murdered in the process, but that’s just an average Tuesday for these girls.

Aria comes clean to Ezra about the letter, giving it to him to read and everything. He’s initially cool about it, but then is way upset, and is worried Aria’s life will continue to be hampered by their relationship (you don’t say?), and thinks they should break up out of practicality. It’s a fucking miracle.

And Emily gets the flirts from Cater Girl, our replacement Ezra. Is adults dating high schoolers, like, a thing in America? Because that shit’s gross where I come from.

Oh, and Ashley puts the khybosh on her and Jason’s relationship.

And they don’t even get a farewell bang.

Nothing particularly fresh or exciting happens this episode. A suprises exactly no-one when they’re quicker than our heroes at clearing out the storage locker.

The freezer room peril that the other three Liars endure at the abandoned factory is more of the same. Is this supposed to shock or worry anyone anymore?

Personally, I’d love to see A’s reaction if they actually did manage to kill the Liars with one of these gambits. Do they even have a contingency plan for that?

 

Why I hate this episode:

Emily’s, the only one of the three not to be locked in the freezer room, solution to the problem is to first bash the control console in. When that neither unlocks the doors nor stops the freezing gas, she then bashes the supply pipe to release the gas. This, for some reason, opens the doors. Firstly, Emily could have just turned off the gas using the supplied valve control. Secondly, the valve wouldn’t have unlocked the doors. The bashed-in console should have done that. So why didn’t these bitches just open the doors?

Despite my joy at Ezra’s decision following the letter revelation, is he really that surprised? Did this really bring anything to light he didn’t already know? “Like, oh em gee, dating my student might have deprived her of some opportunities and caused endless havoc and upheaval in her professional and social lives? Gasp!” Really?

Cater Girl is fucking disgusting. Emily is a high school student. Just, no. Yuck.

One of their scenes involves flirting while Emily takes over stirring a simmering frying pan of apples. Emily gets distracted for about 0.5 seconds, and the apples fucking catch fire. Just to ram home how bad Emily is at cooking, and give Cater Girl a chance to be cool with her. Are these apples made of gunpowder? What the fuck?

Oh, Ashley. Wrong move, baby.

Roma is right when she smacks down Toby for trying to go all Internal Affairs after having been a cop for such a short time, but her absolute refusal to believe a Rosewood cop could be crooked is pretty bizarre considering the whole Wilden thing.

Aria busts out a Let’s Split Up, Gang while she, Spencer, and Emily are exploring the factory for the laptop. Dumbass.

Hanna’s accusation to Spencer of her telling Toby about the unit (she’s worried that Roma witnessing her there will lead to suspicion) would be pretty emotional and gut-wrenching if it wasn’t for the fact that the other Liars warned Hanna not to mess with the storage unit (which, rightly, is what Spencer’s response is). Hanna needs to zip it.

Oh, and Hanna ends the episode by telling Caleb she’ll martyr herself at the hands of the law if it comes to it, in order to protect him. He, disappointingly, refuses her orders to stay away from her. Dude, Spencer is ready and waiting. She has yet another fight with Toby this episode about police rules getting between them. Dump the moody deadweight and go spend a night in Spencer’s bed.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Spencer does seem to care about Hanna forcing Caleb to join her on their jaunt to the storage unit, which puts him in danger. The Spencer/Caleb ship is sailing slowly, but it’s sailing.

Roma has not only the barrel in her possession now, but she also finds a drop of blood on the floor of the now-empty storage unit. She mentions to Toby that if either the blood or the remains in the barrel belong to Mona, the Liars are in trouble. Good. Let’s get this plot moving.

Hanna is still concerned that A is pointing all the arrows in her direction, but for what it’s worth, Caleb manages to corrupt the storage facility’s data to obscure the unit being rented in her name. And, contrary to Hanna’s assumption, it wasn’t rented in her name in retaliation for her bitchy prison visit: it was rented the day before Mona was murdered. You know what? It’s about time Spencer had a break from police scrutiny. If only A had targeted Aria, instead.

Aria and Spencer might have almost frozen to death, but they did manage to get Mona’s laptop back. When they found it, it was playing video footage of a conversation Hanna and Caleb had earlier this episode (wherein she coerces him into helping her raid the storage unit). So A is still watching. As always.

Jason tries one last kiss on Ashley to salvage their sex. The crazy bitch turns him down, but she still isn’t sure if she’ll accept Ted’s proposal. My advice to Jason would be to just keep showing up wherever Ashley is and don’t wear a shirt, and she’ll come around.

Aria tells Ezra she doesn’t want to break up, but at least he’s put it on the table.

Cater Girl wasn’t serious about liking Ezra’s butt. She only said it to gauge Emily’s reaction to discern if she was gay or not. So she may be a cradle-snatching, almost-paedophile. But she’s not a boss-fucker.

Oh, and Hanna is a reckless doofus who endangers her boyfriend, but the girl does know how to commit to a plan.

PLL The Bin of Sin Caleb Hanna barrel

And framing prevents us from seeing inside when Roma opens it, too. Goddammit.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

6 responses to “Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 17 – TV Review”

  1. Anonymous says :

    Ew Talia (Cradle-Snatcher).

    What is Toby doing, like actually. He’s so useless.

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