Eye Candy Season 1 Episode 2 – TV Review

Eye Candy BRB Aussie Guy knife

Especially if they’re Australian.

Lindy’s detective action plan: put myself in close, often isolated, poximity to a violent serial killer and…umm…oh, shit. I didn’t think that far ahead.

Call the cops, I guess?

TL;DR Lindy narrows down her suspect pool, while narrowly avoiding semi-exciting danger; Cop 2 is still looking out for her; Mr Stalker proves himself to be magic and omniscient; there is a lot of promoted music.

Don’t forget, it’s MTV.

So apparently I was wrong to think Horny Guy, Lindy’s whoreish dating suspect from last episode, had been ruled out, because this episode focuses on Lindy’s continuing investigation into him and Aussie Guy. Cop 2, who I’m name upgrading to Tommy because calling him Cop 2 is just as annoying to me as it is to you, persists in staying on Lindy’s case to protect her. Tommy’s sergeant also insists on joining forces with Lindy in an official capacity to find Mr Stalker. Aussie Guy shows some creepy qualities early on (showing up to Lindy’s place unexpectedly), but evidence points in Horny Guy’s direction, so they launch a sting on him. Naturally, it goes awry, with Lindy out-hacking an automatic car to save hers and Tommy’s lives. The episode ends with Lindy receiving a video from the real killer of Horny Guy, who had been presumed guilty, getting kidnapped. Minor subplots include: oh, there aren’t any.


Eye Candy may be as empty as my head, but I think I kind of appreciate how simple and focused it is. Compared to the ceaseless, sprawling mess of PLL, the at-times laughably implausible The Following, and the too-artsy-for-its-own-dignity Hannibal, this is a welcome reprieve.

Brain off. Headphones on. iTunes password at the ready.

Thanks, MTV.


Why I hate this episode:

The stuff with the car is ridiculous, though. Maybe I’m showing my age, but I don’t believe for a second that a present-day car can be suitably hacked as to drive itself as efficiently as it does in this episode.

To confound the “computers are magic” bullshit, Lindy then taps away on her phone, which she plugs into the car’s dashboard, to over-hack Mr Stalker’s hacking and save herself and Tommy (who had been put in the boot). Lindy is a dated pixie cut away from being the star of a Hackers reboot. It’s not a good look.

I’m a little bit confused about Tommy. I had thought his devotion to keeping Lindy safe stemmed from sexual attraction. This is a young adult slasher drama filled with 20-something models, after all. But later in the episode, Gay Friend flirts with him, and Tommy politely shoots his advances down with an “I prefer blondes.” I suspect he was just being cheeky, but Lindy clearly isn’t a blonde, and I am sure she’s your love interest. Why do you lie to me, baby?

And it would be too much to hope that Nico Tortorella could have been a gay character in another slasher series.

Black Friend and Gay Friend crash Aussie Guy’s cook-in dinner date with Lindy. All three of them convene in the bathroom to gossip about whether or not he’s going to slit their throats. Gay Friend remarks that they shouldn’t eat the food, because it might be poisoned. Bitch, you were the last one into the bathroom, so you left him alone with the food. He wouldn’t have been able to poison it if you’d stayed. Rude.

I don’t know why Lindy and the police are convinced Horny Guy is the killer after all the car stuff goes down. Horny Guy was with Lindy when Tommy was attacked and stuffed into the boot of the car. So it obviously isn’t him.

Oh, and Mr Stalker starts off the episode by pouring acid on a girl’s face, and we don’t even get to see the aftermath. That Scream gore factor is starting to look worryingly shaky.


But it’s not all bad:

Gay Friend would steal the show, if there was enough show to steal. Near the end of the episode, he and Black Friend are brought to the police station for their protection, because a shrine dummy from Mr Stalker depicts not only Lindy, but them, too. Black Friend is all pissed off because she doesn’t trust the police (for what they did to Lindy. Thanks, Ben), but Gay Friend is just upset at the inconvenience.

His flirting with Tommy was lukewarm, but I appreciate the effort.

And Gay Friend also secretly photographs the investigation room. Shady.

With Horny Guy out of the running to be the killer, it looks like Aussie Guy is the only established candidate left. Everything in this country is out to kill you. So it would stand to reason the people are, too. Thanks for recognising us, Eye Candy.

Lindy is almost suicidally reckless with her investigation, but I must commend her courage. She has no contingency plans in place in the event that her date is indeed Mr Stalker. She just wings the crap out of it. Yeah, Tommy is on her butt all the time, but she didn’t ask for that. Good luck not getting brutally murdered, Lindy.

Oh, and Lindy can really rock that sweaty rave look. I don’t remember Elena ever doing that for us.

Eye Candy BRB Lindy dancing sweaty

I take no pride in this.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

8 responses to “Eye Candy Season 1 Episode 2 – TV Review”

  1. Anonymous says :

    I swear you take so much pride in it.

  2. Anonymous says :

    I better hush before you blush. Hehe.

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