Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 15 – TV Review

Pretty Little Liars Fresh Meat Jason Ashley kiss

I didn’t know this pairing was missing from my life, but I’m glad it’s here now.

Apart from this exceptionally hot hookup, little of value occurs this episode.

Which is the new PLL MO, you know.

TL;DR Ashley and Jason bang; Aria weasels her way into college; Emily handles Paige’s departure poorly; Toby finds (possibly) Mona’s murder weapon; Caleb and Spencer destroy the murder weapon.

And Caleb and Spencer might be joining Ashley and Jason on the surprise shipping pile.

So here’s our Liar-by-Liar play-by-play:

Toby finds a knife that belongs to his family out behind Mona’s house. He is torn on whether or not to hand it to the police. But, against his wishes, Spencer and Caleb go out there, take it, and destroy it (Caleb almost gets cooked in a kiln in the process). Toby has a cry about it, but Spencer and Caleb have a welcome amount of sexual tension, so not all is lost.

Aria finally manages to get into college by bitching about her relationship with Ezra in a personal letter to an admissions officer at Talmadge College. That officer is Jackie, Ezra’s one-time fiance who we haven’t seen since season 2. A still seems to be at large, though, as they try to sneak Ezra a peek at the vicious letter (Aria, unfortunately, intercepts it).

Emily pines hardcore for Paige. She bullies her way into snagging a catering role for Ezra’s coffee/bookshop reopening, but turns out to be rubbish at it. She also counsels Aria against submitting her letter, but Aria’s a fucking idiot, so it’s no use.

Hanna puts her own college tour (she’s had multiple acceptances) on hold to ty to find Holbrook. But she comes up empty handed. She does arrive home in time to see Jason on his walk of shame out of Ashley’s boudoir. And she visits Alison in prison, who continues to protest her innocence.

Hanna tells Alison she’s fresh out of fucks to give. Which would be empowering, if it wasn’t so blatantly flawed. A is still operational, you fools.

It’s not that this episode is particularly obnoxious. It’s just that nothing arc-important really happens.

The knife is kind of important, but the muddled melodrama between Toby/Spencer/Caleb about it saps the urgency right out of it.

Also, we don’t see the aftermath of putting the knife in the kiln. Which I’m going to assume means A took it while Spencer and Caleb forgot all about it.

It’s not too much of a stretch for these dipshits.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Ah, the old PLL chestnut of bringing back largely arbitrary characters to suddenly be vital to the current plot. Jackie, you’re another notch in the belt. Yeah, Aria’s college acceptance isn’t super important. But we haven’t seen Jackie for three bloody seasons. Who cares about her?

Also, if she hates Aria as much as we know she does, why on Earth would she accept her to the college? I suspect she’s going to do something malicious with the letter (maybe she’s A!?), but she surely wouldn’t need to offer Aria college acceptance for that little gambit. Any success for Aria is a failure for me.

So, Toby finds a knife on an official police search for Mona’s body. A knife that could be her murder weapon. A knife that belongs to his family and could easily incriminate him or his friends. And he just leaves it on the ground? What the fuck? At least pick that shit up and hide it or something. Jesus Christ.

We’re also told that the police have swept this area before and found nothing. And this knife is not well hidden. Which means either: a) the police are insanely incompetent (which, given this is Rosewood PD, is a fair bet); or b) A has planted it. Given that Toby seems to have some sort of faith in the Rosewood PD, he should reasonably expect the knife to be an A plant. In which case, pick that shit up and deal with it, buddy. Gosh.

Spencer and Caleb are later able to easily find it in the dark. After Toby had covered it up with leaves. Good God.

Toby has a shitfit at Spencer later for talking to him about her evidence tampering, because, as a police officer, he can’t listen to incriminating information without acting. Bitch, I thought the whole point of you becoming a police officer was so you could help Spencer with the inside goss. Don’t get all ethical on me, now.

Emily’s entire subplot is a huge wank. She wants to earn money from catering (and a prospective promotion at the cafe, if the catering were to go well) so she can buy a plane ticket to go see Paige. Nobody cares, Emily. Certainly not Paige.

Caleb tells Spencer the reason he’s so scared of the knife maybe having his fingerprints planted on it is because he’s been accused of murder before. When he was younger, a hacker friend of his was killed, and his other hacker friend fingered Caleb. There was no evidence, so he was let go. Caleb’s never bothered to mention this before, and he just arbitrarily tells Spencer. Instead of, oh, I don’t know, Hanna? His long-term girlfriend? Whatever.

Oh, and there’s some new hipster character named Johnny. He works at the cafe, and is looking to rent the barn at the Hastings house. No, thanks.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Emily is really terrible at cooking, so Ezra has to hire a professional to save the launch event. And to Emily’s credit, she overcomes her hostility, bonds with Cater Woman, and eventually tells Ezra he should hire her, thus giving up the fight for her own promotion. How magnanimous.

The Liars are quickly coming around to the idea that another A is still after them. They seem to think it’s an accomplice of Alison’s, though. In any case, the faster they accept they’re still being targeted, the faster they can start working on countermeasures.

The indisputable highlight of the episode is Ashley and Jason’s hookup. Things start out at Jessica’s real estate office, which Jason is now reluctantly running. He is aware Ashley has been applying for another job, and asks her to stay on to help him. I caught a whiff of UST in the air, but I couldn’t be sure.

Later, Alison calls the office hoping to speak to Jason, but he tells Ashley not to give him the phone and say he’s not available. Ashley: his hero.

And then Ashley offers Jason dinner at her place, and Jason goes in for the pash. Ashley (who I think is still seeing Ted?) tries to resist, but she’s not that strong. Nobody is. Hell, I’m not sure which one of them is hotter. They work well together.

Jason is scared that Alison, having already looked very guilty for the murders of Mona and Bethany, might have killed Jessica, too. I do love me a broken man with mummy issues. And so does Ashley, evidently.

Best line of the episode goes to Aria when she admits her college rejection procession to Ezra: “Nobody wants me.” Acceptance is an important step, Aria.

Caleb almost gets cooked alive in the school’s kiln, but Spencer comes to his rescue, when he’s all breathless and sweaty. All their scenes are peppered with sexual tension. For the drama’s sake, I approve.

Alison receives a note at the end of the episode that says her friends will be seeing her soon. It’s not signed by A, so I suppose we’ll have to wait and see whether it was hopeful (“your friends will visit you soon”) or threatening (“your friends will be imprisoned soon”).

Hanna tracks down Holbrook’s apparent address at a trailer park, but all she finds is his dad. His dad says he hasn’t seen Holbrook for a while. But he does seem to mistake Hanna for Alison, and his implication means that Hanna now knows that Holbrook and Alison had a relationship.

Oh, and Hanna’s face when she sees Jason slinking out is priceless.

PLL Fresh Meat Hanna Jason walk of shame

Poor Caleb.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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