Eye Candy Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

Eye Candy Lindy Victoria Justice pilot

And we’re sure Amanda Bynes wasn’t available?

Can you believe I Just Hate Everything hasn’t added a new show to the roster since the God-forsaken Ravenswood, back in 2013?

Hell, the trauma of watching Ravenswood is what caused the drought.

But pretty people in slasher movie style drama is worth a shot, I reckon.

And it’s only got a 10 episode order, so I can rest assured my suffering will only be temporary if it all goes so wrong.

TL;DR Victoria Justice is a New York City hacker who is beset by a cyber-stalking serial killer. Her collection of token friends are imperiled by her attempts to discover the truth. Also, her sister got kidnapped a few years ago and she’s still holding out hope for that.

I’m sure there’s no way these two things could possibly be related.

So Victoria Justice is Lindy. Three years ago, she witnessed her sixteen year-old sister get abducted. Since then, she’s become a hacker freedom fighter who runs a website to help find missing people. She’s recently on parole after her then-bofyriend, an undercover police officer, turned her in for cyber crime. Her Black Friend and Gay Friend (who is more of a frenemy) set her up on Flirtual, a Tinder/Grindr hybrid dating app. This intersects with our serial killer’s plotline of meeting people on Flirtual and then murdering them for being imperfect. Lindy meets this guy, but we don’t know which of her dates it was. She puts her 1337 haxing skills to use trying to sniff him out, but ends up endangering her friends, and getting her cop ex-boyfriend murdered. The stalker makes it clear he’s not done with her yet.

Is the show trying to say that Victoria Justice is perfect? What an ego stroke.

All in all, Eye Candy is exactly what I expected it to be. MTV shows are even more shamelessly processed than CW shows, but it works. Everyone is model-level good-looking, the production value is just high enough to keep you invested, and, as we’re on MTV, the soundtrack is insistent, but complementary.

This pilot is a tad predictable and more than a little bland, but with only a 10 episode order to work with, I’ll keep some optimism that the season will progress.

And I can never resist pretty people in trouble.

 

Why I hate this episode:

I’m still not sold on Victoria Justice. Yeah, Fun Size was great, but it wasn’t great because of her. I still consider her to be a discount Nina Dobrev. Maybe Eye Candy will open my eyes to her talents. But this episode hasn’t inspired me.

The cast are hilariously cookie cutter. There’s Black Friend, Gay Friend, Cop 1 Ex-Boyfriend, Cop 2 New Love Interest, Fat Coworker. And of course, the effortlessly gorgeous and cool girl main character who is also prodigiously adept at hacking. Like I said: processed.

The dating app thing is far too dujour, and will not age well at all. Not that I should really be expecting a show like this to have any type of legacy. But it’s something to consider.

The title comes from the random username Black Friend gives to Lindy’s Flirtual profile. It also serves to trivialise the show by describing the selling point.

Typical MTV, but the soundtrack is way too pushy. I suppose I’ll just have to accept that.

Oh, and apparently Nico Tortorella was originally in the role of Cop 2 in the unaired pilot. What the hell, MTV? You don’t let Nico Tortorella go. You just don’t.

 

But it’s not all bad:

His replacement may be an unknown, but he’s still young and attractive. Along with everyone else in this show.

Victoria Justice is no Nina Dobrev, but she’s doing an adequate job so far. And let’s be honest, her face is basically perfect. So Mr Stalker has a point.

The gore is a little subdued, but it’s sufficient enough for now. We get to see poor Cop 1 with his throat slashed at the end of the episode, and theres a shaky-cam-esque murder scene for a blonde girl earlier on. I’m looking at Eye Candy as a prediction of what I can expect for the sure-to-be-subpar Scream adaptation, so I’m hoping for more.

The only one of Lindy’s Flirtual candidates in her investigation not to be eliminated (one is a man whore, the other gets murdered) is Aussie Guy. I appreciate the Aussie presence in this show so far.

The scene where Lindy watches her sister get abducted is pretty intense.

Mr Stalker doesn’t appear to be discriminating between men and women when he chooses his dating victims. Gay Friend better watch his back.

Gay Friend is actually Black Friend’s friend, and he and Lindy don’t get along very well. The only thing better than a gay friend is a combative gay friend.

Oh, and Lindy has Elena TVD season 1 hair. Which is why I keep making the Nina Dobrev comparison. I miss it.

Eye Candy Pilot Lindy jacket ankle monitor

Bow to your master.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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