American Horror Story Season 4 Episode 9 – TV Review

I’m just counting episodes at this point.

Nothing scary happens. Nothing shocking happens. Even the melodrama is lukewarm.

And if anyone should be able to realistically sell angst, it should be freaks.

TL;DR Dandy develops a god complex, which isn’t helped by the fact that he gets whatever he wants, when he wants, with zero opposition; Jimmy hits the bottle, bangs Barbara, alienates Esmerelda, and turns down the sexual advances of Dot; Dell tries to commit suicide; Elsa and Stanley fail to convince the Paulsons to get the separation surgery (which was fake, anyway); Gabourey gets killed.

But not even by Dandy. Pfft.

This episode is kind of all over the place, but Dandy gets the most play. He’s revelling in his newfound penchant for blood bathing, and gleefully reveals to a persistent Gabourey that he’s killed her mum and his mum. He allows her to leave the house, and unsurprisingly, she returns with a police officer. Dandy then offers the cop a million dollars to kill Gabourey, and he does. Dandy’s other focus is on destroying Jimmy. He murders the Skanky Housewife Brigade, and uses his bribed copper to frame Jimmy for it at the end of the episode. Meanwhile, Jimmy spends his episode in the bottom of several bottles of booze. He has sex with Barbara, the fat lady, which grosses out Esmerelda. Later, Dot and Bette approach him, and Dot declares her love for him, and, with Bette’s blessing, her intention of having a relationship with him. He turns them down, as he’s in love with someone else (presumably, Esmerelda). Meanwhile, Elsa and Stanley spend their time trying to convince the Paulsons that the twin-separating doctor is coming for a visit (Stanley has actually hired a male prostitute for the role, and they’re just gonna fake it and kill them). Bette convinces Dot not to get the chop. Meanwhile, Dell is plagued by guilt over Ma Petite and his own gay angst, and tries to hang himself. But Desiree comes to his rescue. And Desiree, herself, has an old beau show up.

But she ain’t got time fo’ dat.

I can’t even muster the energy to be mad at American Horror Story anymore this season. Each episode just washes over me in unremarkable, apathetic waves.

God, do I actually miss Twisty? That can’t be right.


Why I hate this episode:

The lack of opposition to Dandy is ridiculous. This man is clearly an unhinged, self-confessed murderer. Yet the cop who comes with Gabourey takes about half a second to accept the random offer of one million dollars (which is not produced, mind you) and shoot Gabourey in the head. For all he knew, Dandy would have turned around and killed him, too. Get the cash first, at least, honey. Gosh.

Jimmy’s rapid descent into being a feeder-fetishising drunkard is shit. It’s just pointless crap to complicate his relationship with Esmerelda.

Ethel may not be revived, like so many characters in Coven, but she still pops in as someone to judge Jimmy and Dell in visions. You’re dead. Shoosh.

Stanley shows Dell his apparently shocking penis. I’m not sure if it’s because of its size, or some kind of deformity. This is American Horror Story, baby. Just show us.

Oh, and the Paulsons proposition Jimmy while he’s clearly drunk as hell. That’s date rape, ladies. But he’s male, so I guess it doesn’t count, right?


But it’s not all bad:

Dot accepts Jimmy’s refusal with grace, though. So I’ll give her points for that.

Jimmy has always been a frustrating stick in the mud, so I’m glad he’s getting carted off and framed for a mass murder. Maybe it’ll toughen him up a bit.

Dandy’s oppositionless god complex may be stupid, but I’ll commend him for being wonderfully efficient. He manages to silence Gabourey, buy a police force, and enact revenge on his enemy (he’s mad at Jimmy for taking the Paulsons away), and all without breaking a sweat.

Hell, he even gets to take a new blood bath. And he murders a door-knocking Avon lady, then sews her head onto Gloria’s corpse and make them into a puppet copy of the Paulsons. Cute.

Dell is the surprise sympathy case of the episode. His gayngst is too much to handle, and I imagine murdering Ma Petite isn’t weighing too light on his conscience, either. Vision Ethel chastises him for being a coward, but I interpreted it as her disagreeing with his decision to kill himself. She appears to have some sympathy for him, which I appreciated.

Desiree, too, shows that she cares about him when she cuts him down. Maybe she could be his faghag?

Bette is the queen of manipulation this episode. I saw what she was doing with Dot, laying on her guilt trip and all. She reminds Dot of all they’ve accomplished together, then humbly offers to allow herself to be killed in the surgery so that Dot can live a full life. That sneaky bugger. And it works, too.

Dandy invites Gabourey to join him in his blood bath. So you can’t say he isn’t generous.

Oh, and Bette’s position in the proposed relationship between Jimmy and Dot is to basically just turn her head to the side while they get busy. Yeah, right. I see what you’re doing, perve.

American Horror Story Freak Show The Fat Lady Sings Jimmy Bette Dot topless

More like a two-and-a-halfsome.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

6 responses to “American Horror Story Season 4 Episode 9 – TV Review”

  1. lewisk says :

    Yes, this season is being very weak in general… But I did like episodes 8 and 9, both had shocking moments, kind of chilling, and I think that Murphy might be finally getting this right

  2. hikonico says :

    I find Dandy’s character to be a fault of lazy writing. A rich kid that can get whatever the hell he wants to solve any inconsistency or logic cause he can just ‘buy’ his way out of it. I couldn’t help but laugh when he said “One Million Dollars” it reminded me of this

    Its like Ryan Murphy can’t get away from the Underdog narrative and its painfully obvious that he’s shoving the same shit he does on glee onto this show. He’s stale, one note and can’t stop sucking his own dick. and his Co-writers are no better. The only saving grace is probably the acting and costumes. He knows how to pick em’.

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