Once Upon a Time Season 4 Episode 10 – TV Review

OUaT Elsa Anna reunion Fall Storybrooke

I jumped the gun a bit last time.

Please, let it be so.

I’ve had about as much Frozen wanking as I can handle.

And my wanking threshold is pretty high, you know.

TL;DR Anna and Kristoff finally show up in Storybrooke; our heroes fail laughably to prevent Snow Queen’s super spell from rocking town; Gold looks out for himself (obviously); Hook commits a spree killing.

Under duress, of course.

So Snow Queen has finally unleashed her mega mirror curse spell cloud of doom onto Storybrooke. For some reason, it takes several hours to roll into town, which gives the gang plenty of time to futilely run around trying to prevent catastrophe. Emma and Elsa take it upon themselves to find Anna. This is because, as a survivor of the spell, she will be able to help make a vaccine against it. After some setbacks and squabbling, they eventually do find Anna (and Kristoff) at the beach, but it’s too late. Both because of time constraints, but Hook has also secretly sucked the entire nunnery of fairies (who were the only ones apparently able to manufacture the vaccine) into the Sorcerer’s hat at Gold’s demand. Oops. Gold himself spends the episode planning the safety of himself, Belle, and Henry from the mirror spell. Meanwhile, Regina does what she can to protect Henry from getting hurt, and she also seals herself away, worried what havoc her bitchy side might cause in town. The episode ends as the mirror spell descends. Dammit. Oh, and in what I hope to God is our final flashback to Arendelle, Anna and Kristoff thaw out and set off to find Rumple, who they have deduced has the urn. Hans, also thawed out, chases them down and tries to kill them by locking them in a chest and throwing them off Blackbeard’s ship. But Elsa wishes them to Storybrooke or something just in time.

They were also frozen (ah ha!) for thirty years, so everything syncs up nicely.

This episode is largely a dull affair. It’s entirely constructed to hype up the impending doom of the mirror curse. And while I understand that is necessary, it unfortunately means some more compelling plotlines are put on hold.

Mainly, the Operation Mongoose thing. Which Regina even brings up when talking with Henry, saying how she’s upset that they won’t get to continue with it right now.

Yeah, you and me both, Reggie.

 

Why I hate this episode:

The Snow Queen herself spends the entirety of the time waiting for the spell to hit just standing in the same spot on a mountaintop. What was she doing up there for all those hours? I didn’t see an iPhone. How boring.

She also agrees to help Gold flee Storybrooke after the spell wreaks its destruction, simply because he threatens to spend his immortal life trying to kill her. Bitch, just freeze that chump and get over it. Literally, all Gold does is say “Imma hound you, tho,” and she’s willing to allow her most powerful opponent whatever he wants. Fuck off.

Hook avoids being discovered for his en masse suck-up of the fairies by hiding behind the counter (they’re at Granny’s diner). Emma, once again displaying her capacity for brilliant police work, just takes a glimpse of a crime scene, then waltzes off without any further investigation. Top marks, Emma.

Snow and David ask Emma to lock them in jail cells so they can’t hurt each other once they’re infected by the mirror spell. Adjacent cells. That they can put their arms through. Here’s hoping they do have the smarts to figure that out (it’s a stretch, I know) and strangle each other to death.

Just how permanent are the barriers Regina puts up for her and Henry’s protection? Wouldn’t Bitchy Regina just immediately tear them down?

The Arendelle flashbacks are unnecessary, and stupidly convenient. “Oh, we were frozen for thirty years, so Elsa can now use the Wishing Star, which she doesn’t know she has, to accidentally wish Anna and Kristoff to safety moments before they drown to death.” Really?

Oh, and Nobody seems to be worried about Kristoff getting infected. He’s not immune, is he?

 

But it’s not all bad:

All we do get to see of the mirror spell taking effect is some frowny faces from David and Snow, but by God, it’s a start. I know I’ll be disappointed, but I hope Storybrooke gets properly fucked up next episode.

Elsa and Anna’s reunion was long-awaited, and suprisingly turned out to be kind of sweet. Yeah, they’re both overacting Disney drama queens, but after putting up with this much angst, I’ll admit it was worth it.

Hans is the best thing about the Arendelle flashbacks. He’s so evil, but so handsome and likeable. And big points for getting so close to murdering Anna and Kristoff. So close, baby. But I still love you.

Hook’s massacre of the fairies is cartoonishly cruel. Poor Mother Superior tries sneaking away, but Hook catches her, and tears up while he sucks her into magic dust. I fully expect that everyone inside the hat will be just fine once they smash it or whatever. But this is the closest thing we’ll get to fairy genocide on this show, so I’ll take it.

Robin and Regina have a little romantic goodbye before the mirror spell hits, which was nice. They’re the only ones for whom I hope the Bitch Age is temporary.

Oh, and David’s face when he gets mirror spelled makes me hopeful that he’ll finally tell Snow what we’ve all been thinking.

OUat David mirror spell Fall

Your wholesomeness had blinded you to the truth, David.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

3 responses to “Once Upon a Time Season 4 Episode 10 – TV Review”

  1. lewisk says :

    Oh man, your blog is hilarious haha I don’t know how I didn’t find it before

    I agree with you in most of the things, so just know that you’ll have a new reader in me!

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