The Originals Season 2 Episode 4 – TV Review

Just in case Esther’s evilness was too ambiguous for you, this episode she advocates for the mass murder of humans, performed by child werewolves to activate their curses. In order to grow her army, of course,

Does Esther still believe she’s the good guy?

TL;DR Our main characters are less insane than Esther and thwart her outrageous plan; but Elijah ends up getting captured; Klaus teams up with/uses Camille to track down Davina, and manages to subdue Mikael (maybe); Josh now has a love interest.

There’s a gay in Mystic Falls, now. And now we have two gays in New Orleans. The TVD-verse is really coming along after these six years, you know?

The major plot this episodes sees Oliver and Aiden (the new love interest for Josh. Also, he’s a werewolf. Natch) running to Marcel, Josh, Hayley, and Elijah for help to stop Lenore (now being inhabited by Esther, remember) and Vincent’s new plan to activate the werewolf curse of a bunch of tweens. I suppose all the constant werewolf murdering is starting to impact Esther’s bottom line. Our heroes may be mythical monsters, but they’re not actual monsters, so they unite to squirrel the tween wolves out of town and away from Esther. It works, but it appears that it was all a diversion to get Elijah alone so Lenore can abduct him and prepare him for “purification.” Meanwhile, Davina is getting a bit of cabin fever with Mikael. After she gets a boo boo during a training session with him, she calls in Kaleb for emotional support. Klaus is also trying to get to Davina, and leverages Camille to do so. Klaus turns up just after Kaleb releases Mikael from Davina’s restrictions, but Klaus is able to stick Mikael with that curved knife of torment. Minor subplots include: Gia pretending she’s good enough to be Elijah’s new love interest; Aiden and Josh starting their Romeo and Juliet wannabe love story; and Klaus and Camille teasing each other through the fucking roof with an almost-kiss.

They’ve had a lot of practice.

I’m tempted to complain that The Originals’ consistency is becoming stale (because I’m tempted to complain about everything. Have you read the name of the site?). But I’m not going to.

The Originals still has 18 episodes to mow through this season. The time to bitch about it will come.

Don’t you worry.


Why I hate this episode:

Davina is kind of an enormous dumbass. Firstly, how is she at all surprised that the super original vampire (who feeds on vampires) would be strong enough to cause her injury during a training session she requested? Secondly, it’s a fucking twisted ankle, girl. You’ll live. Thirdly, she calls Kaleb in at the drop of a hat. Even if she doesn’t suspect him of anything shady (which she clearly doesn’t), how hard would it be for any of her numerous enemies to figure out who she’s been seeing and follow them?

It’s kind of insulting that nobody does do that. Klaus goes through Camille, instead.

Speaking of Klaus and Camille, just get your relationship together, already. I expect that now Elijah is being pushed towards Gia, Klaus will likely come back around to be shipped with Hayley again. But we all know Camille suits Klaus much better. Figure it out, you two.

Speaking of Gia, that little baby vampire skank can get the fuck away from my Elijah. I don’t know what he sees in her at all. If he wanted an annoyingly spunky protege, he’s already got Hayley. Gia is the definition of disposable. So I wish The Originals would just dispose of her. Elijah lets her grab his heart through his chest during a training session, for goodness’ sake. Fuck off.

We get a slight glimpse of Josh’s online dating profile, and in his “I spend a lot of time thinking about” section, his answer is “The Loch Ness Monster.” Shut the fuck up you little hipster piece of shit. Jesus fucking Christ kill me.

Likewise, Aiden’s username is “mordorinthefirst.” These hipster turdbags belong together.

And in a world of hybrids and original vampires and dead people in new bodies, nobody is going to care about your “we’re from different tribes” wangst. So please, don’t even bother.

After an early attack on the vampires by Lenore’s wolf army, Hayley warns Elijah not to kill any werewolves in retaliation because they’re her people. Um, no. This is war. Thankfully, Elijah and Oliver do end up massacring a large group of werewolves later on. So poo on you, Hayley.

Oh, and Lenore chains up Elijah all vulnerable and sexy-like, but I can’t enjoy it because it’s his mother watching and it’s icky. Disappointing.


But it’s not all bad:

Elijah is so goddamn sexy, though. When Gia puts her fist through his chest and grabs his heart, he pretty much gives the entire range of sex faces. I came a little bit.

The other highlight of the episode, in my opinion, is the reunion of Camille and Klaus. Yeah, he’s using her to get to Davina. And yeah, she purposely slows him down to try to warn Davina. But they’re just so good together. She was a sexy fit with Marcel, but the pairing of the emotionally damaged and psychologically fragile Klaus with the strength and stoicism of Camille is too divine to pass up.

Camille even says, in what I think is a defining moment for Klaus (in this show, at least), that Klaus enjoys her company because he is able to explain to her what his side of the story is. Be still, my aching heart.

And Camille, oddly (because she is merely a squishy human), seems to be relatively unafraid of Klaus. So that’s a plus.

Josh and Aiden may be hipster scum, but their relationship is a step in an exciting new direction. Hopefully it can pave the way for Luke over in TVD to get a love interest of his own.

Oliver is still proving himself to be loyal to the cause against Esther. Not only does he come with Aiden to ask for help to stop the tween wolf murder crusade, but he also diligently assists Elijah in ripping apart the pack of werewolves who attack them. Good boy.

Lenore may be crazy evil, but she knows how to get shit done. I’m almost certain the tween wolf murder crusade was entirely a distraction to get Elijah alone. Either way, she’s mean as hell. And good at it. I wonder what this purification process will entail?

Despite being subdued with the curved knife, after Klaus loads Mikael’s unconscious body into the boot of his car, Mikael discreetly wakes up and pulls the knife out of his abdomen. Klaus better hope he keeps a good hold on that invinci-stake, because Mikael is ready to kill you, baby.

Elijah almost snaps Vincent’s neck.

Oh, and I’m just still high on the fact that Camille is back. I really did miss her.

The Originals Camille Live and Let Die

Or at least call in Rebekah as your replacement. I need my blonde bitches.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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