Once Upon a Time Season 4 Episode 4 – TV Review

Nah, just kidding. She chickens out and drops the sword about two seconds later.

The boring haircut is a dead give away every time.

TL;DR Rumple tricks Anna into helping him obtain a powerful magical box; Emma and Hook go on their first official date, but Hook is too much of an angsty, past-dweller; Hook punches Will in the face; Gold turns the blackmail tables on Hook.

It’s not a banner episode for Hook.

The Storybrooke crew take a breather from searching for the Snow Queen that’s keeping the town trapped, and instead focus on Emma and Hook going on their first real date. Aww. Before they go, Hook suddenly gets the cravings for his old, non-hook hand, and uses his dagger knowledge to blackmail Gold (again) into putting his old hand back on. Gold agrees, but does warn that Hook’s old hand contains his old, pirate personality, and it will make him act out. It does, and in fear for his future with Emma, Hook returns to Gold begging for a swap-back. Gold will only do it if Hook helps him use that little astral projection box he found in the season opener to attack an old dude in town. Hook does, and now Gold has a tape of Hook attacking an old dude to blackmail him back. Touché. Meanwhile, Henry decides to work undercover for Gold to look for info on who the storybook author is (Operation Mongoose is go!); Will gets in trouble after drunkenly breaking into the library; and David and Elsa confirm that Snow Queen indeed is a new arrival to Storybrooke, and wasn’t transported there because of any curse. And in flashbacks to the Enchanted Forest, Anna makes a deal to help Rumple poison the old man we also see in Storybrooke, who in this world is an apprentice of a powerful wizard. Through some moral tricks, Rumple uses Anna to get access to the magic box the Apprentice was protecting. Anna ends up getting her hands on both the box and the Dark One’s dagger, though, and commands him to send her home to Arendelle with the box.

Poor Rumple. Someone so fabulous bested by a girl with such boring hair.

I’m glad Emma has her priorities in order.

I mean, who wouldn’t go out on a cookie cutter “first” date with a man you’re basically dating anyway? Oh, there’s a homicidal, Hitler-esque super magician lurking around town who has, as a matter of interest, tried to kill your almost-boyfriend before?

Meh, it can wait.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Emma Swan: Sheriff. She must get her “being good at your job” skills from her mother.

It doesn’t help that Hook’s supposedly magical date with Emma that he insisted on planning is just dinner at a restaurant that isn’t Granny’s diner, and then a kiss outside the door at home. They couldn’t even go in for sex because Emma lives with her entire family plus Elsa. Wow, Emma. I’m glad to know that the town’s safety comes second to the world’s most unoriginal date with a man you don’t even need to have a first date with, anyway.

Gold plays the “the aggression was in you all along” card when Hook comes to him later, begging to be let go of the influence of his new/old hand. I’ve heard of the placebo effect, but this is taking things a bit far.

Hook gets himself some more modern clothes for the date, too. Blech. The only interesting thing about him was his suave coat and guyliner. You’re just a skinny loser without them, baby.

Anna doesn’t read her written contract with Rumple before signing it. No sympathy from me for that one.

The Snow Queen slicks up the road at one point and lures Emma after her for no apparent reason. Bitch, that’s just irresponsible to other road users.

Oh, and I don’t understand why Anna kept the Sorcerer Box in her hands when Rumple teleported her away, but dropped the Dark One dagger.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Rumple’s gambit with Anna, while a tad predictable due to Anna’s goody-two-shoes status (that hair was a big red flag), is suitably pragmatic. And it makes Anna feel bad, which is something she could use a bit more of. To balance out her idealism and optimism. He dupes her twice: first, into discarding the supposed poison he gave her to slip the Apprentice, which turns out to be an antidote to an actual poison Rumple had earlier given him (which turns him into a mouse). Then, gloating about his victory over her and how she’s proven she’s defeated the true darkness within her to be a good person, she’s all “Honey, that was nothing. I would have done that anyway. Because I’m a good girl.” So Rumple dupes her again by goading her into threatening his life, then backing down from killing him. Which turns out to be what Rumple actually needs to get to the Sorcerer Box (he steals one of her tears). Not bad for a day’s work.

Gold is similarly efficient with Hook. Firstly, by making him paranoid about his old/new hand turning him evil. And then coaxing Hook into helping him attack present day Apprentice, which yields Gold a surveillance tape which he can now use to blackmail Hook into doing whatever he wants. I suppose it was high time for Gold to take his place back in the villain spotlight. Regina isn’t there anymore.

Speaking of Regina, she’s being all magnanimous and researching through her vault to find a cure for Marian. It is fruitless, but it does give her some time to bond with Henry. Henry gets another notch in his belt of agreeable deeds when he declares he’s happy that Robin’s kiss didn’t save Marian. Because it proves that he’s still in love with Regina, which Henry is glad for. Aww.

He’s also going to kick Operation Mongoose into gear by going undercover in Gold’s shop. He reasons that Gold, despite being a villain, seems to be achieving his own happy ending. So he must know some way to defy or adjust the storybook, and maybe even have contact with the author. Clever boy.

The Sorcerer Box is a reference to The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, one of Disney’s icons from Fantasia. The box turns into some kind of magic hat thing that is able to absorb any magic. Gold uses it to trap present day Apprentice. And Rumple tells Anna that he intends to use it to rectify the limits of his own power as the Dark One. So you can see why he’s so anguished when Anna snatches it out from under him.

Anna is sad to learn from Rumple that her parents did indeed visit the Enchanted Forest looking for a way to remove Elsa’s powers, because they were afraid of her. I lol’d.

In addition to commanding Rumple to send her home to Arendelle, Anna also commands that he never hurt her or Anna. I don’t know what kind of permanence these commands have, especially when Anna doesn’t take the dagger with her. But if we’re to believe they do last, then we at least know that Rumple didn’t stick Elsa in her urn.

Will chooses to withhold the fact that Hook is the one who punched him in the face when Emma asks who gave him his black eye. What a sweetie.

Oh, and Will ends up in jail because he drunkenly breaks into the library. In his primal state, he wanted to read a copy of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Cute.

OUaT Will Scarlet drunk library The Apprentice

I don’t get what all the fuss is about. Is this not normal?

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

6 responses to “Once Upon a Time Season 4 Episode 4 – TV Review”

  1. Anonymous says :

    I also thought it was weird that Anna dropped the dagger, but I think she couldn’t keep it because she ordered Rumple to take her and the box home, and said nothing about the dagger. Which is pretty stupid of her. But what else could you expect from someone with such a boring haircut anyway

  2. Anonymous says :

    Not a bright girl this one. He can basically hurt anyone but her and Elsa so… Maybe we’re in for a treat?

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