Under the Dome Season 2 Episode 11 – TV Review

Under the Dome Barbie Julia freeze cold ambulance Black Ice

Easy, peaceful, and a lot like freezing to death.

And we’re back to “random dome peril of the week” territory.

This time, it’s the sheer horror of rapid season change.

But if you’re anything other than an extra, you don’t have to worry. The main character mortality rate is nil.

TL;DR It gets cold for a while, but nothing vaulable happens to anyone; Hunter is suspected of being a double agent, but isn’t; Pauline bitches at Big Jim, but then he saves Lyle, so ‘sall good; Melanie continues to be everyone’s burden to bear.

Even Hunter, who is risking his life and livelihood for no good reason. What a trooper.

The major plot sees that little autumnal foreshadowing from last episode come to fruition, with the onset of a deadly winter freeze, caused by the dome rotating, within a matter of hours (don’t worry, this is Under the Dome. It’s gone within hours, too). Everyone important holes up at the school. Barbie and Julia slip out to procure supplies from the diner, but arbitrarily crash the ambulance they’re driving. Julia gets impaled through her leg, and although she repeatedly implores Barbie to leave her for dead and save himself, he insists on staying. Then he gets the bright idea of letting hypothermia set in so he can remove the impaled rod without her losing too much blood, carrying her to the diner, and then reviving her. Which, naturally, works without a hitch. Meanwhile, Sam and Junior bring an ailing Melanie to the school. Her illness is connected to MIB experiments on the egg. Pauline manages to get some girl talk catch up time with her, though. Meanwhile, Joe becomes rightfully suspicious of Hunter, who has been communicating with the MIB. But it turns out Hunter’s an okay guy, as he’s used a lie to make the MIB stop fucking with the egg, which should help Melanie’s condition. Meanwhile, Big Jim feels like a bit of a cunt for ruining the chasm. He makes up for his transgression by risking his life to find fuel for the school’s generator. He also finds Lyle floundering in the lake, and saves him. This earns him brownie points with Pauline.

Pauline is the kind of girl who can brush aside her brother’s brutal murder of a teenage girl, so I guess she’s willing to accept anything, hey.

It’s like, really, what else is there to say about Under the Dome anymore? It’s just such a dumb show. Even The CW’s marathon 22 episode seasons feel like they have less pointless filler than this.

And this is only episode 11 of 13.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Okay, so I had a huge problem with the Barbie/Julia subplot. Yeah, their crash was just like whatever, but I was mostly on board for their little “wait it out” situation. But then Barbie is like “Hey, let’s let you fall to the brink of death with hypothermia. That way your blood flow will slow to a trickle, so I can extract the rod and run you to the diner to safety.” This plan doesn’t make any sense. When he pulls the rod out, it’s clear that Julia wasn’t pinned down to the floor or anything. So why not just leave it in her and make the run without having to let her hover at the edge of a hypothermia-induced death first? But even if we assume that the extraction of the rod was necessary to the plan, what’s the next part of the plan once Julia becomes warm and conscious again at the diner? Wouldn’t her blood flow return to normal, and she’d bleed out? And they can’t use the “but the diner had better supplies for dealing with the injury excuse,” because they were literally trapped inside an ambulance. Please tell me I must have missed a line of dialogue somewhere that explains this. I can’t believe something this flawed could make in onto the air.

Pauline continues to be the sloppy, soap operatic thorn in everyone’s side. Who gives a shit about you and your estranged family? This show did just fine before you got here to shit up the joint.

Melanie is a plot tumor. She’s only there to be Junior and Sam’s morality pet, and is just a ball and chain to everyone else. Let her die, I say.

A few characters bemoan the fact that they had a perfectly good evacuation route from the dome, and they didn’t use it in time to get everyone in town to safety. YOU DON’T SAY.

The onset of the cold is too rapid to take seriously. I know, I know. “But the dome is magic and can do anything.” But still. And its effects are inexcusably inconsistent. Hunter gets frost bite just from being out in the air too long. But fucking Lyle rolls around in the freezing lake water without any aftermath. Come the fuck on.

Pauline whinges about how she’s carried so much guilt over Melanie’s death for her whole life. Bitch, you four kids found a crazy alien egg and one of you, not you yourself, Pauline, I might add, accidentally hurt one of the others. What exactly is Pauline guilty about? That she couldn’t predict that Melanie would be a crazy mother hen over an alien egg? Or that Lyle would nudge Melanie in just the perfect way so she would hit her head and die? Get over it.

I just really hate Pauline and Melanie. And now they’ve converged, things will only get blander.

Oh, and like I said, the threat of the week dissipates as quickly as it appeared. Because permanence is for cable shows. Isn’t that right, TVD?

 

But it’s not all bad:

Hunter’s pretty face gets some more screentime.

Joe and Norrie actually manage to make a positive contribution by snooping on him.

Barbie and Julia’s relationship, while still dispropotionately epic to the amount of time they’ve known each other, feels more substantial this episode.

Lyle tells Big Jim that his smoke tunnel vision (like the ones the others got while going back into the dome) is of an apocalyptic firestorm. We can dream, can’t we?

Big Jim has a bitch at Barbie and Julia for keeping the escape chasm secret for a week, during which time an evacuation might have been organised. He’s got you there.

Hunter lies to the MIB and tells them to stop experimenting on the egg or Zenith would be in danger. It’s smooth. But I feel like someone should inform him that Melanie already has a couple of love interests. And she’s really not worth the trouble anyway, you know?

Oh, and there is one genuinely promising new development to come out of this episode: the dome is shrinking. Here’s to praying for a total cast kill (if Lyle’s dreamt-up firestorm doesn’t get them first).

Under the Dome Black Ice shrinking contracting

It was in the pool.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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