Under the Dome Season 2 Episode 9 – TV Review

Under the Dome Big Jim The Red Door

“You know we can’t deliver, right?”

You know what I would do if I was able to escape a death trap dome nightmare?

Immediately find a way back in.

It looks like Barbie, Pauline, Sam, and Lyle think like I do.

TL;DR Because they all find the mythical red door and go right the fuck back in (except Lyle, who vanishes. Such a loss); Barbie’s dad is super keen on getting that egg; as is Big Jim, who wants to bargain it for his and Junior’s safety; as is Julia, who wants to bargain it for Barbie’s safety; as is Melanie, who wants to keep the egg itself safe.

Given a second chance at life, I’d be a little more ambitious in my pursuits than “egg watchdog.”

So the plot outside the dome, which is more compelling than the one inside, starts off where last episode left off: with Barbie captured by the military. Except it isn’t the military, but some pushy Men In Black. Barbie’s dad tries to play all innocent and worried to get Barbie to cough up info on the egg, but Barbie sees through things, because Bad Dad is actually in charge of the MIB. Barbie escapes and meets up with Hunter, who himself has happened to meet up with his friend Pauline, and her companions Sam and Lyle. Barbie and Sam foam at each other for a bit, but they all decide to combine efforts to find the red door. Which they do: it’s the one from Barbie’s property. A quick cave dive and CGI smoke twister later, and all the gang (minus Lyle) emerge in the Chester’s Mill lake. Meanwhile, Julia and the kids wait around to hear from Barbie. Bad Dad unsuccessfully tries to coax the egg out of them. He has more luck with Big Jim, who negotiates down from trading the egg for the safety of the town, to just the safety of himself and Junior. Unfortunately for him, Melanie, who is already worried that Julia will trade the egg for Barbie, coerces Junior into helping her secure the egg first. Rebecca also manages to redeem herself by warning Julia of Big Jim’s machinations, which is good for her, but doesn’t make me happy.

You can be badder, Rebecca. Much badder.

So yeah, our escapees are back under the dome.

I’m unimpressed.

 

Why I hate this episode:

“Let’s save our loved ones by becoming trapped again.” Solid.

Hunter’s decision to go under the dome is especially stupid. His contribution to the group is his hacking skills, which are going to be a bit completely useless without any Internet.

Instead of being properly horrified that her brother is a murderer, Pauline is more interested in martyring herself because it was her obscure, raving journal that led Sam to the belief that killing teenagers would end the dome. Ffs, you two deserve each other. Jesus.

Big Jim keeps flopping back and forth between being selfish and magnanimous. When he first has his written word exchange with the MIB, he starts off with “I wanna save the whole town, yo.” When the MIB guy is like “Nuh,” he very quickly negotiates himself all the way down to “Just me and my son, then?” So are you evil or not, Big Jim? Middle ground is only dull.

Lyle arbitrarily disappears during re-entry to the dome.

Pauline tries finding some zen time to draw her next portentous image, which is an evil spiral. Who gives a shit? Maybe it refers to the smoke spiral that they encounter during re-entry? I don’t care. What a lazy way to make your random bullshit be meaningful.

Melanie is almost as bland as Pauline, but somehow manages to flirt her way into getting Junior’s assistance in securing the egg. When they were down in the bunker together, I was kind of hoping Junior would regress to his season 1 self and tie her up or something. Anything to inject a little life into things.

Pauline’s smoke spiral-induced vision takes her to the egg crater, with Melanie telling her that this is where it all began, and this is where it will end. Blah blah blah look how ominous we can be without actually including any element of danger or suspense. The usual.

Oh, and Barbie’s smoke spiral-induced vision is a flashback to his childhood on the day the red door was painted. Melanie was there, visiting for as yet undisclosed reasons. Because Under the Dome is a hotbed of unoriginality and Lost photocopies, I’m gonna say this is a Jack and Claire thing, and they’re illegitimate siblings. It’s just that easy.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Interestingly, Hunter claims to have not had a vision. I don’t believe those pretty little lips, baby.

And if nothing else, the Zenith crew are amazingly efficient in tracking down their route back into the dome. They’re just like “Hey Barbie, you know a red door?” And he’s like “Yes.” Some smoke spirals later and they’re back in. Quick work, team.

The egg factions could lead to some decent drama.

The episode ends with Pauline returning home to look for Junior, but running into Big Jim instead. I kind of hope they kill each other.

Everyone easily sees through Bad Dad’s lies, which is good. It means he’s free to be as unscrupulous as he wants. And he is, because he authorises his MIB to brutally torture Barbie into submission.

The juiciest moment of the episode is when Julia and Big Jim both realise that neither of them have the egg. I was dearly hoping for an awkward team-up, but I don’t think they’re ready for that kind of commitment yet.

Norrie notices another email in the inbox from a username including Hounds of Diana, and remembers a similar username from her Twitter. Unfortunately, they receive the new (and bogus) plea from Bad Dad, so we don’t get to see what was in it. But good on Norrie for having a working memory.

Hounds of Diana is Hunter’s operation, with assistance from Pauline and a random other hacker. It’s like a rebel news source on dome stuff or whatever. I appreciate the clarification.

Oh, and Barbie seems to be a fan of getting handsy with his handsome, male acquaintances.

Under the Dome The Red Door Barbie Sam

Open your eyes, sheeple.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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