Pretty Little Liars Season 5 Episode 11 – TV Review

PLL Melissa The Secret video confessional

Lesson learned: don’t break up with Paul Wesley.

The good news is that Melissa finally spills The Secret.

The bad news is that Ravenswood is not only mentioned, but Caleb’s issues with it dominate a subplot.

Oh. The horror.

And horror, ironically, was one of the things Ravenswood itself couldn’t achieve.

TL;DR The Secret is that Melissa accidentally buried Bethany alive because she thought it was Alison’s body and Spencer had killed her; Caleb’s drinking is a result of unresolved angst over Ravenswood; Roma is definitely on the trail of these pretty little Liars; Alison might be pre-empting everyone by going to Roma with the truth herself.

Yeah, right.

Plotlines, please:

Spencer is out in front with her little video confessional from Melissa: Melissa saw Spencer all drugged out and shovel-wieldly the night Alison disappeared. She later discovered what she thought was Alison’s dead body from a shovel attack, and buried “Alison” to protect Spencer. Melissa is now aware that she accidentally buried Bethany Young alive. Oops. Spencer also helps Hanna organise an intervention with Toby for Caleb.

The intervention goes poorly, but luckily Hanna hounds Caleb enough for him to spill the truth about what happened in Ravenswood. He gives us a hilarious rundown of what the Ravenswood season finale would have looked like (hint: awful), but the road to healing has begun.

Aria has a bit of a bitch fit at Mona because she and Mike have taken up with each other again. She goes a little too hard, though, and Mona has a breakdown. They find common ground, and Mona warns Aria that Alison will surely come after the Liars as her next target.

Emily enlists Ezra for some detective work into Cyrus. He finds proof that Alison knew Cyrus, and Emily is now accurately convinced that Alison must have used Cyrus to do a false confession. Emily also wants to get back together with Paige.

And Alison doesn’t appear this episode. However, Roma does tell Byron that one of the five girls has agreed to spill the beans to her. And we know it isn’t one of the Liars.

I honestly hope, for Alison’s sake, that all this effort to outwit, outsmart, and outplay A will work out in the end. Because at this rate, Alison’s not going to have any friends. And her famiy’s already a murdered mother down.

Fingers crossed for you, bitch.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Good grief, the Ravenswood drama. The fact that Hanna is cool with the insane explanation Caleb gives her about it is pathetic. Caleb regales her with tale of how he and the Ravenswood crew defeated some evil demon monsters that had a pact with a corrupt town by releasing spirits into a river, and watching fireflies float through the woods. And Hanna’s like “Yep, cool.” The only consolation is the fact that Miranda was never brought back to life. That girl is dead forever. I’ll cherish it.

Also, thanks to PLL, I now know that the cure to acoholism is to just talk about it a bit with my friends. There’s no physiological component to it at all. It’s all because I’m haunted by literal ghosts. Gee whiz! I better tell my ailing liver the good news.

At the start of the episode, the Liars are united in their decision to come clean about everything to the police. A stops them by showing them a photo of Alison in her candy striper outfit when she visited Hanna at the hospital after she was mown down by the car in season 1 (which would imply that they knew Alison was alive all this time, which would undermine their story). Don’t call back to a single moment 4 seasons ago as a concrete, unbreakable reason why the Liars can’t go to the police. PLL has a disappointing habit of using these as weasels to get out of tough situations. And I’m over it.

Emily wants to get back together with Paige now, but Paige is seen at the cinema with a new date. Oh my fucking God, just ship Paige’s old ass out and bring in a new love interest for Emily. They’re not Serena and Dan. This is no epic love. Move on, Emily.

All it takes is one bitchy whisper from Aria to totally unravel Mona and send her into a breakdown. I thought she had more gumption than that.

Caleb’s reason for drinking is that he’s afraid Miranda’s spirit will appear to him and tell him that what he did in Ravenswood wasn’t enough, and she’s still trapped in limbo or whatever. Nobody cares.

Oh, and really, Melissa? You chucked a girl into a grave and she didn’t move her arms from her face for even a split second for you to see that she wasn’t Alison? I expect more vigilance and anal-retention from a Hastings.

 

But it’s not all bad:

The Secret is finally out, and it’s a good one. Now we know why Melissa has been such a huge weirdo to Spencer forever: she thinks she killed someone. And now we know why she’s been extra weird recently: Melissa now knows she accidentally buried a random, innocent girl alive and killed her. Should have stayed in Mystic Falls, baby. You were saving lives there.

The Liars are actually making progress in their mounting distrust of Alison. Emily has now correctly deduced that Alison knew Cyrus, and used him to fake the confession to give her kidnap story plausibility. And with Alison on the verge of telling whatever she deems the “truth” to Roma, the Liars will have to band together to stop her. And the ATM photo of her and Cyrus (a complementary photo to the one that Noel had) might be the way to convince her.

Likewise, Roma is onto things with the Liars. Although her latest guess that the Liars killed Bethany isn’t true (it’s not, right?), it’s certain now that she doesn’t believe anything about the kidnap story. She doesn’t even believe Cyrus’ confession. Hunt these bitches down, Roma.

Caleb’s Ravenswood ramblings were a depressing detour into a chapter I thought we’d all agreed to forget about, but goddamn, they were funny. Miranda’s permanent death being the icing on the cake, naturally.

Melissa’s mistake of Bethany for Alison was aided by the odd fact that Bethany was wearing duplicate clothing to what Alison had on that night. The Liars, understandably, believe that this must have been on purpose. Was it part of an unrelated scheme that happened to unfortunately intersect with murder? Or was someone planning murder all along?

Ezra has scenes with someone who isn’t Aria.

Aria gives Paige the stink eye when she sees her at the cinema with some floozy. I lol’d.

I’m also a little bit impressed that Aria so easily managed to cut Mona down to size with her vicious, whispered words.

Mona’s bathroom breakdown tears are over her realisation that she’s a terrible person. Yes. She is. She admits to Aria that her hit squad isn’t as cohesive as she’d wanted (implying it’s essentially over). And for what it’s worth, she appears to genuinely care about Mike.

Her warning to Aria about Alison targeting the Liars next is pretty believable, too.

Oh, and Hanna’s Bond villain-esque ambush of Caleb after the botched intervention is brilliantly overblown.

PLL Hanna Caleb intervention

“Of course I would. I’m an acoholic, remember?”

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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