Revenge Season 3 Episode 21 – TV Review

Revenge Charlotte kidnapped Impetus

“It’s not even on Blu-ray. This is torture!”

I was wrong about the Mystery Man being Charlotte’s kidnapper. Turns out it was Emily and the gang.

That’s 2 episodes in a row that she’s kidnapped someone.

Kudos to you, baby. Taking control of your destiny.

TL;DR Emily kidnaps Charlotte in a grand scheme to make Conrad confess to the Flight 197/David Clarke conspiracy; it works and Conrad’s arrested; Jack is a bleeding heart when he finds out what Emily’s up to; Daniel and Margot get closer together; everyone correctly assumes Conrad killed Pascal (except the police); Emily vows to continue her revenge until Victoria is defeated.

Funny; Victoria has a similar plan for you, Em.

The episode’s plot really is an ode to the highs Emily’s scheming can reach. She kidnaps Charlotte and drills the truth about the Flight 197/David Clarke conspiracy into her. At the same time, she sends a ransom demand to Conrad for him and Victoria to hold a press conference and confess their involvement (sending an ear to them helps convince them). Her actual plan, though, is to pop an incognito spy camera on Charlotte, let bleeding heart Jack prematurely release her, and have her confront Conrad with the truth right before the press conference. He blasts her, admitting all he needed to in the process, and Emily hacks the assembled news vans to broadcast it instantaneously. Conrad is arrested. Done and dusted. Except that Victoria managed to keep herself out of it. She spends the episode getting a DNA test run on baby Carl and Charlotte. The results are convincing enough for her to risk Charlotte’s life by not giving in to the ransom demand. I presume she was testing whether Charlotte and Carl are related, to see whether or not Amanda was actually Amanda (and therefore if Emily is actually Emily). We’ll see. Meanwhile, Daniel tries to get Emily strung up because he believes Conrad employed her to trick Pascal onto the roof so Conrad could kill him. Margot and Daniel grow closer due to their mutual goal of finding the truth. And Aiden and Emily are, like, together again or something.

As long as it pisses Jack off, I’m happy.

Really, Jack could have fucked up the whole plan if Emily hadn’t correctly predicted that his vagina would get the better of him and he’d free Charlotte. He acts all high and mighty about Emily kidnapping her own sister, despite Emily reminding him that hey, the kidnapping isn’t real. She’s not going to hurt her.

Even Aiden plays the “my sister was kidnapped and it was scary so Charlotte must be scared and that’s baaaad” card.

I think that was part of the plan so Emily would leave the hideout, thus allowing Aiden to later leave the hideout and thus giving Jack the opportunity to free Charlotte, but still. Shut up, you guys.

The kidnapping isn’t real. You know it. Shoosh.


Why I hate this episode:

Nolan has a quick “this is extreme” dig, too. Bitch, it’s the second last episode. Of course it’s extreme.

Margot and Daniel are the real wet blankets on this episode. I’ve made my position about them getting together pretty clear (I hate it), but now they think they’re all smart and conspiracy-knowing. Next to Charlotte, Daniel is the dumbest character on the show. And Margot was supposed to be mainly a decent love interest for Jack following Amanda and a distant Emily. Stop being so fucking special and get out.

Daniel’s theory is that Conrad ordered Emily to pose as a Homeland Security agent and give Pascal the mission to get Conrad’s confession with the goal of getting Pascal onto the helipad so Conrad could kill him. Oh, honey. That’s an awfully complicated and shaky way to get someone to go up a flight of stairs. Don’t overthink it.

To add insult to douchebaggery, Daniel and Margot don’t even kiss. They do the lean in almost-kiss. If you’re gonna be dickheads, at least go all the way.

Daniel is still keeping his mouth shut about being responsible for telling Conrad about Pascal being in touch with the Feds, which is what led Conrad to kill Pascal. This wouldn’t be so annoying if he wasn’t going around trying to get Emily arrested, instead.

The cameras with a clear view of the helipad were all out of order on the night of Pascal’s death, but Margot has footage of Emily running down the stairwell to the helipad right after the “accident.” Margot doesn’t recognise it’s Emily, so she’s at a loss. If she has footage of Emily going down the stairwell, why doesn’t she just rewind it a couple of minutes and get the footage of her coming up? With her face facing the camera?

Emily has a whinge about how she doesn’t know who her true self is without her revenge spurring her on, and she is worried what she’ll be like once it’s over. No. Stop. Keep revenge-ing. No introspection; just carnage, please.

At the end of the episode, Victoria tells Daniel that Charlotte can never know that Victoria skipped out on the press conference (which would make it look like Victoria didn’t give a shit about Charlotte). How about just not tell Daniel that in the first place?

Oh, and Victoria seems pretty cocksure of herself when Conrad pledges to sell her the fuck out to the Feds during his questioning. She’s all like “Prove it.” Don’t tempt him, Viccy.


But it’s not all bad:

On the other hand, I really hope he does sell the fuck out of her to the Feds. Because he’d be telling the truth. And he must have something, somehwere, that would prove it. Go on.

The last scene of the episode has Emily coming to Conrad’s prison cell to gloat and announce she’s behind his arrest, and it was all for Amanda and David Clarke. She assures him that Victoria is still on her list, and he smiles wickedly and encourages her to do it. If this is as close as we get to Conrad and Emily teaming up, I’ll take it.

Emily’s plan of kidnapping Charlotte is impressively dastardly. I loved it. Charlotte’s discomfort be damned, the truth must get out there. Burn every bridge, Emily. Take these suckers down.

To prove how real the ransom demand is, Emily sends Conrad an ear with Charlotte’s earring. Classic.

The standout moment of the episode is, without compare, Conrad’s epic shoutdown of Charlotte once she returns home and lays the Flight 197/David Clarke accusations on him. He earns himself best line of the episode, the season, and possibly the series, with this monster monologue to a petulant Charlotte: “I have the power to take you out any time I want! I had to reach to snuff out your nuisance of a sister. I was in league with a confederacy of global terrorists who tried to bring me down, but I’m still here. And your father, the selfish and dimwitted David Clarke, he was my patsy to freedom. Oh, I have the power, and my secrets are gonna rot inside of you beyond your last breath because you are gonna keep your stupid and thankless mouth shut! I’m the last man standing for a reason, and if you even think about crossing me, I will erase you as I have so many others.” Conrad bombed Declan to death, and even this is more gloriously despicable than that. Pure euphoria.

Mostly because Charlotte is shit, and it’s about time someone told her that.

Every second of it gets broadcast live on TV, and Conrad even has the poise to accept his arrest, rather than invoke the indignity of a last minute fleeing of the country. Genuine class.

Victoria gets some points for easily deducing that Emily was likely posing as the Homeland Security agent Pascal was talking to. She is then willing to risk her daughter’s life on the back of that DNA test’s results. Whatever it is, it must be crucial.

The goon she has do the errand run for the test is none other than Mystery Man from last episode. Was Victoria responsible for the creepy letters Charlotte got, too? Why? I need to know.

Daniel’s attempts to get Emily in trouble with the police over Pascal’s death are foiled. Good.

Aiden tackles Daniel in the middle of a police station to shut Daniel up. Cute.

Aiden and Jack briefly measure dicks over who loves Emily more. Aiden concedes that it should be Jack, and that Emily’s plan will have to be complete before they have a chance. Then Aiden moves in for a pash later, and Jack totally sees it. Burn.

Jack shows Emily the DC ring, and she confirms that it was indeed David’s. Intrigue.

Oh, and Conrad screaming (like, really fucking screaming) his power over Charlotte is in the running for the best television moment of the year.

Revenge Conrad yells at Charlotte Impetus

No, don’t stop, Conrad. Keep saying it.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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