Once Upon a Time Season 3 Episode 19 – TV Review

OUaT David Snow curse A Curious Thing

I’m not even making it up.

Everyone’s memories are back, and thank God for that.

Let’s get on with it then, guys?

TL;DR The curse is broken and everyone remembers everything now; this includes the gang remembering that Snow had to crush David’s heart to dust to enact the curse herself in the first place (it’s complicated); Henry is a good son to Regina; Hook loses favour with the gang in Storybrooke after his dirty, cursed-y little secret comes out (and almost gets Henry killed).

Almost. Damn.

We’ll start with the Storybrooke plot, because it’ll make more sense that way. Having caught onto Zelena’s time travelling intentions, the gang (Emma, Regina, Snow, David) decides they really need to put some effort into regaining their memories. The way they choose to do this is to have Henry believe in magic again, which should get the ball rolling. Henry, meanwhile, gets pissed off with Emma’s incessant secrecy and tries to skip town, which Hook is happy to help with. The gang catches up to them in time and they use the fairytale book to jog Henry’s memory. It works. Zelena attacks briefly, but Emma uses her magic to fend her off. Then Regina kisses Henry on the forehead and the entire town’s curse is broken. Oh, and Hook has to come clean about his stuck lips, which makes Emma mad for some reason. Meanwhile in flashback to the missing year, Regina, Snow, David, Robin, and Belle infiltrate Rumple’s castle so he can give them advice on how to defeat Zelena. He’s insane, but gives them cryptic clues to chase down Glinda (Galinda?), who is in this realm because Zelena banished her from Oz. Miss Goody Witch explains they need powerful good magic to defeat Zel-pal, which they assume means they need Emma. David decides that they should enact the original curse, and offers his heart to be crushed by Snow to get there. They do. Zelena swoops in at the last moment to add a forgetting potion to the mix, and Regina is able to bring David back to life by splitting Snow’s heart in 2 for them to share.

Because why not?

There are no big sticking points for me this episode. The memory problem is solved, Snow kills David, Henry is an angel to Regina, and Zelena is now more determined than ever to get her shit together.

I’m satisfied.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Emma being the Deus Ex Machina is nothing new. And neither is my boiling hatred for it. I hate how when Glinda’s like “You need some hot-ass magic, bitches” that David and Snow automatically take that to mean Emma.

I know Emma has been shown to be practicing her magic in Storybrooke, but it’s super convenient that she just happens to be able to summon it when nobody else is able to fight Zelena. Just fucking shoot her, Emma. You shot a flying monkey, like, 5 seconds ago. Use the tools you’ve got.

In other “this is only happening because the plot says so” news, Snow’s heart is apparently so snowflake special that it can be split in half to sustain 2 bodies. This is not only idiotic, but it completely invalidates the magnitude of the supposed sacrifice she was making to enact the curse. Fuckin’ weak.

In yet more “this is only happening because the plot says so” news, we find out who sent Hook the note and memory potion: Rumple. He’s locked up in his castle by Zelena, who gives him a memory potion to withstand the oncoming curse (she takes one herself, too). She leaves him alone in the room with it, and Baelfire not only decides to pop into consciousness (which we know he can do), but actually pop out of Rumple’s body. Just long enough to scrawl a quick note to Hook, tie it and the potion to a dove, and then be re-absorbed into his dad. Overly convenient. And gross. And weird.

David is obnoxiously cavalier about killing himself to sorta maybe have a tiny chance of beating Zelena. Martyrdom never looked so breezy.

Emma makes a good point about how Hook should have told her about the kissing curse, but then gives him a big Fuck You by saying she can never trust him again blah blah blah. Oh shut the fuck up and stop ruining things. And if she was really committed to not letting Hook in, she should just go and use her Deus Emma Machina to revive Baelfire, already. You know it’s coming.

I’m sure it’s been covered already, but shooting the flying monkeys into clouds of ash doesn’t kill them, does it? Because if it does, that’s a bit rude.

Rumple’s castle is apparently so trapped up that Robin insists on coming along to use his wily expertise to get in. And then they all just walk in through the front door, which has a single, ineffective trap on it.

Glinda doesn’t really do anything.

Emma is stern towards Henry when she tells him not to question what they’re doing in Storybrooke. Of course, this causes Snow to become worried that Emma is turning into a cold, stressed, horrible mother. Yes, because any relationship that isn’t 100% unqualified, PG bliss is totally unhealthy.

Snow is able to use a magic door which only the pure of heart can pass through. I thought hers was all mouldy from killing Cora? Or did she fix it? I don’t remember things well.

Oh, and Snow closes out the episode by going into labour. Ew.

 

But it’s not all bad:

It only took 8 episodes, but the curse is finally lifted and everyone can stop faffing around about their memories.

Most importantly, Henry remembers Regina now. So she can stop sulking about it. I don’t need any sorrow chunks in my Regina cocktail.

What really impressed me, and displays just how far Once Upon a Time has come since the splotchy, infuriating first season is Henry’s attitude towards Regina. Once he’s got his memories back, she’s the only one he wants to hug. When Zelena shows up, she knocks Regina out, and Henry is frantic in trying to rouse her back to consciousness. And then the ultimate reward: when Regina awakes, she kisses Henry on the forehead, and that’s what sends out the curse-breaking shockwave. Not that same shit from Emma, but it’s Regina, Henry’s actual mother, who matters. Justice.

The flashbacks are actually informative, rather than just wanky. The only greater pleasure than watching Snow kill David would be to watch Emma shoot Henry in the head. And we know that’s never going to happen.

When Snow, David, and Regina are trying to think of ways of getting to Emma, David is diligent in suggesting magic beans and Jefferson’s hat. It’s good to see them paying attention. Of course, Regina is just like “We’re sold out of those,” but it’s the thought that counts.

Best line of the episode goes to Regina, who doesn’t find Snow’s attempt at suggesting alternatives to be very agreeable:
Snow: “There has to be another way to enact it (the curse).”
Regina: “If there were, do you think I would’ve killed my own father?”
Bitch gets shut down.

Regina seems teary when she watches Snow and David say their goodbyes. I presume it’s because she always envisioned herself being the one to kill him.

Flashback Regina is both humble and resourceful when she turns to Snow for advice on defeating Zelena. She’s like “You defeated me, why not Zelena?” Snow is, as you know, fucking useless, so that’s when they have to admit Rumple is the one who gifted them their upper hand over Regina.

Phillip and Sleeping Beauty reveal in the flashback that Zelena had threatened them for info on the Storybrooke crew’s return. When Zelena shows up and menaces the gang (particularly Snow and her baby), she turns Phillip and Sleeping Beauty into flying monkeys. I lol’d.

Regina is getting more intimate with Robin. When Henry finds out his mum is dating Robin Hood, he’s pretty impressed.

Glinda’s advice is to use some powerful, good magic to remove Zelena’s pendant, which is where her strength comes from. So really this whole thing is about stealing a rival ho’s jewellery.

Regina can’t go through the magical door to see Glinda, and just steps through air. I lol’d.

Emma admits to Snow that she kinda doesn’t want Henry to regain his memories so they still have a chance of leaving Storybrooke to live a normal life. Snow is crushed. Which makes me glad.

Oh, and Zelena is the perfect manifestation of how I feel towards Henry (when he’s not being good to Regina).

OUaT Zelena chokes Henry A Curious Thing

It will always live on in our hearts.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

7 responses to “Once Upon a Time Season 3 Episode 19 – TV Review”

  1. Tai-Lin Adams says :

    You often comment on how no one is reading your posts. That is not true. I look forward to your posts as much as I look forward to the show. You are an awesome writer! I love you to death! Are you going to review Salem. If not I may try my hand at it. It won’t be as good as yours, and I don’t want to step on your feet. But I’m a bit of a ranter as well, and I know you have a lot of shows on your plate. If you plan to do it, I would LOVE it! Only 2 episodes so far, but I’m going to give it a chance.

  2. Tai-Lin Adams says :

    By the way, I loved this episode of OUAT. and the last 2 or so, but I agree the stagnation was becoming unbearable! I’m a romantic at heart, but I feel your frustration with Henry. What a fucking brat! Why is it “The Henry Show” and he’; he’s not even a fucking fairy tale character!

  3. Teylen says :

    Nice post, I didn’t really got anything to add.
    Though it’s been also a great episode, lot of nice lines plus Henry being actually nice to Regina.

    Maybe that Zelenas magic stealing Plan would have worked way better if she didn’t well explain it to Hook in such details. @.@;

    I doubt they bring Baelfire back,… it would be a lot “Walking Dead”ish?
    I lol’d a bit at the thought that when they shot down the monkeys, they just killed Phillip, Sleeping Beauty and Little John. ^^;
    And wondered a bit as Henry appeared way more impressed with Charmings sword (he got a new one?) opposed to the fireball slinging major ^^
    It may also be easier to introduce Zelina as Wicked Witch of the West, opposed to well, Zelina. Nice twist of her to put the Good Witch of the South into the North just to troll Glinda 😀

    I still got Hannibal on the list of shows I’d like to read some reviews of yours about ^.^

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      Hannibal is a pleasure all to myself. If it helps, though, I’m finding season 2 to be grating and disappointing compared to season 1. I’m sick of Hannibal being magically a trillion steps ahead of the entire FBI just because the show would come crashing down if he got caught.

      But the gore factor and the delicious Mads Mikkelsen will always keep me coming back.

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