Glee Season 5 Episode 17 – TV Review

Glee Rachel Funny Girl Opening Night

Get it? Because old people cough sometimes?

Oh, shut up, Rachel. Santana’s back. We don’t need you anymore.

In fact, you need her.

TL;DR Santana helps knock Rachel out of her pre-show jitters; opening night goes fabulously; Sue falls in love with Dr Spaceman from 30 Rock; Emma pumps out her baby.

Guess which dead character they name it after?

The central plot this episode centres on Funny Girl’s impending opening night. Rachel makes the mistake of reading Internet reviews and comments (because who would ever be mean about a show on the Internet?) about the preview shows and her confidence dies a horrible, egotistical death. Everyone tries to cheer her up, but it takes a smackdown from Santana to do the trick. Rachel is also nervous because Funny Girl lives or dies on the success of opening night. Predictably, she does well, and the New York Times review is spectacular. Meanwhile, Sue comes to New York to prove a point she made on Sue’s Corner about hating New York. To her surprise, she finds a fellow bitter soul in Chris Parnell, and they bond/bang. Sue eventually has to ditch him to return home. And Will has to leave New York before the Funny Girl performance because Emma goes into labour. She has a boy who they name “Daniel Finn Schuester.”

Oh, and Rachel also pictures Finn to help her sing a sad song in the show. Because Finn will forever haunt this show, apparently.

Compared to the Mercedes Conga Line of Regression from the last 2 episodes, this is a breath of fresh fucking air.

Yes, Rachel gets everything she wants and everyone falls over themselves to support her (except Sue), but as Santana reminds Rachel herself, Rachel is good enough to be a star. And so she is.


Why I hate this episode:

The Sue plot line fills the “bizarre and arbitrary” quota now that all the other characters are busy fawning over Rachel. She just spots Parnell outta nowhere while they’re both trying to scalp their Funny Girl tickets, then follows after him like a lost puppy. Their relationship escalates at a ludicrous pace to the point where he’s willing to go entertain her privately at one of his restaurants just because they both walked out of the same Broadway show. He must be really desperate for pussy.

Although, you’d think a successful restaruant (multiple restaurant) owner in New York City would be a bit more succesful with the ladies.

For someone who has always valiantly ignored most of the criticism flung her way, it’s odd to see Rachel fall into such a deep depression over some lunatic Internet bloggers’ obviously hyperbolic opinions. She’s aware that all the mainstream reviews of the previews were fine, and chooses to focus on the weirdos and wackjob obnoxious malcontents. Fucking log off, bitch.

She has a nightmare where she is insulted by various cameo characters from her past, including Jew Fro kid and that gay bully guy. Blech. I thought we were leaving McKinley behind?

Speaking of not leaving McKinley behind, we go back there briefly to see Sue and Will. Will gives her a spare ticket to New York to come and see Funny Girl. Hopefully Will and Emma’s baby will keep them chained to Lima and this is it for them. If Glee wants to finally reinvent itself away from McKinley, an important component of that should be to not weigh itself down with any McKinely business.

Sue gets a couple of songs and they’re both boring and disappointing. Vogue was nice, but I see now why Sue doesn’t get to sing regularly.

When Rachel falls into her depression, Kurt calls in all the gang to shower her with praise and attention to bring her out of it. Ew.

Oh, and Sidney isn’t great at not putting crushing pressure onto his lead actress mid-show. Good business strategy, Sid.


But it’s not all bad:

If Chris Parnell made me pasta, I’d go there.

Sue and Parnell have sex all over Rachel’s loft while the gang is out partying post-show. I’ll allow it.

Sue tries to burst Rachel’s bubble by belittling her when they all return home from clubbing. Rachel pulls a Santana and stands up for herself with a respectable attempt at a smackdown. Sue takes the hint and retreats.

I liked how Sue only went to New York so she could have something to complain about it first hand. She needed the credibility because she spent a Sue’s Corner segment bagging out New York, but couldn’t really back it up. That’s the exact reason why I went to see all the Twilight movies.

Tina visits the gang to join them for Funny Girl’s opening night. She is apparently enjoying Brown, but she doesn’t like her Pakistani roommate. Is it still racism if it’s POC-on-POC?

She also briefly dated a guy who turned out to be gay. Well, that is her style.

Sue gets best line of the episode when she turns up at the loft and everyone is there: “Hello, losers.” That is all.

Second best line goes to Parnell when he explains to Sue his reasoning for walking out on Funny Girl: “I mean, seriously, if I wanted to see a show about an ugly duckling who gets dumped, I’d just watch Girls.” The only thing keeping that line from being pefect is the implication that Hannah Horvath, as an ugly duckling, will one day become a beautiful swan. That will never happen.

I got my wish: Santana returned to New York without Brittany. I am a prophet.

Oh, and the gang eschew the official Funny Girl after party and go to a gay club to celebrate, instead. The gays worship Rachel, naturally. And she’s not the only one.

Glee Santana Opening night boobs

Never leave us again.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

6 responses to “Glee Season 5 Episode 17 – TV Review”

  1. Lydia says :

    “She also briefly dated a guy who turned out to be guy” *gay. 😉

    I’m so glad Santana’s back too. And I like how she helped Rachel without stepping out of her character. It was good.
    Also, she’s hot as fuck.

    I found the Sue sub-plot annoying, but I agree with you that this was the best episode in a while, after all that Mercedes BS.

  2. HM says :

    I actually really liked this episode! Something I had not been able to say for a while about Glee. Rachel was funny, great acting, Mercedes relegated to her rightful place, no Blaine and Kurt drama… Save for the stupid Sue bullshit nobody cares about, this was great. (Really, how many times does Sue have to have a redemption for it to finally sink in. At least this time she was a bitch and had no sympathetic moment. Just was a bitch.)

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