Glee Season 5 Episode 15 – TV Review

Glee Kurt bash black eye

When you believe.

The bad news is, he’s not dead.

TL;DR Kurt gets gay bashed, but it is surprisingly not a big deal; Rachel quits NYADA because it’s interfering with Funny Girl; Sam and Mercedes overcome some disgusting and abhorrent racism to become a couple again; Blaine and Artie pretend to be relevant.

It’s Blaine’s eternal cross to bear.

We’ll get Rachel’s plot out of the way first, because her selfishness is expanding faster than the Blob (and I don’t mean Mercedes). Funny Girl is almost ready to show, and all Rachel has to do is knock over some NYADA asssessment thing, and she’ll be on schedule. She and Blaine flaunt the criteria for the assessment, one of which is “this is not a fucking duet, you idiots.” Blaine has no life, so he arranges a time to try again. But Rachel’s schedule won’t allow it. One little tantrum at Carmen/Whoopi later, and she’s quit NYADA. Kurt tries to discourage her, but gets a bit sidetracked when he is gay bashed in an alley (heroically saving some poor, other victim. Natch). To my immense shock, he doesn’t really get on his gay suffrage high horse about it. Weird. In contrast to Rachel, though, he’s doing well at school. And the big plot this episode is the reunion of Sam and Mercedes as a couple. Mercedes’ token black friends say she isn’t allowed to date Sam because he’s white, and Mercedes is too much of a weak willed, backwards piece of shit to be like “Umm, it’s 2014. Are you retarded?” So she goes along with it. Her lust for trout lips and abs prevails, though.

As they should.

Okay, so was I the only one frothing at the mouth and hurling empty Ferrero Rocher wrappers at the screen when Blackie 1 and Blackie 2 were spouting their insane, racist bullshit? I couldn’t actually believe what I was watching.

The episode later goes on to have Mercedes change her mind, but Glee actually presents the “You can’t date a white man because interracial relationships are offensive” message without much criticism.

All we get is Sam making an ironic “It’s hard to be a white, heterosexual man these days” line, and then Mercedes chooses love over society.

The fact that these 2 girls advocated and temporarily convinced Mercedes into accepting racial purity is not properly addressed.

Are.

You.

Fucking.

Kidding.

 

Why I hate this episode:

I honestly feel like I’m on crazy pills here. It’s absolutely nuts. Glee is supposed to be progressive, right?

Also, Sam being genuinely curious about the girls’ (including Mercedes’) hair is apparently an offence without equal. Blackie 1 angrily retorts that they all have natural hair, including Mercedes. Which is a bit confusing, because in the “here’s what you missed on” recap, the narrator specifically mentions a time in the past when Mercedes wore a wig.

To add even further to this bizarre, anti-progressive bullshit, is the other srs bsns message of the episode, which is the gay bashing thing. Either Glee is legit about social issues, or it isn’t. You can’t have it both ways, you selfish tools.

The gang spend the beginning of the episode holding a candlelight vigil and memorial for some guy who had earlier gotten gay bashed. This is going to sound heartless, but he didn’t even die. The second time Kurt and Rachel visit the mounting memorial pile, they even discuss how he’s out of the woods hospital-wise on should be fine. Is it a thing to hold candlelight vigils and erect memorials for people who are just random, non-fatal victims of street violence? Where’s Kurt’s memorial?

Oh, that probably has something to do with the fact that his injuries were superficial and he was fine, like, 5 minutes later. Goddammit. He finally gets fucked up, and they don’t even have the balls to make it something truly heinous. At least give the poor snowflake something to complain about. He just shrugs this shit off.

Rachel’s selfishness with regards to NYADA is unbelievable. Considering her dogged and determined characterisation from earlier seasons, it comes off pretty ridiculous that she would abandon her sensibility just because she’s been cast in 1 show. Yes, it’s her dream show, and technically the plan has already succeeded. But does Glee expect us to believe Rache is that (like, that that) stupid?

She’s also a cunt to Whoopi, which is defs not on, bitch.

There’s a joke about George Lucas’ lack of talent. Wow. Really shooting for the stars with that one.

Sam throws a bunch of coins into the East River as part of some wish thing. A random woman admonishes him. Later, Mercedes throws her fucking faux fur coat into the river (it’s a gesture), but Mama Litter Police hasn’t got a thing to say about that. Hypocrisy.

And that’s littering, Mercedes. Rude.

Mercedes’ friends say that her dating a white man would: 1) alienate any black women from buying her music. Because black women in 2014 apparently aren’t ready to accept that kind of thing. And 2) it would be offensive towards black men, implying they’re not good enough or something. Seriously. What the fuck?

And I’m pretty sure anyone’s good enough for Mercedes, if her self will is that appalling.

He doesn’t grandstand about it, but Kurt does snoot around like he’s a martyr for intervening in a gay bashing (when questioned by Burt as to why he’d put himself in danger). Of course.

Sam asks Mercedes why they initially broke up. Oh, honey, it was because you got squashed between seasons. And your character has never really had a place in this show, anyway.

I still can’t stand listening to Kurt sing. His assessment performance was nigh-unbearable. Which is par for the course.

Oh, and I assume NYADA must have a no-reruns policy, because wouldn’t it have been easier for Rachel to have just accepted the fail and then taken the class again? Is she that haughty that she would entirely quit college over one missed assessment? Or is NYADA that strict that a single failed class would ruin you?

 

But it’s not all bad:

At least Kurt gets bashed. We’ll always have that.

Carmen brings the hurt to Blaine and Rachel when they defy the rules of the assessment. She calls them arrogant, and almost flunks them on the spot. God, so close.

Her response to Rachel’s request for special treatment is a flat “Fuck you,” as it should have been.

And to Rachel’s credit, she later describes Carmen as a failed nobody. Digs should go both ways.

The New Glee Kids On The Block (Marley, Kitty, etc) are still yet to materialise. Even if I have to endure another season and a half of this New York trash, if it keeps them away, I’ll take it. Sorry, Kitty.

Best line of the episode goes to Mercedes, when she makes a half-hearted effort to choose her own path down the road of racial sanity: “It’s so messed up that I even took that into consideration.” By “that,” she means apartheid. And yes it was, you fucking rancid garbage bag.

I didn’t care about any of the songs this episode. Which means I didn’t care enough to hate them.

I’m grateful for Kurt’s lack of soap boxing about the gay bashing.

Oh, and I reckon Whoopi must love simply rolling in to Glee so she can slap these little pricks around, then getting the fuck out. Like Jane Lynch, but without the obligation.

Glee Whoopi Goldberg Carmen Bash

Whoopi gets it.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

10 responses to “Glee Season 5 Episode 15 – TV Review”

  1. HM says :

    This episode was ridiculous!! So much bullish! I agree, it was almost unbearable. I skipped through ALL of the performances… except the Rachel and Blaine one, for some reason. I fucking hate Mercedes, Sam couldn’t be any stupider, Rachel is a selfish and idiotic bitch, Kurt is a terrible character and it looks like has now completely forgotten how to sing, Blaine is Blaine… So yeah, thank you Glee for making every character on your show so freaking unlikeable. Carmen and Burt where the only people making any sense… Ugh. I think the only reason anyone keeps watching this show is for the memories of what it was and what it could still be.

    • HM says :

      And to be honest, I didn’t think Rachel made the wrong decision… I would have probably done the same thing… She just had a fucking terrible attitude about it and was horrible to Whoopi. At least they addressed the fact that there is no way she could be the lead on a Broadway show and do good at NYADA.

  2. glee is antiwhite crap says :

    Bury this sh*tty show already.

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