Bates Motel Season 2 Episode 5 – TV Review

Bates Motel Cody and Norman have sex pale

“We can pick up some condoms while we’re there.”

Norman Bates: the ultimate ladies man.

Doesn’t even need no tan.

Or sanity.

TL;DR Cody and Norman have sex; Norma doesn’t like Cody; Norma finds out Nick’s anti-bypass support involves murder, maybe; Romero gets small retribution on Zane; Dylan puts his angst to good use and gets noticed by Zane’s boss.

And sexist me, Zane’s head honcho sibling is a sister, not a brother.

Norman gets saddled with the relationship portion of this episode’s plot. He finds out Cody has a difficult home life with an abusive father. Norma doesn’t approve of people like her, either, but that doesn’t stop Norman from getting his freak on with her. Meanwhile, Norma has her meeting with Nick. He promises to help her stop the bypass. Which makes the obstructive city councillor’s death later in the episode, like, so coincidental. Meanwhile, it turns out it was Romero’s house that was burnt down last episode, and Romero retaliates by beating the shit out of Zane. He’s staying at the Bates Motel due to his newfound homelessness, but some budding sexual tension with Norma is snuffed out when she mentions her association with Nick. Meanwhile, Dylan is still all uppity about being an inbred rape baby. Which probably explains why he so recklessly tries to fight back against a drive-by attack on him and Zane. It puts him in the hospital, but Zane’s sister, Kathleen Robertson, is impressed. And Emma has sex with her weed dealer boyf.

It’s surprisingly un-wheezy.

More Bates Motel, more satisfaction. And no, I’m not bored by that yet.

If anything about this episode bothered me, it’d be Norman’s ease of bedding every hot girl he meets. But it’s not like that’s anything new.


Why I hate this episode:

Cody still seems to be unfazed by Norman’s fucking catatonia. He’s like “Tbh this has happened before,” and she’s cool with that. I understand the boy talent in White Pine Bay might be a little thin (poor Ugly Popular Guy), but there’s got to be someone around that is on a similar hotness level to Norman (nothing special, I’m afraid) who isn’t insane.

I respect Romero’s direct approach in dealing with Zane. But last time he merely threatened him, and it got his house burnt down. What’s a beatdown going to earn him? We know Zane’s a fucking idiot, so it’s inevitable.

And now that Romero’s staying at Bates Motel, I suspect Norma might get caught in the crossfire. She better not, bitch. I will not be pleased.

Norman shows a tiny bit of jealousy over Emma’s relationship with Weed Boy. Bro, no. You missed your chance. And it’s not like you have any reason to be greedy.

Cody is unnecessarily rude to Norma straight away. Norma says nothing more than a hello to her, and Cody gives her a steaming pile of attitude without provocation. That’s gonna put you on the Useless Cunt list, Cody.

Cody tells Norman to wait in the car while she runs home to fetch the lumber money. Norman doesn’t, so he overhears her douche dad being a douche of a dad to her. Rude, Norman.

Norman and Cody each drink one beer while out exploring in the bush. Is this supposed to be scandalous?

Oh, and watching the air speedily whoosh out of Norma and Romero’s flirting when she mentions Nick is the most disappointing thing I’ve experienced this week. And that includes the 9 episodes of Reign I’ve caught up on so far.


But it’s not all bad:

Before that, though. Holy shit, they have incredible chemistry. Friendly but adversarial. Divine.

Norma takes it upon herself to do his laundry out of kindness. Then when she sees the cut on his face from when Zane landed one hit back, she takes him up to the house to help clean him up. She was so close to leaning in for a kiss.

Best line of the episode goes to Romero when Norma sees the cut:
Norma: “What the hell happened to you?”
Romero: “I had to kick the shit out of someone.”
And it was glorious.

In defence of my expectation that Zane will escalate things with Romero, Zane does tell Dylan that he’s satisfied with buring Romero’s house down, even if he did end up getting bashed for it. Maybe he will refocus his attention where it matters: the rival drug thugs?

Zane and Dylan get attacked by a drive-by after going out for lunch. The car passes, but Dylan opens fire. It comes back around, and Dylan defiantly stands in the middle of the road and keeps shooting. He gets run over, natch. But points for effort.

Before Zane arrived at lunch, he was a little bit late, and Dylan looked like the most lonely man in the universe. I will hug you, D.

And after the drive-by, Kathleen shows up in his hospital room and proclaims her admiration of his efforts. I hope she’s much more of a badass than her silly little brother. She shares Zane’s bleach job, though.

Norma momentarily trips on her heels as she’s walking the dock towards Nick’s boat. Like the graceful swan princess she is.

Norma does show some suspicion that her contact from Nick, a biologist, has already prepared an environmental impact study before she even arrives to see him. But she rolls with it, anyway. Because Norma Bates gets shit done.

The biologist’s name is Bryan Fuller.

Norma is sincerely broken up about Dylan’s moving out.

Emma asks Norma for advice on having sex for the first time (Googling came up short, apparently). Norma, despite that memory being painful for her (Caleb, rape, etc), is supportive of her and treats her like a daughter. Mother of the Year nominations committee, please attend.

Emma gets it in with Weed Boy. He’s cute, she’s cute. It’s nice.

Oh, and while Norma/Romero’s sizzle fizzle may have been the most disappointing thing for me this week, seeing Zane get beat the fuck up was exactly the opposite.

Bates Motel Zane Romero bash bleached hair

You’ve gotta respect a man with priorities.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

8 responses to “Bates Motel Season 2 Episode 5 – TV Review”

  1. HM says :

    Norma is everything. She’s just… glorious. That moment when she trips was so fucking endearing, it’s impossible not to love her.
    On a different page, how can Norman manage to look like a toddler and a senior citizen at the same time? That pre-sex scene was just awkward.

  2. Lydia says :

    What is with Norman and dating girls with traditionally boy’s names?

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