The Vampire Diaries Season 5 Episode 17 – TV Review

TVD Luke Liv confused evil

Just smile and nod, blondies. Smile and nod.

Seriously, did I miss an episode or something?

Last week Liv and Luke were all like “Mwaha we are master trolls duping the Mystic Falls gang on the DL.”

And this week they’re like “We’re evil and we have no qualms dispaying that very publicly to you also we’re inexplicably in Mystic Falls and nobody seems to question it.”

Legit, did I miss an episode?

TL;DR Stefan’s other doppelganger gets killed, despite Caroline’s efforts to prevent it; the Travellers are up to something big; Luke and Liv are out in the open about being sketchy witch twins, and they oppose the Travellers; Elena and Damon continue to misunderstand what a breakup is.

It doesn’t involve you spending all your time together and having intermittent sex. Fyi.

The important plot this episode takes Caroline and Enzo to Atlanta where they have to hunt down Tom, the other doppelganger. Caroline, having decided maybe not to be a selfish, “evil is okay when my buddies need it” cunt, takes it upon herself to spare him, instead. Enzo isn’t so lenient, though, and he completes the mission. It turns out Liv, Luke, and their coven have been trying to prevent the Travellers from taking out Tom because the Travellers hate regular witches or something. And Liv says that they’ll next come and abduct Elena as part of whatever their ultimate plan is. Liv unsuccessfully tries to stake Elena. Very disappointing. Liv and Luke are forced to join up with the Mystic Falls gang to stop the Travellers, who still have Stefan and Caroline hostage, don’cha know. Meanwhile, Elena tries to stay away from Damon because she’s too horny over him. This is difficult when they both attend parent/teacher conferences for Jeremy. Damon still wants her, too. And Bonnie begins to mistrust Jeremy’s fidelity because she’s a depowered, whingey bitch with nothing better to do.

Just die, maybe?

My major problem with this episode, as stated above, is that Liv and Luke’s little scheme, which we only found out about last episode, is already over and done with. And without any fanfare.

Liv randomly shows up in Mystic Falls and has a drinking date with Jeremy, and nobody’s like “Hey, why is she here?”

The only thing they find odd about it is that Jeremy is chatting to another girl.

Then when Tyler and Matt try to get a peep in, Liv goes witchy-flashy on them and totally blows whatever cover she was supposed to have.

Blair Waldorf would spit on this shit-tier kind of scheming.


Why I hate this episode:

And when Luke is chit-chatting with Bonnie, he’s just like “Oh yeah, I’m a witch, too lolz. And I’m not going to suspiciously disappear now.”

Why don’t Stefan and Caroline just fuck the Travellers up and leg it? At the end of the episode, Sloan (I’ve been misspelling her as “Sloane”) does some ritual that kills all the Travellers except herself. If Stefan and Caroline don’t get up and leave now, then they’re beyond any help.

This episode also seems to be pushing the Stefan/Caroline relationship as something romantic. While the shipper in me welcomes it, I would prefer for them not to go there. Their platonic friendship has been a key element of TVD ever since Caroline became a vampire, and to spoil it all now for some arbitrary soap operatics would be disgusting. Caroline needs to get with Enzo, anyway.

Speaking of Enzo, did Caroline really think that a little neck snap would be enough to keep Enzo off her and Tom’s back? No shocks whatsoever when, as Caroline has almost gotten Tom to freedom, Enzo returns and kills him.

Of course everything that happens in the world revolves around Elena. At least Liv is grudging to admit it. I don’t even care what the Travellers are doing at this point. The fact that Elena is at the centre of it proves that whatever it is, it’s trash. Just like her.

Bonnie does fucking nothing until the final scene of the episode. She just sits around at college and whines about how Jeremy isn’t texting her back or some shit.

Elena and Damon need to figure out how to actually be broken up. She did it with Stefan easily enough.

Luke hasn’t made a move on Matt or Tyler yet. I’m growing impatient.

Elena berates herself and Damon for being bad parents to Jeremy. Oh, the melodrama.

The Travellers apparently hate normal witches because they draw power from nature, thereby poisoning it. Yeah, because drinking buckets of weeks-old blood and mass suiciding yourselves is much more appealing.

Oh, and when Damon has a go at Jeremy about being unconcerned with school, he plays the old “my life is continually fucked up by supernatural shit” card to excuse himself. So was Elena’s, dude. And Caroline’s. And Bonnie’s. And they figured it out. Stop being so bloody selfish.


But it’s not all bad:

It does make me happy to know that at least one character in this show is facing academic issues because of their activities. I’d love to get a look at the girls’ college reports sometime soon. When was the last time they went to class?

Sloan’s killed all the Travellers, so my expectations of witch mortality on TVD have been met. And I won’t miss their constant, ominous chanting. Shut the fuck up.

When all the Travellers pass through Bonnie in the final scene, it causes her so much pain that she passes out. I enjoyed it.

And then a man materialises from her shadow. I presume this is Marcos, the Traveller leader we’ve heard about.

I’m not sad that Tom got snuffed out in the same episode we met him. He was a bland, nothing character. And we do not need more Stefans in this world.

Liv almost kills Elena, so that’s something worth praising. She’s also a gin drinker, which I can relate to.

Best line of the episode goes to Liv. Damon accosts her to stop her killing Elena, then starts torturing her. Elena and Damon then end up bickering, and Liv pleads for what any rational person would want in that situation: “Oh God, just kill me, already.” I’m glad they didn’t.

Matt, Tyler, and Jeremy force a cover-blown Liv and Luke to help them keep Elena safe from the Travellers. Any chance to get Luke closer to Matt and Tyler (or maybe Jeremy?) is acceptable. Even if it means doing something to…ugh, help Elena.

Enzo, while flirty with Caroline, is going along with the Travellers’ scheme because they’ve said they can help him find Maggie, an Augustine researcher who was kind to him (and therefore the love of his life. Obviously). If it means a doppelganger’s snapped neck, then I can support this schmaltz.

When Damon proposes to Elena that Jeremy may be cheating on Bonnie, Elena says there’s no way Jeremy is a cheater. Then a teacher at the conference says that Jeremy’s been cheating. Choke on your words, Elena.

Stefan is proud of Caroline for being unable to murder Tom. In fact, that’s what he was hoping for. It’s cute, but Stefan better be careful: his martyrdom is beginning to show again.

Elena resolves again to leave Damon and their toxic relationship behind. Yeah, we’ll see what that’s worth.

Oh, and at least Stefan and Caroline would have a more solid relationship than “because fate.”

TVD Stefan Caroline ship sleep together

But if Stefan doesn’t immediately revert to constantly destroying his life in pursuit of Elena, then the entire TVD universe will collapse.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

11 responses to “The Vampire Diaries Season 5 Episode 17 – TV Review”

  1. Lydia says :

    I like Stefan and Caroline as just friends, because SERIOUSLY. It IS possible for a girl and guy to JUST STAY FRIENDS, CW.

    Besides. Enzo was doing some major flirting, and I am completely on board with that ship. And we already know it’s possible, since she slept with Klaus.
    “From what Damon tells me, I am your type. Well travelled, charming accent, dodgy morals.”

    I already find Liv a better witch character than Bonnie ever was. (But that’s not very hard to accomplish.)

    Oh, and as far as the character’s college life goes… Well, I’m convinced they had to compel their ways out of high school. Otherwise, there’s no way they passed. Why don’t they just do the same for Jeremy?

  2. HM says :

    This episode sucked, the plot is too messy right now. So many questions: How can there be multiple Doppelgangers alive? Aren’t vampires technically dead, thus allowing for Tom to be born… so wouldn’t there be a baby Elena somewhere since she is a vampire.. or somethibg? How come Tom, being a supernatural being since he’s a vampire, didn’t pass through Bonnie? I don’t know what’s happening and I’m so over the doppelganger nonsense.
    And Elena is a fucking selfish, hypocritical cunt and a part of me died when Liv said that the world does revolve around her. I don’t know if Nina Dobrev is the best actor ever or what, but she sure has made us all love Katherine and hate Elena. She’s an idiot. The best part was the twins, maybe Luke will make Tyler stop being a little bitch all the time… to be HIS little bitch. Stefan is so bland… Seriously, they better bring Katherine back.

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      I’m hoping that the shadow man who emerges from Bonnie will somehow be linked to what happened to Katherine. So we can get her back.

      And nice catch on Tom not passing through Bonnie. He really should have. Especially after we dealt with all that shit about Elena not being able to wear the immortality rings 2 seasons ago. So inconsistent.

      • HM says :

        Exactly!They need to fucking take it down a few notches, It’s getting confusing. Like Heroes season three crap. Also, I just noticed I said Tom was a vampire when I meant doppelganger, but I know you got me 😛

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