Once Upon a Time Season 3 Episode 14 – TV Review
It’s a David episode.
And a filler episode.
Why must these terrible powers meet?
TL;DR Flashback David helps Rapunzel conquer her fears; Present David conquers his own fears; Emma and the gang are on the trail of the Wicked Witch and Rumple; Zelena (Zalina?) keeps her nefarious plans in motion.
Seriously, is it Zelena or Zalina? Help me.
The flashback takes us to 3 months into the return to the Enchanted Forest. Snow’s just told David she’s pregnant, and he fears he’ll fail this new child just like he failed Emma. To quell this fear, he follows Robin’s tale of a root that can eliminate fears. He stumbles upon Rapunzel’s tower (the episode is titled “The Tower”) in the woods where the root is, and finds out she is besieged by an evil witch. Which turns out to be a manifestation of her fears, which is what the root does: it personifies your fears so you can defeat them. She does, and David returns her to her parents. Aww. In present day Storybrooke, Zelena pinches some of that root from Gold’s safe and slips it to David. He stabs his doppelganger, then Zelena spirits away the broken blade he used to take as a symbol of his courage (it’s powerful or something). Meanwhile, Emma and Hook find Zelena’s farm house hideaway. They bring in Regina and David to investigate the storm cellar, but are too late to catch Rumple.
Zelena also has some exceptional sexual tension with Rumple, so I suppose we can rule him out as her father. Maybe.
So yeah, it’s a David episode. And a filler episode.
Do you need anymore reason to hate it?
Why I hate this episode:
There are only 2 relevant plot points. 1) The gang finding evidence of Rumple in the storm cellar, proving he’s alive. This only happens in the final seconds of the episode. And 2) Zelena getting a symbol of David’s courage by way of the broken sword he uses to defeat his Night Root ghoul. The entire episode exists solely so Zelena can get a sword hilt. Talk about taking the long way.
Rapunzel is a fucking idiot. She screams for help when she sees David in the forest below. He climbs up into her tower, but once he’s there, she’s like “Nah. I’m not going. You can’t help me. It’s dangerous. You should go. Go on, scat.” What the fuck do you want, bitch?
If I had an evil doppelganger of myself, I’m pretty sure I’d make it out with it at least once before killing it. Wasteful, guys.
Hook and Emma indulge in some UST, but still can’t get there for even a peck on the cheek. Hurry up.
Emma makes Regina babysit Henry while she, Hook, and David search for the Wicked Witch. Fuck, Emma. That’s cold.
Why is most of Storybrooke chilly, while Zelena’s farm house is absolutely blanketed in snow? I live in Australia, so winter for us is, like, you have to wear a t-shirt instead of a singlet, but that seems strange to me.
Rapunzel doesn’t give a good reason for why she grew her hair ridiculously long.
When Flashback David confesses his fears to Snow, she’s like “We’re in this together, boo.” Obviously. Has David really not figured that out yet?
Oh, and Emma appears in Flashback David’s stress dream wearing a pimped out princess dress. After being Miss Jacket for 2 and a half seasons, it looks pretty silly.
But it’s not all bad:
Still, though. Pimped out dress.
I reckon David’s looking a bit hotter than he used to maybe. That’s something.
The best part of the episode is the scene between Rumple and Zelena. She reveals that she has the Dark One’s dagger, so she has power over him. She then sits down and gives him a shave with it (horribly impractical), explaining that she used to do the same thing for her alcoholic daddy-o. Zelena pretty much does everything but flash her vag, so I’d like to think Once Upon a Time wouldn’t be sick enough to allow Rumple to turn out to be her father. But still, the way she says that she used to do the same thing for daddy might give the incest shippers hope, yet.
In order to spike David’s tea with Night Root, Zelena has to steal it from Gold’s safe at the shop. She distracts Belle and nicks it using magic. I applaud the simplicity.
She tells Rumple that she’s after the same thing he’s spent his whole life searching for. Baelfire (who is still unaccounted for, fyi)?
Flashback David’s response to the stress dream is to go drink alone in the stables. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.
Robin is the one who tells him about the Night Root. I’d like to believe that Robin was trying to sabotage him. Any evil points he can rack up would inch him closer to being a good enough beau for Regina. And he needs a lot before he’s even gonna get close.
Oh, and Hook and Emma must have been watching The Originals. It’s not a good thing.