The Originals Season 1 Episode 17 – TV Review

The Originals Francesca Peta Sargeant

Not this fabulous bitch.

It’s probably a wise move for the Jabberwocky to abandon the sinking ship that is Once Upon a Time in Wonderland.

And we needed a replacement bitch now that Rebekah‘s fucked off for good.

TL;DR Elijah manages to unite all the factions; Hayley seems committed to the werewolves now (hussey); Davina is starting to regain her confidence and magic; Marcel fancies himself a dark horse in the bid for New Orleans; Klaus lazes around and has sex with Genevieve for a bit.

Then allies himself with a pathetically easy-to-impress Jackson.

Elijah carries the episode as he tries to get back to work following all that Rebekah drama. To curb the fighting between the factions, he arranges a peace summit. Hayley breaks it up after finding out the werewolves weren’t invited. In a second attempt, he throws a bitchin’ party and everyone comes. Some minor scuffling occurs between the vampires and werewolves (who have been cured by Celeste’s potion/smoothie, you know), but Elijah manages to get them all (including new human faction leader, the Jabberwocky) to sign on the dotted line. In blood, of course. This is a vampire show. Meanwhile, Marcel is trying to secure allies so he can rise from slumdog obscurity again. He has sex with Camille and has Josh convince Davina to start using magic again, then brings in Thierry, because the poor guy has nothing better to do. And Klaus has apparently found his apathy (Rebekah could have used some of that, bro). He has Genevieve on retainer for sex, but he does engineer a scheme with Jackson, who buys Klaus’ offer of magic to make werewolves super strong all the time always (to the detriment of vampires, even) with no hesitation.

Gullibility is in the air.

You know what? I’m just glad that we can finally get over all that “Blargh, Rebekah betrayed me” shit that’s been bogging us down for the past 3 goddamn episodes.

Yes, it took sacrificing Rebekah to get there, but it’s the change we needed.

Now we can remember that there actually are other things going on in this city.


Why I hate this episode:

Hayley is the greatest disaster case this episode. She’s all but entirely binned her romance with Elijah in favour of Jackson. Which is something I feared. Yeah, Jackson’s pretty. But Elijah is, like, totes more prettier. And you actually know Elijah. Jackson is some skeazy arranged marriage guy who’s spent most of his life as an animal. Wrong choice, bitch.

Jackson’s gullibility is astounding. Klaus shows him that ring of his mother’s. He claims that it is a werewolf version of a daylight ring, so it would grant immunity/control over shifting. This entices Jackson. Later, when he’s talking with Oliver, Jackson claims that they could harvest this magic to make werewolves wolf-form strong even when they’re not shifted. And make their bites lethal 24/7 (I thought they already were?). Yes. Because Klaus would definitely offer you something that would do that. Silly boy.

Oliver hits on Davina at the party. Isn’t she, like, 12? Ew.

Josh is still around.

Genevieve has gone from (albeit obstructive) badass bitch babe to snivelling, jealous booty call of Klaus’. She appears to be legitimately jealous of Camille. Oh, just die, already. It’s inevitable.

The Crescents are redneck and povo and gross. Yet another reason to choose Elijah over Jackson, Hayley.

Peta Sergeant’s American accent is still pretty shaky shit.

Keiran is still without a cure for his hex. He either needs to go on a rampage or something, or just die. I’m over it.

Diego gets some slapdash backstory about how his family was killed by werewolves. Does anyone watching The Originals give even half a shit about that?

Josh has a go at that, too, when he tells Davina how he was kicked out of home for being gay or whatever. An answer to a question nobody asked.

Elijah and Hayley almost reginite their sexual tension while dancing at the party, but Jackson whisks her away, which she allows. Fuck both of you.

Sophie still isn’t back yet.

Oh, and Davina is still inexplicably super powerful, as demonstrated by her practicing of magic reinvigorating an entire room of roses, when Monique and the other Harvest girl could only do one at a time. Okay, why?


But it’s not all bad:

While Monique is pretty much the mayor of Cunt City, I will give her some points for intercepting Oliver’s advances on Davina and taking them for herself. Own it, bitch.

The best part of the episode is Marcel and Camille’s sex. They get drunk together and bond over being alone. Then bang, naturally. And they’re actually seemingly mature about it. Camille understands it would be terrible for Klaus to find out about it, so says it’s a one-time thing. But she did like it, and doesn’t regret it. What? Adult behaviour? Is this even The CW?

Marcel notices a dreamcatcher thing in Camille’s apartment, which we saw Genevieve using to spy on the sex. He takes it and smashes it. What a gentlemen.

Thierry initially rejects Marcel’s offer of allying with him and the vampires who were disloyal to Klaus. Marcel later realises that Thierry is out here on his own, because the vampires have split from New Orleans. Thierry agrees to join Marcel, because he’s lonely. Sadly, they don’t go out and get drunk and then have sex. I suppose Marcel must only like blondes.

Francesca (Peta/Jabberwocky) brings some welcome sass to things. She’s a drug lord who also owns a casino. She will be the new human faction representative, now that Keiran is out of action. She flirts like crazy with Elijah. Hayley who?

She gets best line of the episode at the party, when Oliver and Diego start trading barbs: “Please, boys. At least fight over something interesting. Me, perhaps?” I would.

She also gets second best line, when she presumes Elijah’s greeting to her when she arrives at the party: “Thank you. I think I look stunning, too.” She does.

Keiran is beginning to totally lose control of himself. He attacks Camille in a blind rage. Camille’s pleas for Klaus to help her find a cure continue to be unsuccessful. Aww. Marcel tells Camille he’s had a boundary spell placed on Keiran’s hideaway to keep her safe.

Elijah almost kills Oliver, and Jackson almost kills Diego. Drat. So close.

Oh, and at least there’s still one hot blonde around. She’s all we need.

The Originals Camille blonde

Keiran, could you help us out with that?

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

7 responses to “The Originals Season 1 Episode 17 – TV Review”

  1. Lydia says :

    Hayley bounces back between being somewhat cool and just plain annoying. This episode was definitely annoying.

    And what is with all these new relationships? I mean, Marcel and Camille were super hot together, but damn. Rebekah JUST left, and he supposedly was in love with her enough to risk everything for her. I’m glad he’s not whinging, but I’d like at least some clarification of him showing remorse about their break-up.

    And Hayley. WHAT are you doing? What, what, WHAT are you doing? She’s a stupid bitch.

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