Bates Motel Season 2 Episode 3 – TV Review

Bates Motel Norma Vera Farmiga beautiful

For once, a sincere hyperbole.

Gentlemen suitors gather on up.

Norma is ready for some lovin’.

Surprisingly, Norman isn’t on the list.

TL;DR Norma starts making friends, some of the male persuasion; Norman finds last episode‘s Checkout Chick to be a new replacement for Bradley; the drug wars escalate; Norma’s brother Caleb is in town, and cons the crap out of Dylan.

Does Dylan even know that the word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary?

The episode is titled “Caleb,” so naturally he’s the featured player. He meets Dylan at the motel, but when Norma gets home, she isn’t very happy to see him (read: she chucks his incestuous ass out). Dylan doesn’t know about that, though, so is all too happy to pal around with his long lost uncle. Caleb gives him some bogus real estate opportunity story, and Dylan buys into it. Then Dylan goes home and learns he used to rape Norma and he is also Dylan’s father. Tsk. Meanwhile, Emma finally gets some screentime by organising a beachside memorial for Bradley (her fake suicide note has been found). It doesn’t help her get any closer to Norman’s dick, though, because Checkout Chick is hogging all that attention. Meanwhile, Norma bonds with Christine, the now-quit director of South Pacific (she quit because one of the organisers forced her to cast someone else over Norma. A crime if there ever was one). She introduces Norma to some people at a party. One of them is her own brother, who shows interest (see above). Norma also has a nice encounter with Nick. Choices choices. Oh, and Zane’s “message” last episode lands him with 2 “messages” of rebuttal from Nick’s operation. Zane’s idea is to keep raising the stakes.

Hey, hair bleach isn’t cheap. You gotta be on top if you want to keep the cash rolling in.

I don’t know what it is about Bates Motel that makes it so much more enjoyable to watch than any other show I’ve got on the go.

Oh, wait. Yes I do. It’s Vera Farmiga. Good God, she’s perfect.

The day she crosses me will be an unrivaled tragedy. I pray it never comes.


Why I hate this episode:

Dylan doesn’t seem to share my opinion, though. When Norma tries to inform him that “Hey, Caleb is a rape machine,” Dylan, albeit predictably, doesn’t believe her. I understand his hesistation, but he saw the way she reacted when she saw him earlier. That wasn’t simply her being bitter about Caleb apparently being lax in protecting her from an abusive father (the story Caleb spins to Dylan). Come on, bro. She’s not such a bad chick. I thought we got past this last season?

Dylan’s slide down the stupidity slope doesn’t end there. He’s also swallowed the absolute load of shit that Caleb told him about some vague real estate opportunity in fucking Costa Rica. Dylan can’t get his cheque book out fast enough to hand over $11,500 (with the intention of giving him even more). What the fuck? You literally just met this man. Are you really that desperate for familial attention?

While I initially found Norman’s innate ability to attract hordes of hot women for no reason to be cute and silly, it’s getting a bit ridiculous now. Unless Checkout Chick has some ulterior motive (which Bradley, Emma, and Miss Watson never did), I think this latest hottie is a harem too far.

Zane is a dipshit, not like that’s a shock to anyone. He decides, against Dylan’s suggestion, to start planning an as-many-as-I-can-kill massacre against the rival operation in retaliation for their retaliation. I don’t know, dude. White Pine Bay isn’t that big. How long until you both end up with nobody left to slaughter?

And Zane is the big boss’s brother. Shouldn’t honcho man be getting a say in this?

Norma not getting the role in South Pacific is disgusting. I wanted more singing.

Is Bradley really gone? I hated her boring brown hair, but I’m not that vindictive.

Oh, and Checkout Chick’s gay friend makes a pass at Norman, and he violently rebuffs him. Don’t close off those shipping opportunities, baby.


But it’s not all bad:

Checkout Chick and her gay friend like to make out when they’re drunk. Just like real life.

The whole memorial is kind of fantastic, but only because it goes so amusingly wrong. Emma is disgusted that almost everyone who shows up only came to have a party on the beach (Checkout Chick didn’t even know Bradley. She just wanted to party). Even better, Emma confesses to Norman that she still hates Bradley, even if she did commit suicide. I like her honesty.

Emma at least gets a romantic distraction of her own. A cute, young weed dealer shows intersest. Once she binge drinks herself to vomiting point, he offers to walk her home. Sadly for him, she doesn’t buy any weed.

Norma does some good work on the romance front herself. Christine’s brother is smitten enough to offer her dessert at the garden party. He’s a keeper.

When she’s about to leave the party, she bumps into Nick. He admires the way she bitched out the city council about the bypass, which he also opposes. Norma takes the opportunity to swap deets with him so they can talk some more. I think Norma Bates can handle 2 guys simultaneously.

Christine quits as director of South Pacific due to the outrageous casting decision. She then invites Norma for 11am martinis so they can get to know each other. I want to go to there.

Norma tells Christine that she’s worried her reputation has been tainted by the whole Shelby fiasco. Christine tells her not to give a fuck about what the gossipy cunts in town have to say. You go, girl.

Norman got cast in the chorus. Good on him.

Dylan’s advice to Zane in regards to the drug war is to simply stop the fighting and focus on cultivating the best product. Zane fucks that right off, but kudos to Dylan for trying.

Checkout Chick had assumed Norman was gay. I get it.

The standout moment of the episode is the ending scene between Norma and Dylan. Their shouting match is as heated and cruel as you’d expect for the Bates household.

Best line of the episode goes to Norma, whose maternal instincts have never been exceptional:
Dylan: “You’ll say anything to get your own way!”
Norma: “My own way!? I have never gotten my own way ever. And that includes being your damn mother!”

Norman arrrives around this point and starts beating Dylan to a pulp. Then Norma has to admit the truth to Dylan about his paternity. That shuts him up.

Bates Motel Dylan Caleb dad realisation face

I totally picked it, btw.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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