Glee Season 5 Episode 10 – TV Review
See? Tina gets it.
Which means “it” is dumb, trite, and entirely idiotic.
“It” is Glee, if you hadn’t gotten there yet.
TL;DR A-fucking-nother Tina episode sees more graduation stuff nobody cares about; Tina and Sam hookup, though; Rachel and Santana continue to duke it out, but they’re already starting to come around; Will and Emma conceive a child.
Oh, yeah. I forgot Emma was a thing.
The episode is titled “Trio,” which means Blaine, Sam and Tina are now a trio of BFFLs or something. Scared at the impending dissolution of their friendship post high school, Tina demands they do a BFFL lock-in at the school to create memories. It gets busted by a horny Becky. But Tina and Sam are also horny, so hook up. When Blaine finds out, he goes ballistic. I think he’s just jealous of Tina in that instance. Things work out okay, though. Meanwhile, Will and Emma have a lot of sex to get a bun baking in that forgotten character’s oven. They get there. And with Nationals only a week away. Phew! Meanwhile in New York, Rachel and Santana are still trading barbs. Rachel moves in with Adam, but treats him about as well as you’d expect Rachel Berry to treat someone with whom she’s in a friendship of convenience. Kurt dissolves Pamela Landsbury amidst this turmoil, and forms a (wait for it) trio with only himself, Adam, and Dani. Rachel and Santana make a little baby resolution to try and be better to each other for their friends’ sake.
And by “little,” I mean “briefly mentioned in one scene and then seemingly abandoned.”
Oh well, at least there isn’t another Worst Glee Song Ever this episode.
Not for lack of trying, though.
Why I hate this episode:
The episode pretty much starts out with an utterly appalling rendition of Jumpin’ Jumpin’ by the McKinley trio. Vile. Extra special bonus demerit points for Glee forgetting that Jumpin’ Jumpin’ was a Destiny’s Child single when Destiny’s Child wasn’t yet only a trio. Glee really can’t get anything right, can it?
The Wilson Phillips song at the end is also underwhelming. Not abominable, but my suppressed, inner, 90s hipster was displeased.
I think we can all agree that Tina’s had enough spotlight time this season. Graduation and Nationals are only a week or so away, so with any luck she’ll just graduate and fuck off. It worked on one Asian. It could work again.
Kurt names his new trio One Three Hill. Oh. My God. Stop existing.
Dani/Demi Lovato’s hair somehow got worse. Has she been taking lessons from Lena Dunham?
Tina has crap shoes during the Jumpin’ Jumpin’ bit.
Blaine’s reaction to Tina and Sam kissing is the same level as everyone’s reaction to Tina accidentally toppling Artie last episode. What is with these kids? Who gives a fuck? It’s so obvious Blaine is just jealous because he wants to be the one making out with Sam. But to add insult to idiocy, Glee doesn’t even play that angle. Weak.
Blaine wears his superhero costume when breaking into the school for the lock-in. Don’t fucking remind us.
They sing Don’t You Forget About Me during the lock-in. They don’t do a bad job of it, but come on. Really? Is Glee even capable of doing anything surprising or new?
Kurt tries to mediate a meeting between Rachel and Santana. Predictably, he himself ends up derailing it and making it all about him.
Oh, and Blaine is yet to act on his apparently very concerning discovery of Adam and Kurt’s kissy selfie from last episode. No, faffing around with Tina is much more vital.
But it’s not all bad:
Rachel gets to call Kurt a traitor. That was fun.
As rude as her treatment of Adam is, I can’t stand his character, so go on. Treat him like the stunt cast manbag he is.
At least Adam eventually gets the balls to tell Rachel to knock it off. He claims he’s done with Rachel and anything about her. He’s only letting her stay with him for the rent money. It’s what she deserves.
Rachel and Santana have a semi-touching moment near the end where they both miss each other being their best girl friends. But they’re both too proud to end the feud. Aww.
Best line of the episode goes to Kitty, who reacts to Unique’s latest super sassy one-liner (I don’t remember what it was. Something with “gurrrrrll” in it?): “Why does everything you say have to sound like that?” Thank. You.
Sue steals what few scenes she has. As per usual. She is utterly revolted at the thought of Will and Emma banging on school grounds.
When she vetoes the student council proposed lock-in, she arbitrarily blames Obamacare. Wake up, people!
Becky crashes the trio’s lock-in and forces them to play Twister while slamming energy drinks. It sure beats whatever the fuck the trio were going to do (sing some more obvious songs, I presume. Have they done that Vitamin C one yet?).
Adam and Rachel’s rendition of Barracuda was fun enough.
It’s nice to know Emma still exists. Even if it is only as a jizz receptacle.
Oh, and the only thing better than Kurt’s band/s doing something enjoyable is them doing something awful. So I have even more ammunition to hate him. You can never have too much.