Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 22 – TV Review

PLL Jessica sneaks on Spencer A

Being a secretive weirdo is a Dilaurentis family tradition.

Hanna Fashionistard Counter:
Good grief, this makes it 3 in a row that don’t blow.
Our count is now 10 deplorable, 12 adorable.

So, we have a new A suspect.

She’s a mature age student.

Induce your groans now.

TL;DR Jessica Dilaurentis is apparently A; Spencer in on full “I’m a drug addict” lockdown; Aria is a stupid slut brat; Hanna can’t get her love life together; Mike and Mona break up.

I wanted Mike and Mona sex, not dissolution.

Here’s your plot split hit:

Yet another Aria-heavy episode sees our least favourite Liar ho-ing it up with some random guy while on a college tour. She does manage to get her hands on a copy of Ezra’s manuscript when she comes home, though, and he’s fingered Jessica as the most likely A suspect. Makes sense. Or not.

Spencer is kept home with a sponsoer (TVD’s Kol) to help her with outpatient treatment. They have disappointingly little sexual tension. Spencer has some flashback hallucinations to the night Alison disappeared, and is now convinced that she attacked Alison with a shovel. Despite the fact that Alison is, you know, alive.

Hanna runs into Cute Cop, who tells her about the note he found about Alison being alive. She later finds out it was Paige. Meanwhile, she has a date with Travis, but it’s ruined by all the dramz going on.

And Emily plays Sherlock for the sudden Mike and Mona break up. She confronts Mona, who reveals that she was dating him at Ezra’s instruction. It was so he wouldn’t detail all the illegal shit she did in his book (which he tells Aria is no longer being published, anyway). But then she fell in lurve.

Mona doesn’t know how to love anything but designer shoes. Which is all anyone can really aspire to.

Well hello, it’s another Aria episode. So Aria is the problem.

Not only is she still convinced that Ezra isn’t A, and not only has she convinced the Liars, but now even Mona thinks he was simply a dangerously zealous writer.

I know Aria’s opinion didn’t influence Mona’s, but if I don’t get to blame Aria for everything wrong in my life, then it isn’t a life worth living.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Seriously? Not even Mona is suspicious of Ezra possibly being A? I feel like I’m on crazy pills, here.

Aria’s entire subplot with the guy at the college is arbitrary trash. She just drinks and sluts around for a little while because she’s sad over the Ezra thing. It may not come as a shock to you to learn that I don’t fucking care.

The guy, Riley, is typical Aria bait. He’s hipstery, weedy, and “sensitive.” He wants to go to music school instead of Syracuse college like his parents want. So rebellious, wow. He also plays acoustic guitar at random times. And his guitar has a name. Somebody call A to come kill him, please.

Aria also does some compliment fishing, a crime so heinous that I cannot even speak further of it.

And she and Riley cleant out the minibar of her hotel room. Which Byron is paying for. Rude.

Spencer went to rehab for 3 whole days. Is that even a thing?

Now she has total lockdown outpatient treatment at home with a hot, slightly older man. Didn’t Veronica and Peter learn anything from Ian? Or Wren?

Conversely, Spencer barely flirts with him at all. Poor show, my dear.

Mike and Mona should have been given more opportunities to gross out the Liars with their loving.

Mike is also a little bitch when Mona dumps him. And to double down on the shit factor, he loses his anger against Aria (he perceives her disapproval of Mona to be the reason for the breakup) by the time she comes home. Pfft.

Mona tells Emily that the one juicy detail she got out of working with Ezra is that he apparently knows who stole the game Mona played at Radley. They thought it was Cece, but it isn’t. I might be showing my lack of commitment here, but what are they talking about? I’d be grateful if someone filled me in. Does PLL really expect me to keep up with something this insignificant?f

Veronica is suprised that Spencer would sneak out to see her friends. Oh, honey.

When Spencer’s telling the Liars about how she thinks she attacked Alison on the night she disappeared, Emily rightly points out that Alison is alive, so who gives a fuck? She is predictably ignored. Rude.

Oh, and Jessica Dilaurentis is A? Fucking why?

 

But it’s not all bad:

On the other hand, Jessica Dilaurentis could be A. Holy shit.

I wouldn’t have believed it if she hadn’t snuck into Spencer’s room and crept up on her in the final scene. Veronica comes in just in time for Jessica to scurry away, but things are still pretty fucked up.

She adds fuel to the claim when she cryptically implies that she is responsible for an A note Spencer receives in her bed. She’s a bad bitch.

After being bitched out when sneaking home, Spencer asks Veronica what it is she and Peter had to “cover up” about Spencer doing the summer while she was wacked out (that summer includes the night Alison disappeared). Veronica won’t tell her. I want to know.

While I would ordinarily say anything Aria demands of somebody should be met with refusal, her demanding of Ezra to fuck off outta Rosewood is actually something I can get behind. Quick, Ezra. Run before PLL somehow finds a way to get you 2 back together. For the love of Paris, please.

Dean, Spencer’s sponsor, is Kol from TVD. The American accent is a bit sad, but I’m glad to see him getting work. Hey, if Spencer doesn’t want him, maybe Aria can go for him. He is an authority figure.

Best line of the episode goes to Emily, who lays a pretty decent smackdown on Ezra near the start of the episode: “There’s an assignment due today, but I won’t be staying for the class. Will you make sure a real teacher gets this?” How does it feel? Getting put down by Emily?

Roma is back, and she briefly questions Hanna if the anonymous note about Alison was from her. Hanna says no, obviously. Roma does admire Hanna’s resilience, though. Aww.

Hanna figures out that the handwriting from the note belongs to Paige, and confronts Emily about having told Paige about Alison. Busted.

Spencer receives a letter from Toby, and from the look on her face after reading it, it doesn’t appear to be good news. Good. Dean’s right there. Get on it.

The A stinger shows A trimming and bagging a wedding dress. It’s a nice day for it.

Hanna’s date with Travis may have gone poorly, but she does make sure to kiss him goodnight. Hopefully Travis isn’t gonna be a little sook about it.

Spencer’s hallucination/flashback shows her running Alison down and bashing her with the shovel. Enough to get blood splashed on her own face. She wears it well.

Oh, and I really do want to give Hanna the sartorial slapping I know she deserves, but with looks like this, I am simply unable. Damn her.

PLL Hanna fashion

We can hold out hope for a climactic crash and burn.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

6 responses to “Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 22 – TV Review”

  1. loserbear says :

    The board game that was like a map, I think. I don’t remember it getting stolen, but so many things mush together in my brain.

  2. chastitybelieveremily says :

    I’m just happy Lydia has a role in something

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