The Originals Season 1 Episode 13 – TV Review

The Originals Oliver shirtless

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I didn’t know The Originals needed an influx of shirtless hunks.

But I’m not complaining now that they’re here.

Except for Jackson. Fuck that guy.

TL;DR Hayley apparently has a werewolf arranged marriage (with said Jackson); Celeste kidnaps Klaus and Rebekah; Monique comes back to life, but kills Sophie; Priest gets hexed with the same magic that sent his nephew crazy.

Poor, squishy humans.

The main game of the episode is Celeste organising her troops to hammer the Originals into submission and take back the Quarter for the witches. She has that old bitch witch Bastardiana put the Sean hex on Priest, which kind of pisses Klaus off. Slinky, whose name is Genevieve, tells Camille to stab Klaus in the heart with Mr Hat’s curved blade to earn a cure, but she doesn’t. When Klaus threatens a recently resurrected Monique‘s life, Sophie stabs him with it, and Klaus is abducted. Meanwhile, Hayley holds a full moon party for her inverse werewolf family. Celeste sets the house on fire, putting Hayley and her apparently betrothed new friend Jackson in danger. Meanwhile, Rebekah is also at the party, and Genevieve organises for her to get mauled by werewolves and also abducted. Celeste gives Elijah the choice of which of the 3 to save, and he picks Hayley. Later, Sophie tries to leave town with Monique, but Monique is drinking the Celeste Kool Aid and kills Sophie for lacking faith.


At least The Originals answered my question about who the 4th resurrected witch is. It’s a shame it was an ungrateful teenage brat bitch.

I suppose what I’m most disappointed in this episode is the arranged marriage thing Hayley’s got going on now. As if Celeste wasn’t enough of an obstacle already.


Why I hate this episode:

Rebekah also gets saddled with another pointless, nothing plot line. She gets flirty with a hot, blonde werewolf dude (see above). Then is promptly betrayed when he leads her into a mauling trap. Rebekah needs to find herself a trait that isn’t “lovesick loser.”

Hayley’s backstory is some ass pull bullshit. The Crescents are a group of werewolves that are all under this curse. Conveniently, though, they’re not all blood related, as Jackson is from the other family. So that means it’s totally okay if they bone. He also says they were betrothed in some kind of gesture of unity between the families. Oh my fucking god, I don’t care. Jackson better just go off and die in 2 episodes like ever other werewolf in the TVD/Orginals universe.

He and Oliver (Rebekah’s blonde werewolf lovah) are also way too similar looking. They’re both super muscled and have the same haircuts and facial hair, just in different colours. And both are curiously waxed and hairless. And The CW already has an Oliver, dude. Step off.

As far as I can tell, Elijah didn’t really get a choice in who he saved. By the time Elijah wakes up, Klaus has already been stabbed and taken, and Rebekah is fuck knows where getting chewed up by werewolves. He only saves Hayley because she rings him and he actually knows where to find her. Rude, Celeste.

Monique is shit.

The werewolf party is held at the first house the Originals were living at this season. The attack from Celeste burns it down. Damn, that house was cooler than Marcel and Klaus’ weird compound thing.

The party is also a bit too country for my tastes.

Elijah smashes through a window to rescue Hayley from the burning house. Instead of following them out, Jackson elects to stay inside and die. So Elijah has to go back in to save him. Idiot.

Oh, and Celeste is doing all this because Klaus killed her. She has some anger set aside for Elijah standing by his brother, but there’s no solid reason for her to hate on Rebekah. Rude, bitch.


But it’s not all bad:

She’s doing a pretty good job of being a diabolical mastermind, though. So I’m loving Celeste for that.

Despite the lack of real choice, her plan to make Elijah choose is delightfully cruel. Poor Rebekah and Klaus.

Although it’s rough to see Sophie die, she got what she deserved. She conspired with the witches to get the knife into Klaus’ heart in the hopes of then being allowed to flee New Orleans with Monique. Yeah, well, a melted brain is what you get, honey.

Monique’s resurrection involves her literally bursting forth from her entombment. While a group of tourists witnesses it. Celeste is a showman.

Camille gets best line of the episode after she relinquishes the curved knife to Klaus and rats Genevieve out: “If there’s a war going on, I wanna be on the winning side.” Clever girl.

Klaus tries to help Priest beat the hex. He has him bleed the vervain out of his system, then tries using compulsion to disable the hex. It doesn’t work, but it’s the thought that counts.

Genevieve has some history with Marcel and Rebekah that make them afraid of her. I assume they must have murdered her horribly. I look forward to finding out.

The curved knife absorbs into Klaus after Sophie stabs him with it, wracking him with horrible pain, and Rebekah will soon be feeling the effects of dozens of werewolf bites. So Celeste is an adept torturer.

Hayley mentions that she had Josh send out the party invites to her werewolf bretheren. Rebekah is impressed that he’s still alive. Me too.

Klaus tries to lure Bastardiana out by parading Monique down the street, threatening her with the curved knife. Violence against children is admirable.

Marcel doesn’t think so, and tries to get Klaus to stop. Klaus puts Marcel in his neck-snapped place. I lol’d.

The end of the episode has Elijah rallying Marcel and the vampires to find Klaus and Rebekah. It’s war, baby.

Oh, and Elijah evidently does have the capacity to kiss. Just not the right person.

The Originals Elijah Celeste kiss

This is why you’re single, Elijah.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

16 responses to “The Originals Season 1 Episode 13 – TV Review”

  1. Lydia says :

    I thought Monique woke up because Pappa-something (Mr. Hat) was killed. Isn’t that what they said? Or is that just what they think? IDK. Hopefully we will get a better explanation.

    I saw blonde shirtless guy as just a knock-off Thor. 😛

    I also lol’d when Elijah went in “rallying his troops” and started smashing them around, haha. Elijah is the passive-aggressive one; he’s all composed until you piss him off. Then he can be just as bad as Klaus.

  2. Alisha says :

    I can’t figure it out either. There was something mentioned about if u kill one of the old witches,one of the 4 girls is resurrected. Then at the end, the girl tells Sophie that celeste is gonna help her get the other 3 resurrected and I’m like ummmm doesn’t that mean the 3 old witches have to die?

  3. Catherine Dream says :

    When the wolfy dude went: ‘you were supposed to be my wife’, I just sighed and said out loud: ‘of course she was.’

  4. HM says :

    Hi! I believe we have yet to meet the fourth resurrected witch, since Monique only came back to life because of Papa whatever’s death…. My theory: the fourth witch is going to be the Original’s mom. After all, she wanted to kill her children to end vampirekind so…. (BTW, reading your reviews after watching my series has become kind of part of my daily life :P)

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