Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 17 – TV Review
Hanna Fashionistard Counter:
Good hair and an even better coat keep her head above water this time.
Our count is now 9 banal, 8 benign.
Board Shorts Ale: dumbest beer name contender 2014.
Goddamn, Alison. Stop being so fucking obstructive.
TL;DR Ezra might be Board Shorts; Emily is acting like a paranoid psycho; Mike and Mona become a couple; Hanna does a solo mission that ends with foreign objects in her mouth.
Hey, she’s gotta move on from Caleb somehow.
Alright, let’s give this plot a shot:
It’s Emily’s time to shine again, and she again shows us why that’s a bad idea. She’s apparently just now decided to become freaked out about the car malfunction thing, and goes full on Rear Window with the paranoia levels. This leads to her dad getting worried about her, and he has to save her from an A attack. And also reveal that he has a heart problem, because Emily needs the suds in her life.
Spencer drives the major plot. She deciphers a story from Alison’s diary which leads her to discover Ezra might be the mythical Board Shorts (it’s a brand of beer he likes). She also has some minor flirtation with that hot nerd from last season, but it doesn’t go anywhere.
Hanna discovers her inner detective and thinks she might be able to figure out who’s in Alison’s coffin by seeing if Alison switched her dental records. What she ends up getting is a little impromptu dental surgery from A, which is a warning to fuck off.
And Aria (and the other Liars) are disgusted to learn that Mike is getting cozy with Mona. A new guidance counsellor brought them together, but he won’t listen to Aria’s concerns. Aria is still hiding her reunion with Ezra, too.
Mona’s a hot older chick. Aria should be proud of Mike. At least he’s not hooking up with Hanna again.
So yeah, this episode is another demonstration that Emily should not be allowed to lead. She’s a melodramatic, paranoid mess and I don’t care about it anymore. We already went through all of this after Maya died. And then after she killed Cousin.
Get a new act, baby.
Why I hate this episode:
And who gives a shit about her dad’s heart condition? It is the epitome of irrelevant, soap opera filler material.
Likewise, the reintroduction of Hot Nerd achieves nothing. Spencer immediately rebuffs his advances and asks him if he has any “study aid” medication. Unless he’s A, or shirtless, I don’t want to see him.
At the start of the episode Aria comes home to find Mike having a party. Being the cool, big sister she is, she shuts that shit down and embarrasses him in front of all his friends. I’d hook up with Mona just to spite Aria, too.
Spencer’s discovery of Board Shorts’ identity is laughably random. She just happens to go to the pub when Ezra is there. And then the waitress just happens to be irresponsible enough to give Spencer the rest of Ezra’s order, which includes the beer (the waitress makes a quip about how if anyone asks, she totally checked Spencer’s ID). Stupid.
While I despise Aria’s self-righteousness about how Mona broke up their family, Mike’s ambivalence toward what she did is just as bad. Mona not only caused the family-destroying truth to come out, but she also psychotically attacked your sister and her friends for years. Have a little compassion, bro.
Oh, and Emily has the shits at Spencer for following her last episode. She also has the by-proxy shits at Hanna because Hanna does not have the shits at Spencer. Aria and Emily are still talking though, which means Aria must be on Emily’s dumbass side. I’m not surprised.
But it’s not all bad:
Spencer and Hanna are pretty much the dream team, so seeing them work together is fantastic. They compare scheme notes before embarking on their separate ventures.
Hanna goes to the dentist’s office she used to work at. She slips out of the examination room to look through the files, and steals some check-in lists from around the time Alison disappeared. However, when she returns to the chair, A (or someone else?) drugs her and inserts a little tiny note into her teeth, which Spencer digs out later. She also loses the files. Oh well, she tried.
Spencer does a good job at playing mad libs with the Alison story. I wonder when she’ll tell everyone that Ezra is Board Shorts?
Emily’s paranoia is good for one thing: she almost stabs her dad with a pair of scissors. She hears a noise at night, so she grabs the scissors and attacks whoever’s coming through her bedroom door. That someone is her father. I lol’d.
Bestl line of the episode goes to Aria, somehow. She’s talking to Jesse, the guidance counsellor, and she’s trying to be delicate about how she feels towards Mona:
Aria: “How do I say this without sounding rude…?”
Jesse: “Try it.”
Aria: “Mona’s the devil!”
So Aria does have the capacity to be direct.
Second best line goes to Hanna when Spencer comes over to her house at 4am to discuss schemes: “You’re lucky my mum finished her box of Chardonnay.” I’m more of a Fruity Lexia girl, but any goon consumption is welcome to me.
That Cute Cop turns up again. He apologises to Hanna for that whole arresting Ashley thing. There’s some flirtation going on, so it looks like Travis has some competition.
Aria has a semi-epic smackdown with Maggie when they bump into each other. Aria slams her for being a little liar (re: hiding Malcolm from Ezra all those years) and for blackmailing Ezra’s family to get that sweet cash. Maggie calls Aria a slutwhore teacher fucker. It’s nice.
Mona makes a good point that the Liars just dropped her after she saved Ashley from her arrest. She’s got you there, bitches.
Oh, and Hanna manages to get off the fashionistard train and pull out a couple of good numbers this week. And she proves she likes to read, too. Good on her.