American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 11 – TV Review

American Horror Story Coven Cordelie eye gouge

If so, then I understand.

Well, Queenie isn’t dead. So I jumped the gun on that one.

Fiona and Angela make sure the death toll doesn’t stall, though.

TL;DR Fiona and Angela return the massacre favour to the Delphi dudes; Kathy tries to kill Angela; Kyle chooses Zoe, because they’re in love; that displeases Madison.

Not even the offer of a blowjob can change Kyle’s mind. What happened to zombie solidarity?

It’s a Kathy spotlight episode, so we get a bit of backstory about how tortuing dem black folk was her passion in life. She finds the opportunity to do so again in the present, which relieves some of her growing disdain with maid life. Butler’s spirit appears and offers her a way to kill Angela. It turns out he was scamming her, but Kathy ends up with an unconscious Angela who she will probably be burying in a box. She learned from the best. Meanwhile, Fiona and Angela team up again. They meet with the Delphi honchos, including Hubby’s dad. Naturally, they brutally slaughter them all (with a little help from the Axeman) instead of doing any negotiation. They’ve also successfully covered up Nan’s death. Meanwhile, Kyle and Zoe are in love. Myrtle gives Zoe the means to flee the school for their own safety. Madison gets pissed off, but I think she’s still riding the high of doing away with Misty. Minor subplots include Queenie’s return, and Cordelia stabbing her own eyes out to restore her psychic sight powers.

She lacks no dedication.

With only 2 episodes to go for the season, I’m worried Coven will suffer the same fate as Asylum.

That fate being that the final 2 episodes were arduous epiloguing.

With Delphi dead, the only major plot point left is the ascension of the new Supreme. And I’m getting a bit fatigued with it all, really.

God, I’m getting old.


Why I hate this episode:

Also, it seems like all the candidates keep just manifesting new powers out of nowhere so they stay in contention for the title. Queenie apparently has the power of resurgence now or something, because she recovered from getting shot in the gut pretty well. And she was able to reassemble Kathy and smooth her scars, just like Misty did for Kyle. Nobody is unique anymore.

Zoe and Kyle’s romance has become the obligatory sentimental element of the show. I don’t care about it. Ever since the Madison/Zoe/Kyle triad relationship began, it became clear that American Horror Story isn’t interested in a touching young love story. Don’t try to bring it back now.

And who the hell would choose Zoe over Madison? Please.

The Delphi dudes were even stupider than I thought. Did they expect the witches to aquiesce to their demands? Did they expect not to be attacked? Silly boys.

Zoe is only momentarily shocked that Fiona and Angela killed Nan (she uses a spell to find out). Even the characters are becoming jaded to the twists.

Butler scams Kathy into buying him a super special doll (and getting Angela’s stolen baby) by offering her Benadryl as a supposed “undo immortality” potion to use on Angela. I mean, it’s pretty slick, but that’s rude, bro. Also, I thought people being dead-but-can-materialise-anytime-randomly was season 1’s schtick?

Oh, and Cordelia gouging her eyes out is so ungrateful to Myrtle.


But it’s not all bad:

Myrtle does admire Cordelia’s commitment to heroism, though. She’s a real lady.

Myrtle gives Zoe her most valuable possession, a jeweled brooch, to hock for money so she and Kyle can flee the coven and escape Fiona’s homicidal intentions. Bonus points for, when Zoe initially asks if it’s to wear, Myrtle’s remark that Zoe could never pull it off.

And Myrtle also tells Zoe about her one true love, who was Diane Von Furstenberg’s eventual husband. But Myrtle’s not bitter, because he gave Diane the inspiration to design the wrap dress, which is worth the heartache. Fashion is paramount.

Madison, as we expect by now, steals the show with her brief scenes. At Nan’s funeral, she subtly suggests that Misty’s absence is totally not suspicious, you guys. And her strutty rage at Zoe and Kyle’s love is perfect.

Madison gets best line of the episode when Zoe tells her about how Fiona and Angela killed Nan:
Zoe: “Don’t you care at all?”
Madison: “Have you met me?”
Only in my sweetest dreams.

She also gets second best line when Kathy tries to tell her to flush the toilet after she’s taken a dump in it: “You flush my shit, bitch.” How do you top that cuntishness?

As horribly as Kathy is, I did feel a little sympathy for the way everyone was treating her. At least Myrtle appreciated her soup.

And Butler doesn’t completely screw her over. After Kathy’s attempt to kill Angela fails, Butler arrives just in time to clock Angela over the head and push her down the stairs. And he’s the one to suggest burying her. Let’s see what Kathy does.

Her fascination with blood and torture is key to keeping up the gore factor.

As is the Delphi massacre scene. Hubby’s dad takes it in his stride, pouring himself a cup of tea and chastising Fiona before the Axeman hands her his axe to deliver the killing blow. Classy.

When Queenie shows up, she has Kathy on a leash. I lol’d.

Oh, and Kathy can at least be proud of the solid effort she put into trying to kill Angela. A kitchen knife to the chest may be ineffective on an immortal voodoo queen, but I applaud the gusto.

American Horror Story Coven Kathy Bates Angela Bassett

My old friend.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

5 responses to “American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 11 – TV Review”

  1. Teylen says :

    I felt a bit bad for Myrtle after the comment about the soup.
    From Delphis reluctance to flush the toilet straight to the wicked smile afterwards I thought it was clear that she spiced up the soup with a little Madison-extra @.@;

  2. Anonymous says :

    And obvsiously Madison’s shit was the key ingredient of that soup. The help moment spotted.

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