Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 14 – TV Review

PLL Mona Ezra

Because you’re sweet but insubstantial, baby.

Hanna Fashionistard Counter:
This episode features a whopping 7 outfits for H-Bomb, but they’re mostly agreeable.
Our count is now 8 get the flick, 6 with a tick.

I’m gonna preface this review by saying I’m disenchanted with PLL at the moment. During the Christmas break, I thought I’d better catch up on the scores of DVDs I’d unnecessarily purchased but hadn’t gotten around to watching yet. One of those was PLL Season 3.

And after smashing through it over only 2 days, my eyes are reopened to the endlessly padded soap opera that is Pretty Little Liars.

It’s still better than Ravenswood, though.

TL;DR Caleb is fucking off for good; Ezra is yet to capitalise on being A; the Liars speculate on who could actually be in Alison’s coffin (seeing how Alison is alive); Spencer becomes involved in a corporate conspiracy because hey, we haven’t had one of those yet; everyone finally realises that Jason has been missing for half a season.

A. Bout. Time.

In no particular order (and I’ll let Aria go first because I feel bad for her), your plot lines:

Aria is hopping back into bed with Ezra. Because Jake’s abs apparently aren’t enough for her. She needs a paedophilic, weedy English teacher who is secretly her mortal enemy. Nobody ever said Aria made good choices.

Hanna takes the lead this episode and works on a theory as to who is actually inside Alison’s coffin. She narrows it down to a similar looking girl who went missing at the same time. After meeting with that girl’s friends, she finds out Alison and Miss Missing have a lot in common. Caleb also (kind of?) breaks up with her to go stay in Ravenswood. Good riddance.

Spencer and Toby close the door on his mama mystery. They go after the company that owns Radley and force them to admit Marion’s death wasn’t a suicide. Papa Hastings then encourages Spencer to keep going and get Radley shut down. Because this is important work, people.

And Emily has a couple of token scenes with Paige and Miss Missing’s friends. Just to remind us she’s here. She and Spencer do a little asking around about Jason, too.

So it’s a Hanna heavy (hefty?) episode, which is always a good place to start.

It’s a shame that Aria’s official return to Ezra’s bed means that this episode is now purely toxic, and must be reviled by all. There is no compromise. We are at war.

At war with Aria plot lines.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Seriously, Aria? All it takes is a little jaunt to a cabin, and she’s ready to forget about Jake (and his physique) and hop right back on Ezra. I’m proud to be a slut-shamer. Slut.

Spencer’s corporate conspiracy shit is plumbing new, ridiculous depths. The only saving grace of it is that the Toby’s mum stuff is finally over.

Caleb is a withholding little brat when he’s trying to brush Hanna off. I understand that it’d be hard to convince her that he needs to leave so he can go ghostbusting. But letting the love of your life presume that you’re banging another chick isn’t a great alternative, either.

Why don’t they just pop that coffin open and find out who it is themselves? Emily kind of helped dig up Alison’s grave before. Just get it done, ladies.

Mona’s back in town and takes an opportunity to cryptically antagonise Ezra about being A. He cryptically threatens her, so she backs off. I want to see these fireworks, baby. Ezra needs to start some shit.

We don’t get a solid answer on where Jason is.

Ezra’s new book for his class is the Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Because Twilight: New Moon isn’t the only one who can do subtle literary parallels.

Emily unncessarily tells Paige about how Alison broke her heart. I guess Emily didn’t think their relationship had enough tension.

Oh, and Caleb cries like a baby after breaking up (?) with Hanna. These people are still acting like Ravenswood is on the other side of the world from Rosewood.

 

But it’s not all bad:

The body in the coffin mystery could have some legs. We learn that Sara, the missing girl Hanna finds out about, is scarily similar to Alison. Both in appearance, and in behaviour. After Emily and Hanna meet 2 of Sara’s friends in an initial get together, one of them comes to see Emily alone later. She admits that she wishes Sara was dead, so the mystery of her disappearance wasn’t hanging over her and her friends’ lives. She wished she was dead when she wasn’t missing, too. She was an Alison-style cunt, apparently. I like her already.

The 2 friends that Hanna and Emily meet also resemble Hanna and Emily (one is blonde, one is but-not-too-black/ethnic). And another friend we hear about is a depressed girl named Avery, who I assume will be Aria’s counterpart. It’s like Bizarro World.

Hanna shows the most intiative in getting the deets on the situation, too. She should be the main Liar. Not mopey little Aria.

Hanna caps off the episode with the juiciest token of the episode: that diary that she stole from A’s lair in episode 12. It’s Alison’s, and she wrote about all the Liars. I want to know what.

Early in the episode, the Liars agree that they’re not all that thrilled that Alison is alive. And they squabble over if Alison is A, and if she’s the one who’s been tormenting them. Good point, ladies.

Hanna mispronounces “gazebo.” Sublime.

Emily asks Jessica about Jason. She says that he’s on a cross-country road trip or something, but hasn’t heard from him in a while. Spencer asks her dad, too, and shows actual worry. Finally. Peter (her dad. That’s his name) kind of wriggles out of it and just tells Spencer to stay away from Jessica.

Jessica is determined to stay in the Liars’ lives, though, as she gives Ashley a real estate job. I supposed Alison must have inherited at least some of herself from mummy.

Spencer theorises that Peter must have some kind of ulterior motive for encouraging her to shut down Radley. I sure hope so.

Best line of the episode goes to Hanna when the Liars are recapping the story of Alison’s survival:
Aria: “And then Grunwald pulled her out.”
Hanna: “Yeah, like a carrot.”
Hanna is clearly the writer in the group. Not Aria.

Oh, and PLL better hitch Hanna up to some new man candy, pronto. And it better not be Lucas.

PLL Caleb Hanna

“Miranda’s more boring, and therefore more suited to me. I suck.”

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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