Revenge Season 3 Episode 11 – TV Review

Revenge Lydia pours wine on Victoria's chair

But I guess it’s worth the fabulosity.

Unfortunately, the ensuing catfight is painfully brief.

Fortunately, Revenge is going all the way down the crazy soap opera rabbit hole, and is now throwing around an amnesia plot line.

It’s about time.

TL;DR Emily has total amnesia; Victoria and Conrad scheme to protect Daniel from facing justice; Patrick and Nolan break up again; Lydia is in trouble.

She really should have learnt not to trust Conrad by now, hey?

So thankfully, Emily survived Daniel shooting her on the yacht. With the police investigation into the shooting cornering Victoria as the prime suspect, Daniel decides he’s going to come clean to protect her. He makes the mistake of telling Victoria first, which leads her to force Conrad to frame Lydia for the shooting (she has no alibi because she was in Conrad’s room waiting for sex at the time of the shooting. Or so she says). Meanwhile, Emily wakes up in hospital with explosive amnesia. Aiden’s attempt to rescue her goes awry when she freaks out. She also has a mini callback and tells Charlotte that her father is David Clarke. Dumb bitch. Jack visiting her makes her remember that Daniel shot her, though, so that’s good. Elsewhere, Patrick chooses Victoria over Nolan and they’re now at war; Margot and Jack are doing their own investigation into the shooting; and an old comrade of Aiden’s turns up and says she’ll be helping keep a watch over Emily at the hospital.

Because a doctor is the only role Stephanie Jacobsen was born for. I’m not complaining.

I thought I was going to start frothing at the mouth when Emily’s amnesia turned out to be legit.

But then I stopped and realised that this is Revenge. This is the pinnacle of soap opera soapiness. And considering how fantastic this season has been so far (I would have burst a vein if this had been in season 2), I decided to have a little faith.

And it looks like she’s already getting her memory back anyway, so there’s no drag.

God, it’s like Revenge can do no wrong.


Why I hate this episode:

Luckily, we still have Nolan. His overemotional, melodramatic moping is back. He is way too crazy when whingeing about how Emily is in danger and they have to drop everything to help her blah blah blah. He needs a  jumbo tampon, because he’s a huge pussy.

Jack also slips in a bit of crybaby bullshit when he’s all like “It’s my fault Emily got shot, because I’m the one who forced her to carry off her plan quicker.” Oh, shutup.

Poor Lydia is getting shafted by the Graysons. I’m especially disappointed in Conrad. Daniel is nothing but an ungrateful little shit (which is reinforced to you in this very episode). I say stick with Lydia and let him get what he deserves. Because, like, he did shoot Emily.

Daniel’s decision to come clean is evidently a token effort. As soon as he finds out Conrad and Victoria have arranged for Lydia to take the fall, he backs down from his commitment. Weak little liar.

Patrick gets demerit points, too, for choosing the Graysons over Nolan. No more hot gay sex for you.

Emily letting slip to Charlotte that David Clarke is her father is some shit Emily and the team don’t need right now. Fuck it’s juicy, though.

Conrad immediately lies to the police about Lydia’s whereabouts at the time of the shooting (which he later rescinds for the frame job). Do these characters seriously not know any better by now?

Sarah is doing fine, apparently. Ew.

Oh, and why don’t the police just do a gunpowder residue test? Hell, with that bracelet gone, Victoria would be in the clear. Let’s execute Daniel. That might make me happy.


But it’s not all bad:

At least Victoria doesn’t remember Aiden grabbing her with that chloroform rag. She does remember the confrontation with Emily, but it’d be a pretty big she said/she said if she tries to get it out there. Daniel heard it, too. But Daniel tried to murder Emily, remember, so I doubt anyone would take him credibly.

Like I said earlier, Emily’s amnesia already seems to be dissipating. Enough, at least, for her to tell Jack (and, by extension, Nolan and Aiden) that Daniel shot her. I’d like to see Nolan channel his ridiculous emotions into exacting… revenge.

At this point, Margot is an honorary member of the team. She keeps some photos from the police so she can investigate them on her own. They prove that Victoria, Daniel and Lydia weren’t in the viewing room at the time of the shooting. More importantly, they show that Conrad is, so at least Victoria can forget about playing that game this time. I think Margot was a worthy addition to the show. No?

Charlotte, Conrad, and Lydia were all quickly convinced Victoria totally shot Emily. I lol’d.

Victoria is barred access to Emily in the hospital due to the police suspicions around her. I lol’d.

Nolan and Victoria have a bit of a scratch at each other at the hospital. Now that she (kind of) knows the truth about him and Emily, I guess we can expect more and more open hostility. Divine.

The standout moment of the episode is when Lydia and Conrad come to Grayson Manor to antagonise Victoria. Lydia, as you can see above, pours a glass of wine onto Victoria’s throne. A blink-and-miss-it catfight ensues, but damn, it’s beautiful.

Best line of the episode goes to Daniel, who describes Lydia to the investigator: “Lydia Davis is one step above a call girl.” He’s got you there, honey.

Conrad is genuinely pissed the fuck off about having to give up Lydia. My sweet little monster.

Nolan, Jack and Aiden are worried that the Graysons might try to finish Emily off. That’s adorable.

Oh, and one of Emily’s doctor’s is Stephanie Jacobsen, who you (and I know I do) might recognise from the gone too soon Melrose Place (2009). She tries to inject Emily’s IV with something but is interrupted by Charlotte. Later, she bumps into Aiden. They have a past that involves her saving his life and him owing her a life debt. She says she’s going to buddy up with him and keep an eye on Emily to protect her from the Graysons.

Also, they pash.

And she gets to use her real, Australian accent. Melrose alumnus and a fellow ‘Straya Cunt? It’s a good time to be alive and watching Revenge.

Revenge Stephanie Jacobsen

I know she’s busy over on Arrow, but can you imagine?

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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