Revenge Season 3 Episode 9 – TV Review

Revenge Lydia green dress back

“I know I kinda came back last episode, but it’s for real real this time.”

It may have already mostly fizzled out by the end of this episode, but Lydia certainly knows how to get in with a bang.

I guess those are the kind of skills you need to have as a professional adultress.

Conrad doesn’t seem to mind.

TL;DR Lydia’s strutting around is fun, but doesn’t really prove anything; Emily gets the pregnancy story out there; Daniel gives up on Sarah; Charlotte gives up on scheming; Margot gives up on her Conrad story; Victoria gives up on going to the wedding.

It’s gonna be hard to have people suspect someone of murdering you at your wedding if they aren’t, you know, at your wedding. Emily is rightly pissed.

The episode begins as there’s 2 days to go before the wedding. Daniel wants to keep the news of Emily’s pregnancy quiet so he can continue being wishy-washy over who he loves. It gets out there, though, and Daniel finds the resolve he needs to fuck Sarah off and commit to the wedding. Charlotte admires his determination and backs off the scheming pedal, too. Victoria, on the other hand, doesn’t believe it for a second and ramps things up. Unable to get through to Daniel, Victoria ends the episode by telling Emily she simply won’t be attending. Uh oh. Meanwhile, Lydia’s return is surprisingly a non-event for most people. She fails in getting Conrad to admit to trying to kill her, and after Margot cuts her loose (thanks to some Aiden scheming), she goes back to Conrad as his bed buddy. She’s still holding a New Year’s Eve photo against Emily, though, and finds an undoctored one among Conrad’s memorabilia. Meanwhile, Jack convinces Margot to drop the Conrad story altogether for her safety. And Aiden proposes to Emily (and she accepts) in preparation for their new, post-revenge life.

Aww.

I’m a little unimpressed that Victoria’s final, desperate play was to plead with Daniel not to marry Emily. Anything heartfelt rarely comes out of her fork-tongued mouth, so no fucking wonder that Daniel didn’t listen to her.

Really, Victoria’s entire plan for screwing up the wedding relied on Sarah, and she should know that those plebian, working class drones can’t be trusted. Their minds are too busy with “work” and “not being homeless” to have time to focus on soap opera scheming.

That’s why everyone hated Vanessa on Gossip Girl.

 

Why I hate this episode:

It’s sad that Lydia’s bombshell return is pretty much over and done with before she can actually achieve anything. The claims she makes to Margot about David Clarke can’t be backed up, and when she lures Conrad over and tries to secretly record him saying he ordered her death, he doesn’t say the words she needs. By the end of the episode, Conrad’s taken her back into his bed and Margot’s killed the story. The only thing she has left is an original print of the NYE photo with a black-haired Emily on the wait staff. It’s something, but it’s not much.

Nobody seems to really be that fazed by her return. Victoria already knew because she’s the one who saved her from the plane and convinced her to go into hiding. Emily is typically nonplussed. Daniel is kind of like “Oh, cool.” Conrad is really the only one who show’s more than a moment’s “wtf.” But then they bang, and everything’s back to normal. Even for disaffected soap opera characters, this should have been more of an event.

It’s kind of sad how Lydia is unable to draw the truth of Conrad ordering her and Victoria’s deaths out of him. And then she goes back to his bed, too. She needs some more self-respect.

I don’t believe that Margot is going to drop the Conrad case. She wouldn’t care how amazing Jack’s torso is, he’s admitted to her that Conrad is responsible for Amanda (though not, but whatever. Shut up, Jack) and Declan’s (that one he’s got right) deaths. That would sell some fuckin’ Voulez, you know?

Emily and Aiden do some stupid Japanese ritual thing to prepare for the wedding. Ew. Stop. Lame.

Daniel tells Emily that he didn’t bang Sarah. Yeah, right.

Oh, and Nolan wears 2 shirts and does a double popped collar. Good god, what cruel torture is this?

 

But it’s not all bad:

Victoria unwittingly plays the ultimate card she didn’t even know she had: not going to the wedding. Bonus points for using the excuse of finding Nolan a spot at the wedding party table, something which Emily had been bitching about earlier. I’ll allow Victoria an accidental scheming victory. This time.

Mostly because I’m looking forward to how Emily is gonna turn that shit around, when the wedding is goddamn tomorrow.

Sarah is finally fucking off. She tells Daniel that she doesn’t want to be a homewrecker, so he has to choose. Having decided to choose Emily and the baby, he and Sarah say a tearful, honest farewell. Cheating sluts they may have been, but at least they pulled themselves together long enough to do the right thing.

Likewise, Charlotte respects Daniel’s decision and (seemingly, at least) embraces Emily as her new sister-in-law. Good. Now get Regina back and have a hot, gay affair. It worked for Nolan. It can work for you, too.

Before everything falls apart, Lydia does a decent job of strutting around. She announces her return by infiltrating Grayson Manor and throwing Victoria’s clothes over the balcony while Victoria and Emily are downstairs. Ballsy.

Emily gets best line when having a discreet bicker with Lydia as she’s about to leave:
Lydia: “Save it. They may still be falling for that little act of yours, but not me.”
Emily: “Oh, Lydia. I think you’ve pretty much cornered the market on falling, don’t you think?”
Major life trauma burn.

Lydia puts in a good effort when telling Conrad she has Victoria to thank for her survival from that plane explosion: “I’d be dead if it wasn’t for your wife’s momentary lapse of evil.” She does try.

And everything else might have buggered up, but Lydia does have her hands on that NYE photo. Use it, baby.

Conrad is happy for the pregnancy. Aww.

Emily wears one of Victoria’s bracelets at a shooting range so that there’ll be gunpowder residue on it. Good planning.

Nolan organises Aiden and Emily’s fake IDs for after the fake murder. Emily’s is “Amanda Ross.” Oh, Nolan.

Oh, and Emily’s wedding dress is divine. As you would expect.

Revenge Daniel Emily wedding photos

“This is MY pre-special day photoshoot!”

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

5 responses to “Revenge Season 3 Episode 9 – TV Review”

  1. greengatephoto says :

    I’m kind of surprised you didn’t mention Emily being shoved by Lydia. They were all weirdly over it in seconds. I enjoy reading these–you help me understand some details I didn’t really get, like the bracelet and the gun powder!

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