Glee Season 5 Episode 7 – TV Review

Glee The Fox awful

Just be thankful you can’t hear it.

Well, this episode is devoted to everyone learning how important Blaine is.

And Kurt magically getting his way while actively doing the wrong thing.

Cool.

Also, I’m experimenting with a new font for my in-image captions. Please complain about it.

TL;DR Blaine is an attention whore; Kurt is rewarded for being an idiot; Jake sluts around, which is apparently offensive to Bree; muppets.

Lots of muppets.

The McKinley plot kicks off with Blaine being called a control freak and having some of his uniformly terrible ideas shut down. After getting exposed to a gas leak and fantasizing about muppets, he decides to create a muppet of Kurt. This somehow intersects with Sue’s plot line (we’ll get to that), and he ends up in detention, unable to attend Pamela Lansbury‘s debut gig. But everything’s okay when the glee club randomly decides to give him what he wants. Cute. Meanwhile, Bree gets mad at Jake for being a ho, because that’s totally not what she is, right guys? She also has a monumentally superficial pregnancy scare, which she bitches at him for, too. He tries to get back with Marley, but she don’t want him, no. Meanwhile, Sue worries she might not be feminine enough because a dude she likes mistook her for a man. Her frustrations run into Blaine for no reason, but then she gets Unique to give her a makeover. That guy still doesn’t want her, though. And over in New York, Kurt books Pamela Lansbury’s debut at a Broadway bar (against everyone else’s wishes), and they only have one patron. Luckily, that patron happens to be connected to a Brooklyn hipster tastemaker, and they get a dream gig booked for their next show.

Oh, to be Kurt.

I’m gonna let Kurt play second fiddle here, and award my biggest complaint to Blaine. His plot is so fucking selfish and dumb. The show displays his self-righteousness, and I thought they might actually let him look bad. But no, a couple of muppet hallucinations later, and everyone just gives in to him getting a solo song at Nationals, and he can do it however he wants.

Kurt has definitely rubbed off on him.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Kurt isn’t far behind, though. He actively rejects every other band member’s input and insists they debut at the Broadway bar. It bombs like fuck. But thanks to plot intervention, it turns out to be exactly what they needed and they’re on their way to becoming a huge success and everyone’s happy and forgets that Kurt almost intentionally destroyed the band. Yay.

They also all admit to each other that Kurt’s the leader and he can do what he wants. Democracy.

The setlist he chooses for their debut is just a catalogue of Madonna covers (which, again, everyone else disagrees with). I don’t know a lot about starting out as a band, but I’m guessing if you position yourself as a single-act tribute band, people are going see you as a single-act tribute band. They should call Marley and get her to write some songs for them.

The intersection of Sue and Blaine’s plots is absurd. Blaine is just walking down the hall when he sees Sue fall over while in her stiletto heels. He helps her up, but embarrassed, Sue funnels her rage into the nearest thing, which happens to be the muppet Blaine is holding. She declares a ban on muppets at McKinley, and confiscates it. What?

Jake is the only glee club member who is originally on board for Blaine’s a capella proposal. Why?

Bree is a bit of hypocritical cunt to Jake. He’s apparently seeing every other Cheerio, so she gets insanely jealous and pissed off about it. She reveals she might be pregnant, which could excuse her behaviour. But then after she finds out she isn’t, she still takes a huge moment to bitch him out for being a bad guy and how he needs to change and he’d be a terrible parent. What the fuck, bitch? The whore calling the slut black. That’s just racist.

Also, she was convinced she was pregnant because she had a single late period. Shut up, you little alarmist brat.

Dani gets relegated to fucking keyboard during Kurt’s fantasy of Pamela Lansbury’s performance. I’m no Demi Lovato champion, but I’m pretty sure your high profile, chart successful guest star deserves a little better than that.

How the hell do you mistake Sue for a man? She wears makeup, for fuck’s sake. And they may be unimpressive in a tracksuit top, but she’s got tits under there, mate. Nice try, writers.

Kurt chucks a psych when Blaine says he can’t come to the gig. Whatever, douche.

Did Jake really expect Marley to take him back?

Oh, and the crowning glory to the shitshow that is this episode (and Glee in general, you know?) is the closing song, which is Ylvis’ The Fox. God, why? They’re also about 1000 years late to the meme party. As per usual.

 

But it’s not all bad:

I like to believe The Fox is a nice little reference to Glee’s network. It’s the only way I can accept the cover’s existence without having to cut myself.

Apart from The Fox, the songs are actually alright. The Madonna song in Kurt’s fantasy is average, but the Janet Jackson song mashup that Jake does is pretty cool. It’s nice to see Glee avoid chart garbage for a change.

Sue and Will’s duet was nice, too. And Sue looks like a lady.

Unique’s makeover is surprisingly un-draggy. Sue looks good all girled up. She has flashback to the start of her teaching in the 80s, and she looked even better then. But she had to put on some pants to get taken seriously.

In fact, that was Figgins’ suggestion. So she really owes him for her success.

Blaine doesn’t get everything his way. Ryder earns second best line of the episode when the group turns down his first proposal. He coughs under his breath (but loud enough to hear) “You suck.” He sure does.

Best line of the episode goes to Kitty, who is voicing everyone’s disapproval with Blaine’s decision to sit in the corner and not contribute to the group (he was gas hallucinating at the time, but hey): “Do you want us to call you a wham-bulance? Because your pity party is out of control.” Meow.

Sue impresses the school board and is now permanent principal of McKinley. Figgins tries to blow the inspection by revealing the gas leak to the inspectors, but Sue already knew about it and personally fixed it herself earlier. Poor Figgins.

The muppets are cute.

Sue goes to Will for help in being more feminine, and he tries to extort $600 for Nationals costumes. She counters by calling out what a waste of money the Applause outfits must have been. Gotcha, bro.

Despite the silver lining, I basked in Pamela Lansbury’s failure of a gig.

During one of Blaine’s gas hallucinations, the muppet versions of the glee club point out that Kurt’s band is just a shitty cover band. Yep.

Oh, and Jake’s Janet Jackson song and dance is 80s fabulous. The whole number is actually a diss to the other glee club members’ dancing abilities. Good.

Glee Jake abs

Thanks, Glee.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

8 responses to “Glee Season 5 Episode 7 – TV Review”

  1. Alisha says :

    I think the real question here is was unique’s muppet wearing a Michelle Obama wig??? I guess a gender neutral muppet is just too gay for glee yet somehow adam lambert wearing more eye liner than a kardashian is just gay enough.

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