Once Upon a Time in Wonderland Season 1 Episode 6 – TV Review

Once Wonderland Alice Will grove vines tree

I don’t think I’ve got a second caption that could make this look more ridiculous.

So, Alice almost becomes a tree this episode.

A surprisingly nimble tree.

TL;DR Alice’s quest is stalled by evil perfume flowers; Cyrus’ escape from Jafar’s castle is mixed; Jafar travels to Victorian era London to find Alice’s loved ones; flashback Alice is given the cold shoulder by her family.

Wicked stepmothers strike again.

The central plot of the episode follows Alice’s journey to Jafar’s castle now that she knows where it is. She has to make her way through The Black Forest, which is apparently super evil. She stumbles through and ends up in a Lotus-eater type situation where some flowers give off a perfume that makes you happy, makes you forget everything, and eventually turn you into a tree. Will pops in and saves her just in time. Meanwhile, Cyrus is still legging his way down the mountain outside of Jafar’s dungeon. Red catches onto it, and sets off in pursuit. Athough she corners him at a cliff edge, Cyrus leaps off what he now realises is a floating island to the sea below. Meanwhile, Jafar has Rabbit take him to Victorian era London. Jafar sniffs out Alice’s old doctor at the asylum, who points him in the direction of Alice’s dad. And in a flashback to a year ago, we see Alice emerge out of Wonderland and return home, having apparently lost Cyrus. Her new stepmother has her dad under her thumb, and they force Alice to shut the fuck up about Wonderland and Cyrus so that their daughter (Alice’s half sister) doesn’t fall under the delusion. When Alice refuses, they ship her off to the asylum.

A fair ultimatum.

The Alice plot line in Wonderland this episode is blatant filler. It’s merely there to slow Alice’s progress down. The only thing we really learn from it is that Will doesn’t have his heart in, which is why the perfume didn’t affect him.

Other than that, it’s just a big ol’ waste of time.

Luckily, the other plot lines keep things running.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Alice needs to pick up her shit. She’s constantly the least interesting character.

Although her flashback helps fill in some blanks, Alice herself is a petulant douchebag. She has no consideration for the reality of, well, reality. Yeah, stepmum is a bitch, but you left Wonderland, honey. Settle the fuck down and get with the program.

She is also overly critical of her father’s actions in her absence. Alice was obviously gone for a long time. Long enough for him to have a, what, 10 year old daughter? Of course he was going to move on with his life. Alice’s preoccupation with mourning is such a downer. No wonder they kicked her off to the asylum.

Oh wait, no, she chose the asylum herself. Her dad gives her a choice: continue being a freak show and go to the asylum, or shut up a bit and meet boys. It’s not like they were marching her down the isle with poor Mr Darcy. She couldn’t even stomach having breakfast with him. What a little brat bitch.

Also, stepmum is a fucking psychopath. Alice wasn’t necessarily deserving of sympathy, but damn, stepmum wasn’t gonna offer any, either. Rude.

There’s a bit of classic Once Upon a Time bad CGI. The establishing shot of the asylum is sublimely terrible.

Will makes a bizarre joke about having been “stoned.” It’s nowhere near subtle enough to work.

Oh, and when Red finds Cyrus’ cage empty, she asks the other prisoner what’s going on. He says she’ll never catch Cyrus, because he has the power of true love on his side. Gag.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Alice’s flashbacks do help give some context. And if nothing else, I do believe that Alice is super committed to Cyrus. It may be inconvenient and pigheaded, but it certainly is love.

Will isn’t bad in hero mode. His little “my heart isn’t inside me but it’s somewhere safe but I won’t say where” tidbit is the most important revelation of the episode. I wonder who ripped it out?

I didn’t realise Red’s little Ke$ha makeup-wearing helpers where Tweedledee and Tweedledum. I know now.

She slaps one of them when she wears some apparently skimpy clothing and he chastises her for it. She angrily remarks that she knows how to get her hands dirty. Yes she does.

She plans to capture Cyrus herself, so that Jafar has neither the genie nor the bottle, leaving Red with all the power. You go, baby.

Best line of the episode goes to Alice’s dad: “What part do you want me to believe? The genie? Or the talking rabbit?” Alice really needs to be more objective.

Alice’s half sister seems pretty cool. I hope we get to see her again.

At the end of the episode, Jafar goes to Alice’s dad’s home and says he can take him to Alice. Maybe Cyrus’ cage won’t be empty for long.

You don’t think Mr Darcy could be, you know, that Mr Darcy?

Oh, and Red, as expected, is resourceful and competent when it comes to hunting down Cyrus. A queen, indeed.

Once Wonderland Red Queen chasing Cyrus

A recurring problem for Once Upon a Time characters.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

5 responses to “Once Upon a Time in Wonderland Season 1 Episode 6 – TV Review”

  1. Teylen says :

    I like to think that it’s been a Jane Austen crossover.
    Even if it might end up just being a name ripoff like with Anastasia. Who apparently only got the name in common with the daughter of the Czar.
    It could provide some credentials to Alices stepmother, which maybe was trying to be less evil but more like that Jane Austen character who tries to get all her daughters married and is a bit uptight about it.

    Apart from that, nice episode.
    Though Cyrus dive did look like,… suicidal?
    I did a similar jump once from a 3meter high diving board… Uhm it doesn’t become one well to drop all uhm drop “stomachfirst” into the water (opposed to dive headfirst) XD

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      He’s already survived one fall into an ocean (thanks, Jafar). I’m sure he’ll find a way around this one, too.

      • Teylen says :

        Most certainly he will.
        He could have just put in a bit more effort into surviving as jumping “stomach first” into the sea and hoping on either the plot device or aspects like “if it’s ain’t boiling it’s ain’t dangerous to drop into water like a stone”

        Plus a nice, proper dive into the sea would have looked nicer then a “beetle attack” on the water. He should watch his style 😀

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