The Vampire Diaries Season 5 Episode 8 – TV Review
As long as Katherine is around, I will be featuring her at the top of the posts.
But anyone who would object to that has something seriously wrong with them, and is probably an Elena fan.
And they are barely worth treating like human beings, anyway.
TL;DR Jesse has been turned into a cannibalistic vampire; Bonnie struggles with the realities of being the anchor; Katherine snips that Traveller soul out of Matt; and she helps Stefan work on his PTSD.
Because she’s just that good.
Most of the action takes place at the college. The girls are celebrating Bonnie’s resurrection with a party. Doctor Evil’s experiments on Jesse take a turn for the out-of-control, and Jesse breaks free. The girls try to help him deal with being a vampire, while Damon interrogates Doctor Evil about Augustine. He eventually admits Jesse has been engineered to only feed on vampires, and when he attacks Damon, Elena stakes the shit out of him. Caroline (and Caroline’s lust) are upset. Damon also discovers that Augustine is the same organisation who apparently experimented on him 60 years ago and Doctor Evil captures him and locks him up. Because hey, Silas is gone, so we need a new distraction. Meanwhile back in Mystic Falls, Katherine binge drinks to block out her worry of mortality. She is invigorated by Matt’s little Traveller-on-board situation, and ropes in Stefan and Nadia to help her extract him. By killing him (Matt is fine, though). Nadia is upset. Katherine also helps Stefan with his crippling PTSD, and he returns the favour by saving her from a suicide attempt.
Because a life without everlasting beauty is not a life worth living. You can take that message home with you, kids. I know I have.
I was actually pretty okay with most of the stuff this episode doles out. Even Katherine’s sudden helpfulness (her pervasive self-interest kinda drowns it out).
But then that absolute fucking bullshit with Damon comes in like a wrecking ball and buggers everything up. Oh, really? You were experimented on horribly and it’s one of the most traumatic experiences of your life and you are literally in mortal fear of it?
Huh, I guess that’s why it’s been such an important part of your character for 4 and a bit seasons.
Why I hate this episode:
I was ready for the new plot leap, now that Silas and Qetsiyah are out of the way, but I didn’t expect anything this tenuous.
Also, the way it comes about is Damon reads a string of numbers on an Augustine blood bag, and is like “This bag has numbers on it. When I was experimented on, I was given a number. Numbers one place = numbers relevant to me. Holy shit!” Get the fuck out.
Elena is not great in a crisis. Jesse is attacking and feeding on Damon. Instead of, I don’t know, snapping his neck or something, she stakes him through the heart. She could have even staked him anywhere else. But nuh, straight for the killshot. Caroline is understandably unhappy about it.
Caroline isn’t without her fuckheadery, though. She somehow finds a way to blame the entire situation on Damon, continuing her endless anti-Damon crusade. Something something if Elena hadn’t needed to save Damon, she wouldn’t have had to kill Jesse, therefore Damon happening to be attacked by Jesse is Damon’s fault. No, bitch.
Aaron still isn’t doing anything.
One for the commenters: I don’t remember exactly, but I think Caroline/Elena/Stefan/anyone might have compelled Jesse at some point over the season so far, yet he doesn’t make any mention of regaining those memories. Am I right?
The girls’ party is inexplicably rockin’, despite them having made no friends (none that are still alive, anyway).
Elena should probably stop flirting with Aaron. Damon’s got enough competition from Stefan.
Nadia gets shitty at Katherine for killing her Traveller boyfriend inside Matt. Girl, it’s not like you were doing anything about it.
It may be fabulously shallow (and therefore fantastic. You do know me, don’t you?), but I can’t approve of Katherine’s suicide attempt. This world would be poorer without you, baby.
Oh, and I don’t know why everybody thinks a cannibalistic vampire is so special. We already had one before. Mikael, anyone?
But it’s not all bad:
It’s the goddamn Katherine cavalcade this season, and I have no problem with that at all. She gets shitfaced and randomly helps Stefan and Matt because she’s too drunk to care. She’s the ultimate hero. Elena wishes she could rule it like that.
Her decision to kill herself instead of die from rapidly becoming old and ugly is simply divine. She is what we need to aspire to.
And after Stefan catches her from her jump, and she tearfully admits her predicament, there’s some nice little UST going on. Maybe Katherine is the doppelganger that Stefan is meant to be with?
Stefan’s PTSD seems more humanised, and less like an arbitrary inconvenience, this episode. Katherine’s helping him out is very Lexi-esque, too. And while she’s talking him down from one of the attacks, he does almost choke her to death, so their union isn’t too flowery.
Katherine plays protective mother when talking down to Nadia’s Traveller boyfriend before killing him. Because it really is all about her. Just as it should be.
She reveals her father was a Traveller. That should be relevant soon.
And Mr Traveller headmate reveals that his objective after Silas’ execution was to kill Katherine. Who dares give that order?
Best line of the episode surprisingly goes to Bonnie, but only because of who she mentions. She and Jeremy are thinking of a place they can sneak off to to have sex:
Jeremy: “We could always go back to my place?”
Bonnie: “You mean Damon’s house? While we’re at it, why don’t we just have sex in his bathtub? Or maybe Katherine could watch?”
That would play nicely into my Jeremy/Katherine ship.
Second best line goes to Stefan, who is finding the helping Matt thing a bit tedious: “I would much rather be getting drunk right now.” All day, every day. Join me.
Aaron and Elena bond over both having dead parents. From Aaron’s story, it sounds like his parents were killed by vampires. And I still think he might be resistant to all this compulsion Elena’s using on him. He is Doctor Evil’s family, and if that dude has enough vervain to rig a security system with it, you’d think he’d slip some to Aaron.
Damon interrogates Doctor Evil by injecting him with various horrifying diseases, with the promise of some lifegiving vampire blood if he tells the truth. Adorable.
Bonnie isn’t a witch anymore. But where will we get our Deus Ex Machina now?
Bonnie is getting fucked over by her “all supernatural deaths pass through you” condition of being the anchor. I love it.
She meets one old witch spirit, who I love for 2 reasons: 1) she’s fucking delightful; and 2) she’s a non-black witch on TVD. It’s a miracle. I know The Originals has been playing that card with Sophie, but it’s a nice change here, too.
Oh, and Jeremy and Bonnie have sexy sex. Even if Jesse’s dying spirit interrupts it briefly.