Revenge Season 3 Episode 8 – TV Review
Revenge is the only good thing in my life right now.
And that’s so depressing, I think I’m gonna cry.
But I can’t. Botched facelift.
TL;DR Victoria tries to humiliate Emily, but it backfires; Daniel starts cheating on Emily with Sarah; Jack and Aiden are still bitchy to each other; Lydia is alive.
It’s only 2 weeks until the wedding now, so it’s time for Victoria to ramp up her sabotage of Emily and Daniel’s relationship. Her thing with Sarah is stalling, so she pulls a stunt at the bridal shower: she fell for Busy’s gossip about Emily’s supposed first marriage, and she calls the dude to have him show up. Twist, it was real. Double twist, it was a Green Card marriage so he could stay in America with his male partner. Triple twist, he was also a Takeda operative. Poor Victoria never saw it coming, and now everyone can see how desperate she is to break up the wedding. Emily tries to put the skids on Sarah and Daniel’s sneaking around, and it almost works, but Daniel ends up spending the night with her at some secret Grayson apartment. Those sluts. Meanwhile, Charlotte loses her phone which has nude photos of her on it. She hires Aiden to get it back for her. Aiden’s violent methods concern Jack, who is clearly still pining for Emily. Meanwhile, Conrad fucks off Margot for his memoirs, but she still wants to get deets on him. After Nolan (at Emily’s request) gives her no comment, she goes off to meet a mystery informant.
Who is a very much not-blown-up-in-a-plane Lydia.
O. M. Fucking. G.
Lydia was an important element of Revenge’s first season, and I always found it insulting how she was bascially erased from memory in season 2.
Her return is further proof that Revenge is back to its first season glory.
All hail the blonde adulteress.
Why I hate this episode:
Bloody Daniel and Sarah. Sarah even tries to do the right thing and get away, but she can’t resist Daniel’s pathetic begging.
After the bridal shower incident, Daniel realises that Emily is too similar to his mother, and now doesn’t want to marry her, regardless of Sarah (but I’m pretty sure his hard-on for Sarah is leading that charge, too). Fuck off you little bitch. You will get married and you will allow Emily to frame your mother for murder. Nobody cares about your feelings.
Conrad shows Daniel some ultra creepy cheating sanctuary that has been a Grayson man tradition for generations. It’s apparently a secret place to bring their mistresses whenever they want. For god’s sake, Conrad, did you really expect Victoria not to know about this? She’s Victoria. Even if the word hadn’t been passed onto her by the also-informed Grayson women of the past, she would have figured that out.
Jack’s bitching at Emily about how Aiden is violent and “do you really know him?” is so tragic. Emily knows he’s an ultra driven secret agent super spy. I don’t think she’d be surprised that he would punch a blackmailing douchebag in the face.
Also, as if the blackmailer wouldn’t have made backups of the photos on Charlotte’s phone.
And Jack seems still deeply in love with Emily. Then why are you leading my Margot on, then?
Oh, and near the end of the episode, Aiden tells Nolan he has a job for him, and that he can’t tell anyone else (even Emily) about it. We don’t find out what it is this episode. I wanna know now!
But it’s not all bad:
Victoria and Emily each get to have their mini victories this episode, and it’s nice to see both my girls succeed. Emily, having figured out what Daniel and Sarah are doing behind her back, goes and plays the insecure, jealous, crazy, but pitiable soon-to-be wife for Sarah. This works well for most of the episode, with Sarah stepping off the partnership with Victoria. It’s a shame she can’t resist his pathetic advances at the Grayson Sleaze Zone.
Victoria takes her victory when she learns that Daniel and Sarah are spending the night together. She bursts Emily’s bubble by proving it to her. Victoria is keen to relish the moment.
Emily fights back by announcing her pregnancy to Daniel when he comes home. He’s a gutless pussy, so there’s no way he’d walk away from a pregnant fiancé. Your move, Victoria.
Victoria’s little “your first husband is here” stunt backfires spectacularly, too. Victoria is so disappointed that her plastic forehead almost shows off a frown line. Good god.
Now that he’s been kicked out of the Graysons’, Aiden moves in with Nolan. Nolan nabs best line of the episode when he’s outlining the rules of roommateship: “Ah, most importantly, 19: always give a heads up call before coming home. I am on the rebound, so bitch, don’t kill my vibe.” Wow, Revenge is really pushing Nolan on the gay thing this season. It’s for the best.
Daniel has a cute dig at Conrad after Conrad is unimpressed by the size of Daniel’s office at Voulez, compared to the one he had at Grayson Global: “What we lack in space, we also lack in illegal activity.” Conrad ain’t got no answer for that one.
Conrad burns the shit out of Margot by using her interest in publishing his memoirs to drive a better deal somewhere else. Reliable as always, Connie.
Aiden gets access to Charlotte’s laptop in the process of dealing with her blackmailer. He uses that access to secure a cyber trail that will prove Victoria ordered the gun to kill Emily. Smooth.
I still believe Margot’s tenacity with the Conrad story is more than just the chasing of a good article.
Oh, and I know I use “I’m back, bitches” a lot (or variations), but I think Lydia deserves this moment.