American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 6 – TV Review

American Horror Story Coven Madison resurgence

“And I know… I need to fucking exfoliate.”

Oh thank god, it’s been too long.

Don’t scare me like that again.

TL;DR Madison’s back; Zoe ouija board communicates with “The Axeman” to get the job done, with terror ensuing; Cordelia’s husband is a witch hunter; Cordelia now has the ability of psychic sight; Kyle turns up.

Like Zoe, I had kinda forgotten about him.

Zoe takes charge of the plot this episode. She decides to get serious about the search for Madison. She convinces Nan and Queenie to use a ouija board with her to ask the spirits for the deets. After some ominous but promising contact from The Axeman, a serial killer who was killed by the school’s witches in 1919 when he attacked them, Queenie is the pragmatic black horror movie character and shuts it down. Zoe is more determined than that shit, though, so she promises to “release” The Axeman if he helps her. He does. Once the girls have Madison’s body, Zoe takes it to Misty to get mud masked back to life. It works. The Axeman doesn’t like that Zoe tried to rip him off, though, and attacks a recovering Cordelia. He eventually walks free. Meanwhile, Cordelia is home and she defs has that psychic sight thing. She fucks off Hubby (with Fiona’s approval). He goes to Angela and accuses her of being responsible for the acid attack (she denies it). This meeting also reveals that he’s playing a long game of witch hunter, hired by Angela, to kill all the descendants of Salem. Meanwhile, Fiona reluctantly gets cancer treatment, despite how depressing it is.

A Supreme’s gotta do.

After the original trifecta of amazing, action-packed episodes, this one caps off the subsequent 3 episodes’ duller period. American Horror Story is lucky it can get away with introducing a random new villain. Otherwise I’d be getting ready to blow my filler whistle.

But how can I stay mad at an episode that returns Madison to us?

 

Why I hate this episode:

Taking The Axeman from a dead spirit to a living being was fucktardedly easy. All Zoe did was go “yep, I’ll totes release you, bro.” She didn’t even cast a spell or anything. She was literally just using a ouija board. Then he’s suddenly material again and swingin’ that axe. Maybe the spell Zoe uses on him to get rid of him might explain it a bit more, but I thought it was pretty stupid how he can appear simply because Zoe said he could.

Also, goddammit Zoe, I thought you were better than those dumbass Ravenswood kids.

For being super into him earlier, Cordelia is suprisingly ready to entirely condemn Hubby over a few vague visions.

Kyle breaks Misty’s radio. Unforgivable.

Fiona’s hair is falling out (due to the chemo, or her waning Supreme powers?). Ew. Why are all the fabulous bitches in my life decaying?

Luke must have gone home, because Nan complains that his mother keeps slamming the door on her. Aww. I wanted him to shack up with Nan a bit first.

Oh, and Madison doesn’t remember Fiona killing her. Of course.

 

But it’s not all bad:

The Axeman kinda has a point. Zoe did try to screw him. And above all, he’s mostly resentful that he had to die inside the school, where nothing fun ever happens. I’d hate to spend eternity in a non-party house, too, bro.

I gotta give points to the 1919 witches, too. The Axeman issues a letter saying that any house without a jazz band playing in it will be targeted. The feminista witches decide to fight the powah, so they lure him in by not playing jazz. Then they swarm him and stab the absolute fuck out of him. Don’t even need no spells.

I appreciate Zoe’s tenacity in tracking down Madison. She, Nan and Queenie, after finding Madison’s body in Butler’s attic room, interrogate him. Including Queenie burning herself with a hot spatula to voodoo dool transfer the wounds onto Butler. As he has no tongue, Nan reads his thoughts to ascertain his answers to their questions. It’s pleasantly sexy.

In an effort to cover for Fiona, he claims to be a necrophiliac, and that’s why he killed her and has the body. It’s love.

Misty continues to be a helfpul soul. She’s got Myrtle baking in her garden until she gets better. When Kyle turns up, she bathes and comforts him. And she brings Madison back, despite expecting it not to work.

It’s a shame Kyle breaks her radio, which earns her a radiant best line of the episode: “He broke Stevie.” It’s too traumatic to even think about.

Angela gets second best line when having a whingey aside about Kathy during her talk with Hubby: “When I plant a fatass, cracker bitch, I expect her to stay planted!” #BlameNan

The Hubby revelation would be the highlight of the episode, but it’s never gonna trump Madison. It also turns out that Red once interviewed to attend the school because she had trouble controlling her pyrokinesis. Get it? Because she has red hair?

Angela wants everyone dead, too. I admire her genocidal ambition.

Cordelia sees Myrtle’s burning when she touches Fiona. She doesn’t believe Myrtle acid attacked her. And if Angela is telling the truth about also being innocent, the assailant is still unknown.

Pelant from Bones (and the murdered producer from Cult) is Fiona’s doctor.

Madison says the other side is just blackness. Is that a joke about Bonnie?

The girls get drunk before doing the ouija board. And The Axeman says this isn’t a party house?

The Axeman turns up at a bar and starts flirting with Fiona at the end of the episode. They are gonna have some weird sex. And I want to see it.

Queenie calls Butler “Riff Raff.” I lol’d.

Madison’s first words once she’s alive are “I need a cigarette.” Priorities are important.

Oh, and Angela Bassett is really not holding back on the voodoo goddess shaman thing. Divine.

American Horror Story Coven Angela Bassett

On American Horror Story? Never.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

8 responses to “American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 6 – TV Review”

  1. Amadan says :

    thanks god you exist (god not so sure), everytime i read your blog i feel less alone in the world… too bad for the world

  2. MdBV says :

    why cordelia ask who is the red haired woman after seeing the vision if she had already seen her during the interview?

  3. Steph says :

    Had no idea The Axeman actually existed! I just thought, ‘Oh, how funny, he’s really into jazz music.’

    Excellent review, as always. 🙂 But I don’t think I want to see Axeman/Fiona sexy time.

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