Revenge Season 3 Episode 7 – TV Review

Seriously, if Victoria doesn’t try to jump Aiden’s bones in the next few episodes, I will be sorely disappointed.

Shirtless Aiden still has nothin’ on Shirtless Jack, though.

And hey, we get him, too, this episode.

TL;DR A publicist tries to take control of the Graysons, but Nolan takes her down due to a past run-in; Dan and Sarah’s relationship builds, with Victoria’s marriage-ruining intentions watching over it; Jack has intimacy issues with Margot.

Thankfully, he gets them off his chest. Along with his shirt.

The episode kind of follows the classic Revenge takedown approach, but with Nolan at the helm. Conrad hires a publicist named Busy to revamp the Graysons’ image. She does some stuff that irks Emily (eg. trying to promote a good relationship between her and Victoria, which would spoil the “Victoria murdered Emily” scheme she has in mind). By chance, Busy happens to have caused Nolan a grievance in the past: she outed him as gay/bi in order to deflect negative attention from some popstar he was dating or something, which devastated his relationship with his father in their final years. Emily plays sidekick to Nolan, who hacks into Busy’s phone and uses her info to destroy her client list. Meanwhile, Victoria pressures Aiden into getting into bed with Emily to spoil the wedding. After noticing Sarah creeping back into Daniel’s life, Victoria kicks Aiden to the curb and focuses on using Miss Achy Breaky Back to stop the wedding, instead. Meanwhile, Jack is hesitant to have sex with Margot, but gets over it. And Conrad announces plans to write his memoirs, and Margot seems a little bit too keen to get access to all his dirty laundry.

Maybe she’s more than just a pretty, French face?

Revenge has actually become the show each week I look forward to the most. Good god. Objectively, TVD is the better, more consistent show. But I’m still in disbelief at how well ABC’s managed to turn around the steaming puke pile that was Reveng season 2 into what Revenge is now.

My one complaint with this episode was a lack of Conrad. The heavy focus on Nolan being all cut up about his past with Busy isn’t fantastic, either, but at least he’s not moping over Patrick, hey?


Why I hate this episode:

Charlotte is still cunting around, parading Sarah out for Daniel to be confused over. Maybe if you were hooking up with Regina or something then I could tolerate you, but right now you’re a pathetic, by-proxy homewrecker with no life. Stop copying me.

I could give no trace of a fuck about Jack’s intimacy issues. The only good thing to come out of his subplot was the couple of seconds where we got to see his bare torso. How a man could feel any loyalty to bloody Amanda is insane.

Victoria’s scheming is only succeeding by pure luck. I like it when she’s successful, but I like it better when that success is due to some solid bitchery, and not some accidental intersection with Charlotte’s stupidity.

And what the hell, Daniel? Actually, what the hell, Sarah? Have you no self respect?

Double demerits to Sarah for complimenting Emily’s comfort with having Daniel’s ex-girlfriend be around, then totally whoring it up with him.

Nolan pusses out on his full attack on Busy by choosing not to reveal her infidelity, because her husband is a good guy who doesn’t deserve to be collateral damage. Where’s the edge in that?

To be fair to Busy, she didn’t know what kind of effects her story on Nolan had. And, if I heard correctly, Nolan was banging both her female popstar client, and her brother? Like, you’re being a dirty ho, and you’re having sex with famous people. That’s not exactly the best way to keep your sexual life a treasured secret.

Oh, and Nolan uses these super high tech glasses to record Busy’s iPhone password. They’re a little bit too sci-fi for Revenge, and a jarring leap from the little whale camera we saw in season 1. Silly hacking is par for the course, but keep the gadgets for Torchwood.


But it’s not all bad:

The glasses do happen to accidentally record Daniel and Sarah’s beach cuddle sesh. Let’s hope Emily takes no pity on the little witch and crushes her like the already-crushed bug she is. She hasn’t got a strong backbone, after all.

Nolan proves he is fairly competent in charge of a revenge operation. And it’s nice to see Emily settle for second string for a change. It also shows that their relationship is back on track after last episode’s slapfight.

Part of the plan involves Emily planting a fake story about how she had a marriage when she was much younger. Busy, betraying her pledge of discretion, totally gosses that shit to Victoria. Victoria’s face is worth it, even if the story appears to evaporate. Maybe Victoria will keep that one in the bank to use later?

Jack keeps out of Emily’s way this episode. Good boy.

Conrad doesn’t get much screentime, but he doesn’t waste it. He tells Victoria that he won’t hunt down Patrick as long as she agrees to play nice for his PR revamp.

And the tete-a-tete between him and Margot for his memoirs is the unexpected hit of the episode. I might be reading too much into it, but Margot’s determination to dig his dirt seems like something more than just the hungry publisher in her.

Conrad also pinches best line of the episode when he sees Victoria doing some correspondence: “Are you writing a letter to Patrick, your natural born killer.” Don’t stop the sass.

I’ll give Victoria props for encouraging Aiden to get his shag on with Emily. That’s commitment to the “ruining your son’s upcoming marriage” bit.

And as you’ve noticed, this is the second episode this season where Victoria makes plans with a shirtless Aiden. She catches him coming out of the shower in this one. You know she wants it.

Nolan comes up with nothing when trying to find out where Patrick is. Good.

Sarah and Victoria fucking hate each other. I think Victoria hates Sarah more than she hates Emily. Wow.

Emily looks great at the 4th of July party. Would you expect any less?

Nolan implies that he will be calling on Busy for a favour in the future.

Oh, and it’s good to see the whole trio back together after last episode’s disarray. If only Jack wasn’t such a little bitch, they could make this a quartet.

Revenge Emily Nolan Aiden team

The way things ought to be.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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  1. Revenge Season 3 Episode 8 – TV Review | I Just Hate Everything - November 18, 2013

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