Glee Season 5 Episode 4 – TV Review

Glee Lady Gaga Applaus Sam abs

It’s the only thing Sam’s good for.

Now that the mourning‘s over, it’s back to business as usual.

Vitriol and overly entitled rage, baby.

Because Glee owes me.

TL;DR New Directions have some bizarre Katy vs Gaga week; Sam’s gross relationship with the school nurse progresses; Marley and Jake’s breaks down; Kurt starts a band.

Because between being in the world’s most demanding and prestigious performing arts school and working enough hours at a diner to pay New York rent, he just has so much free time.

The episode is called “A Katy Or A Gaga,” which means Will arbitrarily divides the glee club up into Katys, the wholesome bunch (Sam, Blaine for some reason, Artie, Ryder, and Marley), and Gagas, the diva bunch (Kitty, Tina, Unique, Jake for some reason). The 2 groups have to perform a song from their counterpart’s repertoire to show their range: the Katys choose Applause, the Gagas choose the most boring version of Wide Awake in the world. The only real outcome of the whole ordeal is Marley’s decision to stay true to her boring roots, which gets her into trouble with Will. And her sexual prudence sends Jake runing into the vaginal folds of Bree. Meanwhile, Sam, finding out Penny (naughty nurse) has a thing for guys with darker musical tastes, hopes to impress her with Gaga. It turns out she’s vanilla as fuck, and so is he, so it’s okay. And over in New York, Kurt starts a band, but apparently he, Rachel, Santana and Dani aren’t enough members, so he holds an audition. Adam Lambert shows up, thrusts around wearing too much guyliner, and eventually gets the gig. After some surprise yucking from Kurt.

Because there can only be one insane attention whore on this band, huni!

I can’t say I expected things to be any better, despite the elegance of the tribute episode. And they’re not.

The Katy vs Gaga thing is some really stupid shit. It comes out of nowhere, means nothing, and is just another treading water tactic to throw in some costumes while we wait for Nationals to show up.

Everything in this world is filler.

 

Why I hate this episode:

It’s also insulting to both Lady Gaga and Katy Perry. I expect it’s meant as an affectionate parody, but the characters they choose to represent the singers suck (probably because they’re Glee characters in the first place, but stay with me). The Katy characters are boring, average nobodies who are defined by their utter predictability. The compliment is that they can sing and people like them, but that’s like telling a fat girl she has a pretty face.

On the other side we’ve got the Gagas, who are dominated by a rampantly over-sassy Unique and the typically retarded Tina. They’re praised for their theatricality, but are so obsessed with the spectacle that they forget the performance. I mean, it’s true. But that’s no way to respect Mother Monster.

I also don’t see how Jake fits into the Gaga group. Nor how little miss look-at-me Blaine is supposedly wholesome and down to earth. Did they see his proposal?

Adam Lambert is making a desperate ploy at staying relevant. His acting skills are so amazing, I don’t see why they didn’t cast him before. Demi Lovato is here because she’s frivolous and is so famous right now that she can do whatever the fuck she wants, but poor Adam I think just needs to feed his makeup artists.

Kurt’s resistance to him shows off just how much of a hypocritical queen Kurt is. Stop having things in common with me, Kurt. God.

During Sam’s subplot, there’s an awkwardly long sequence where he praises the fuck out of True Jackson, VP. It’s been cancelled for ages, so it can’t be product placement. What the fuck?

The show doesn’t seem to have any problems with Sam and Penny’s relationship. Yeah, because school staff macking on their students is super chic.

Penny is a fucking piece of shit, anyway. She pretends to be all hardcore and gets all preachy about it. Then Sam tries to be what she wants, and she’s like “lolz, I’m actually fluffier than a kitten on the inside. And maybe a paedophile.” So cute!

Kurt rejects Santana’s proposal for the band name: Apocalypsticks. I liked it.

Dani’s suggestion is The Nipslips, which is also poo-pooed by Madame My-Way-Or-No-Way. He eventually goes with Rachel’s joke suggestion of “Pamela Lansbury,” which is about the limit of obnoxiousness that is safe for a human to endure.

Kurt’s reasoning for initially rejecting Adam is because he wants the band to not be so niche so they can achieve mainstream success. Rachel shits on that and says Kurt should strive to be a hipstery, unappreciated, starving artist. Because moral superiority totally pays the bills.

Dami Im’s version of Roar is better than the one here.

Bree gets worst line of the episode when she very flatly delivers this text-speak farewell. I shit you not: “k thnx bye.” Someone must have ripped “inflection” out of her dictionary.

Marley bitched out on dressing as Venus Gaga from the Applause film clip. Tease.

The Gagas’ version of Wide Awake shows off some glorious vocal flaws. The worst offender is a nasally, possibly-even-worse-than-Quinn Kitty. Very disappointing.

Oh, and Sue suspends the glee club for a week for dressing too sluttily in their performance outfits. Obligatory lines, I guess.

 

But it’s not all bad:

The songs are surprisingly not butchered (except Wide Awake). Adam belts the fuck out of Marry The Night, and the Applause performance is on the right side of fantastic. Mostly due to Sam’s abs.

After getting turned down for sex by Marley, Jake immediately goes to get what he needs from Bree. They speak in code-ish, so I’m sure there’ll be some revelation that it wasn’t sex. But I’ll take it at face value for now, and it’s hilarious.

The new devil team they have to beat at Nationals is called Throat Explosion. Good to see the sex puns are still alive.

Sam gets shirtless again during Roar, as do most of the Glee boys. It’s been a while.

Kitty calls Unique “King Latifah.” I lol’d.

There are a few contenders for best line this episode. Third place goes to Unique, who is trying to give Marley some advice on Jake’s libido: “A tiger can’t change its stripes. Esepcially when that tiger’s a man slut.” I appreciated the subdued level of “mmm hmm, guuurl.” Way to keep it simple.

Second place goes to the ever reliable Santana, with her appraisal of Adam based on his audition: “I would not be embarrassed to share the stage with you.” The highest honour.

And the best line of the episode goes to Penny, when she and Sam realise they’re still into dorky things:
Penny: “I still like the Jonas Brothers!”
Sam: “I still like the Biebs!”
Penny (disgusted): “No…”
Indeed.

Honourable mention to Kitty for this description of Bree: “She is the most vile human being on this planet. And yes, I know that is saying something coming from me.” Not the most creative insult, but the sentiment is there.

Becky doesn’t know who Katy Perry or Lady Gaga are.

Marley’s California Gurls Katy outfit is pretty cool.

Oh, and so is Kitty’s.

Glee Kitty Katy Perry wig boobs

“This lollipop is penis flavoured.”

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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