Why Is Jade Still Here?: BBAU Finale Countdown – Blog

Big Brother Australia 2013 Sonia dress finale countdown

She does know how to wear a dress, though.

Seriously, who is voting for Jade?

Out of all the existent, multi-faceted human beings to grace Big Brother this year (okay, there weren’t that many), how has the glorified, blonde houseplant made it to the final 3?

At least Layla was lovably dumb.

All Jade has is her boobs and crow’s feet.

Oh well, let’s take a look at our final 3. For judgement’s sake.

 

Tim
I wasn’t Tim’s biggest fan in the beginning, and not much has changed since then. While I applaud his ability to extract reactions from everyone (especially the ever-baited Ed), I’m positively fatigued by Big Brother’s overreliance on showcasing him. He has always been the main character, which is no doubt due to his abrasiveness, but I’m sick of him. I’d be happy with him coming second, if only to prevent Jade from getting any more validation. And that skeleton onesie is still a fucking atrocious sack of crap.

Jade
Have you picked up that I’m not her biggest fan yet? I felt kinda bad for her when she first came in, but she’s never risen above being a mildly critical wallflower. Only Ben rivals her in pure lack of ambition. I was attracted to her apathy (and boobs) a while back, but ever since the clique divide, she’s slipped closer to nagging harpy territory. She is living proof that blonde hair and tits can get you far.

Tahan
My stars. My moon. My inspiration. My love. Tahan is proof that being a bitch doesn’t necesarrily make you a bully or a terrible, self-righteous wanker (are you listening, Ben from last year?). Ironically cast as the “mean girl” by fat drama hags Mikkayla and Lucy, Tahan was in fact bullied by those jealous bitches. But she kept her head up, and her hair is infinitely better than extension-apocalypse Lucy. I’m voting for Tahan. She’s a cunt you can love.

 

While I’m here, I should probably evaluate how I did with my Intruder predictions (it’s my duty). I’m not geting my hopes up.

Justynn
“Prediction: they’ll keep Nathan over him.”
Boom.
Result: Accurate.

Nathan
“Prediction: although the HMs will keep him over Justynn, Nathan will go immediately afterwards.”
Well well, I chose my words carefully, didn’t I? Although Katie & Lucy left after Justynn, Nathan wasn’t eligible to go at that time, so I’m taking this one.
Result: Accurate.

Boog
“Prediction: she will betray her statements and pander to the Mikkayla/Jade/Splenda Sisters clique.”
Not at all. Damn.
Result: Wrong.

Madaline
“Prediction: she’ll stay because she’s prettier than Boog, but in true Intruder style, won’t last any longer than that.”
This one got a bit muddled. Although she was voted to go over Boog, Nathan’s sacrifice made the choice invalid. But I suppose Boog did outlast her eventually anyway, so I’ll concede this one.
Result: Wrong.

Huh, I didn’t do too badly. So that’s 2 Accurate and 2 Wrong for the Intruders.

We had 4 from the previous round that needed to be qualified. I turned out to indeed be wrong about Drew (he lasted until the final 3 days); I think I was wrong about Ed (I don’t recall him ever flirting with Sonia. Anyone?); I turned out to be right about Tim (he did have a short-lived argument about boat people); and I’m gonna claim Tahan’s as right (she won Showdown once. I’m taking that).

So that brings I Just Hate Everytying’s Big Brother Australia 2013 Housemate Predictions result to:

9 Accurate (Mikkayla, Ben, Tully, Sharon, Rohan, Justynn, Nathan, Tim, Tahan)

11 Wrong (Xavier, Ed, Matthew, Heidi, Jasmin, Caleb, Jade, Katie & Lucy, Boog, Madaline, Drew)

I think I did pretty well.

 

Vote for Tahan!

Big Brother Australia 2013 Tahan make-up caked

Bitch is caked.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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