American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 4 – TV Review
It was inevitable: we’ve finally run into a talking episode.
And this episode is kind enough to slip in a bit of tongue.
TL;DR Investigators from some witches’ council look into Madison’s disappearance, but Fiona gets away with it; a blood-spattered Kyle runs off; Cordelia’s husband is a hitman or something; Fiona kills the Minotaur, and Angela is not happy.
Zombie-summoning levels of “not happy.”
The central plot thread of this episode is the investigation of Madison’s disappearance. Myrtle (Frances Conroy. Crazy red hair) leads the charge as a representative from the witches’ council (she has 2 lackeys, too). Flashbacks show that Myrtle was rivals with Fiona when they were young, and always suspected her of killing the old Supreme. Despite actually being right, Myrtle’s investigation proves futile when the school’s butler refuses to flip Fiona, and Cordelia reveals that Madison couldn’t have possibly been the next Supreme, rendering Fiona’s supposed motive moot (embarrassing for Fiona, huh?). Myrtle is not pleased. Meanwhile, Cordelia’s husband (who I only just realised is the dad from Dark Skies) hooks up with a hot redhead while out on business (it’s the young version of the maid from season 1). Then assassinates her. Meanwhile, Kyle flees his house and Zoe can’t find him. And after saving Queenie from the Minotaur, Fiona sends his severed head to Angela. In response, Angela uses a spell to summon a horde of zombies to lay siege to the school.
This episode suffers both from being mostly talking, and from having a “to be continued” style ending, which only reinforces the fact that hey, the action isn’t in this episode, guys.
Myrtle and Fiona’s crazy old woman duel is a worthwhile distraction, though. Especially because they both end up losing (Myrtle loses her investigation; Fiona killed Madison for nothing).
Why I hate this episode:
How did Fiona really expect Angela to react to her lover’s severed head? Fiona seems to be aware of Angela’s power, so it’s a bit of a silly move on Fiona’s part.
The investigation into Madison’s disappearance devolves into a blame game against Fiona. Does nobody care about my Madison?
Zoe does not do a good job with Kyle.
Hubby is cheating on Cordelia. Granted, Red is pretty hot. But come on, Cordelia was willing to have snake sex with you. That hit job better have been goddamn important.
Young Myrtle does a slack job of keeping her plan secret. She jabbers about how she’s cast a truth spell on Butler’s tongue. While he’s within earshot. Guess what he does to keep his tongue from telling the truth? You’re letting the team down, Myrtle.
It’s pretty obvious Zoe is the next Supreme. It was never going to be Madison. Get in the game, Fiona. God.
Oh, and someone throws acid (I think?) in Cordelia’s face while she’s drunk at a bar. Way to ruin a good night, dick.
But it’s not all bad:
Myrtle is one wacked out, determined bitch. Her absolute meltdown after Butler claims it was her who was responsible for his tongue being cut out (by chain of causation, that’s technically true) is marvellous.
Equally, the little frown on Fiona’s face when Cordelia says Madison couldn’t have been the next Supreme (she had a heart problem, and Supremes are always impeccably healthy) is delicious. I don’t think being wrong is something she’s used to.
And as boneheaded as it was, Fiona’s special delivery for Angela is perfectly nasty. Angela’s response is fun, too.
The first reanimated corpse to knock on the school’s door is one of Kathy’s daughters. Kathy answers the door. The horror! The American horror! Story!
Young Fiona seems genuinely horrified when Butler cuts out his tongue. He loved her too much to let himself speak against her. Love is beautiful.
Kathy is grateful Queenie protected her from the Minotaur. Aww, our homicidal racist may have a chance at redemption yet.
She pays Fiona a compliment, too, which helps Fiona score second best line of the episode:
Kathy: “Miss Fiona. You look…”
Kathy: “I was gonna say beautiful.”
Fiona: “Oh. Well, both are correct.”
Yes they are.
Best line goes to Queenie during her interview about Madison: “Madison Montgomery is a stone cold bitch who loves hard drinking, big dicks, and trouble. If she’s dead, it’s probably because she got wasted and offered the Grim Reaper a handjob or something.” She is glorious.
I kind of extremely want to know what the fuck Hubby is up to.
Zoe whips up some poison to put Kyle down, but he’s already gone. It’s the thought that counts.
One of Myrtle’s offsiders is the old drag queen from Hidden Palms.
The penalty for harming a fellow witch is death by burning at the stake. I wonder who Fiona’s gonna pin it on.
Cordelia drunk vomits in the bar toilets. Just like real life.
Neighbour Boy comes to the school to bring Nan some thank you cookies. Moments before the zombies arrive.
Oh, and it’s good to see Madison is still around. Even if she is part of Butler’s creepy doll collection. And he himself also dresses up like a doll. Groovy.