Once Upon a Time in Wonderland Season 1 Episode 3 – TV Review

Once Wonderland Red Queen Jafar dinner Cyrus

You don’t have to ask me twice, darling.

How could anyone turn down dinner with these two?

Cyrus is so ungrateful.

TL;DR RQ and Jafar unsuccessfully try to force Alice to use her wishes; they do learn about Knave, though; Knave is revealed to actually be from the Enchanted Forest and his tragic former lover is RQ (scandalous); Alice and Knave find out Rabbit is the mole; Caterpillar is a jerk.

That’s what Iggy Pop gets for spending time with Ke$ha.

Our Wonderland plot finds Alice and Knave still on the search for the bottle thief. Knave knows of an item called the Forget-Me-Knot (the episode title is “Forget Me Not.” Get it?), which can show you the past. But Caterpillar, the guy he owes money to and who is offering the bounty, is the one who has it. They go and see him anyway, but it turns out a monster called Grendel has it. Blah blah blah Grendel is actually sympathetic, our heroes get the Forger-Me-Knot and use it to see that Rabbit took the bottle. Meanwhile, RQ and Jafar try to trick Cyrus into telling them what Alice fears the most, so they can use it against Alice and force her to use one of her wishes. They incorrectly deduce that to be the Bandersnatch. Alice and Knave dispatch it with ease. And in flashback, we hop over to the Enchanted Forest, where Knave was Will Scarlet of Robin Hood‘s Merry Men. He steals the Looking Glass from Maleficent’s castle, thus defying Robin’s policies and alienating himself from the Merry Men. But it’s all in the name of love for Anastasia, who turns out to be a less toffee-nosed, earlier version of the Red Queen herself. They jump through the portal and leave for Wonderland.

No! RQ doesn’t need any distraction from her hate-flirting with Jafar (which is still deliciously rampant, btw).

The love agenda, while still vital to the plot, has been thankfully cranked down this episode. No doubt due to a reduced role for Alice. I’m still keeping my Worried Malcontent hat on, though.

Otherwise, there’s nothing particularly wrong with this one. I know I’ve been going soft on new shows recently, but I like to get to know a show before I start ripping into it.

That’s why I’m so hard on Glee. Being there from the beginning makes the rage so much sweeter when things fuck up.

 

Why I hate this episode:

RQ and Jafar are disappointingly incompetent at figuring out what terror to unleash on Alice. They choose the Bandersnatch because Cyrus, knowing what they’re planning, grimaces at its mention. Cyrus did it to trick them, because Alice knows exactly how to defeat it. Umm, here’s an idea: go out there and get the wishes off her yourself? If a wild pig can find her within minutes, surely you two can put some resources together to track her down.

Cyrus also turns down eating dinner with Jafar and RQ, which is just insane.

After using the Forget-Me-Knot, Knave decides to destroy it instead of letting Caterpillar get his greedy, evil hands on it. Or, you could, like, keep it for yourselves because it would definitely be useful again?

Robin Hood’s philosophy about how stealing from people as long as you don’t do it selfishly is some communist bullshit.

Grendel is dissuaded from murdering and eating Alice and Knave (and skeletons in the kitchen suggest Grendel is nowhere near above murdering and eating people) simply by Knave talking about lost love. Somehow, I think a homicidal cannibal might be a bit harder to reach than that.

Oh, and we sadly don’t get to see Maleficent (we only get to hear her voice). I miss her.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Alice shuts the fuck up for most of the episode.

Knave takes the lead in Alice’s quiet, and his non-idealised view of the world is much more relatable. I’m impressed that we’re only the 3rd episode in and we’ve already got significant crossover with the Enchanted Forest. I can only hope for more.

I legitimately gasped when RQ popped out as Anastasia. Good god, what did they do to each other to make them who they are now?

Alice and Knave make a pretty efficient team. They define the problem they need to solve (find out who stole the bottle), choose a course of action (see Caterpillar for the Forget-Me-Knot), take action (go get it from Grendel), and reap their reward (use the Forget-Me-Knot to see rabbit stealing the bottle). Carry on.

While not as successful, I’ll give points to RQ and Jafar for at least giving it a shot. The flirtation is still red hot, too, with Jafar earning best line with his compliment:
RQ: “Oh, I am so much more than I appear.”
Jafar: “That much is becoming apparent. Beneath the surface, and it is quite a surface to behold, there is something else.”
If all goes well, that’d be Jafar’s dick.

Jafar says he wants to own Cyrus’ magic. So I guess he’s just a greedy guts. That’s motivation enough for me.

Maleficent doesn’t care about the gold that the Merry Men steals. She only wants the Looking Glass back. #RichBitch

Alice uses the sharp edges of the wish crystals to cut her bonds while prisoner in Grendel’s kitchen. Now that’s thinking outside the box.

Grendel is a monster because RQ zapped him that way when he stole the Forget-Me-Knot from her. She’s a star.

Jafar kills Grendel, making good on his offer to “reunite” him with his wife. I lol’d.

Oh, and Alice and Knave bicker delightfully while tied up. They work it out, though.

Once Wonderland Alice Knave ship

Alice better wash that pinky.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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