Ravenswood Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

Ravenswood Olivia homecoming red paint

I think she would have settled for a tarp, to be honest.

Ravenswood can’t possibly last more than one season.

This is the same weak shit we saw with The Secret Circle, and ABC Family is far less edgy than The CW.

And the leads are Caleb and the sister from Beauty & the Beast?

Come on.

TL;DR About as spooky as a PG horror movie, Ravenswood is softer than Tyler Blackburn’s beautiful hair. Mysteries abound, but I find myself strongly averse to getting to know another group of pretty teens who I most likely won’t need to see again in a season’s time.

There is some gold in here. But it’s dirty and lonely.

The plot follows on directly from PLL’s Halloween episode. Miranda and Caleb do meet up with her Uncle, and he is indeed an unfriendly mortician. She’s gonna stay around and try to get some answers about why her mum left Ravenswood or something, and Caleb is just, like, hanging around? In their effort to discover the truth about their doppelganger gravestones (which are gone, btw), they befriend Remy, a pretty teen who works at her dad’s town newspaper. They discover some history of Ravenswood that seems to show a pattern of 5 teens dying every now and then after a sole surviving soldier returns home from war. Guess what Remy’s mum is? Meanwhile, a pair of siblings, Luke and Olivia, deal with being pariahs because their mum supposedly murdered their dad recently. This culminates in Olivia getting PETA’d at the homecoming parade. Eventually, our 5 leads end up in a car together. A ghost or something appears on a bridge, and they swerve into a river. Drowning is imminent.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if they did all drown and that was that? That’s a twist I can support.

Look, my disdain with Ravenswood is rooted in my paralyzing fear that the supernatural elements will turn out to be completely true, which means the door will be open for supernatural elements to infiltrate and destroy PLL. They’re in the same universe.

The 2 ways I’d want Ravenswood to go would be: 1) for the supernatural stuff to be present, but eventually debunked and explained. Or 2) for them to go all out on the supernatural stuff. Just really go crazy with it.

If you’re gonna ruin your show, ruin the bloody fuck out of it.

Hey, that’s my life motto, too.


Why I hate this episode:

It’s got premiere-itis. I don’t know these characters well enough. I can’t care about them yet. Same thing happened with The Tomorrow People, and Cult. Any premiere is the same. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get there.

I am hating Miranda so far. She seemed like a presumptuous bitch who had mistaken being a dick for being spicy when she popped up in PLL. I mean, she’s storming down her Uncle’s door. Yeah, he ditched her when her parents died, but she’s unlikeably haughty and self-righteous about it. I’m not a fan of her actress, either. She played one of my least favourite characters on B&tB. It’s gonna take a while to break that association.

Caleb is not strong enough to lead a show. At best, he was Hanna’s stress ball and IT deus ex machina. Your daddy plotline was unnecessary, and getting to have your own show is just insane.

What he’s doing there is still weird, too. He was only supposed to stick with Miranda until she met up with her Uncle, but now he’s having dinner and taking baths at the mansion. What?

He’s also flirting mega hardcore with Miranda. Dogging Hanna is unforgivable.

The scares are pretty lame and stock standard. We’ve got the ghostly hand just out of vision, the attempted bathtub drowning, the reflection in the window that disappears, and the ghost on the middle of the road.

No creepy town/teen supernatural angst show can really live up to Hemlock Grove. Obv.

Oh, and fucking Miranda wrenches the steering wheel out of Remy’s grasp to swerve the car away from the ghost in the road. Which is what causes them to go into the river. Silly billy.


But it’s not all bad:

There’s actually colour in Ravenswood now. Hallelujah.

The Luke/Olivia mystery is the juiciest one so far. Their father died recently, and it is widely assumed that their mother murdered him. The siblings’ introduction is when they try to reason with their mother who is scrubbing “black widow” off her husband’s gravestone. Olivia is trying to pretend everything is fine and carry on with life, while Luke has become anti-social and withdrawn due to the town turning on them.

Luke’s paranoia is validated after Olivia gets the paint thrown on her. And he makes a shocking confession to Olivia that he thinks mummy might have totally killed daddy. Ooh.

Remy’s got her own piece of the mystery puzzle because her mum is the war survivor who might be part of the repetition of the curse.

And then there’s the curse itself. If our 5 leads don’t die, does that mean the curse is broken? Will it keep coming after them? Or will a different group of teens cop it, instead? So there is something to look forward to.

In the PLL Halloween episode, the Liars encountered a partygoer dressed as a soldier who had a blonde cousin in a white dress. A soldier’s face in an old newspaper looks a lot like him. Spooky.

Tyler from Ringer is a teacher.

Best line goes to Remy. She’s encouraging her mother, who is a doctor, to start a practice because the town’s current doctor is old and disgusting: “When he coughs there’s dust. It’s like when you beat a rug.” Good analogy, baby.

Miranda makes a decent crack about her Uncle’s mansion, too: “I know. It’s huge. It has its own weather.” Well, she did find a wet spot inside.

Olivia’s boyfriend reminds me of 2006-era Kevin Zegers. NIce.

Oh, and in an impressive twist on the formula, Caleb gets attacked by a ghost while all naked in the tub. It’s a shame he isn’t more pec and ab-licious, but I’ll take what I can get.

Ravenswood Caleb bath scene Tyler Blackburn shirtless

Who would have thought ABC Family could be progressive, huh?

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

5 responses to “Ravenswood Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review”

  1. Amadan says :

    if because of ravenswood we discovered A is a superpowered immortal witch, i’ll cry screaming

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